Brother wants off the Mortgage.. Havibg to sell

Pixie5740

OP, I get this is distressing for you but in all fairness you've been living in a property you couldn't otherwise have afford or you and your OH would have got your own mortgage by now. Why is it more fair to keep the brother and his wife on the hook?

If you have paid both the brother and his wife £25k then surely there will be some equity when the place has sold. Is there any kind of Declaration of Trust in place detailing what will happen with the property is sold? How is the property owned? Joint tenants or tenants in common? If no DoT has your OH discussed how any equity will be distributed?

As I understand it you are party to neither the mortgage or the deeds and are therefore not a legal owner of the property. However, you might be able to prove you are a beneficial owner but you will need legal advice about that.

Mummy2211

BBH123 wrote: »

I am wondering if this family is from another culture where family is all as I cannot imagine such a scenario tbh, no-one I know would tolerate this at all.

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Yes, and I think that I can guess the culture... None the less, they are in the UK now and so bound by English or Scottish law. I do hope that the OP is taking proper legal advice.

Pixie5740 wrote: »

OP, I get this is distressing for you but in all fairness you've been living in a property you couldn't otherwise have afford or you and your OH would have got your own mortgage by now. Why is it more fair to keep the brother and his wife on the hook?

If you have paid both the brother and his wife £25k then surely there will be some equity when the place has sold. Is there any kind of Declaration of Trust in place detailing what will happen with the property is sold? How is the property owned? Joint tenants or tenants in common? If no DoT has your OH discussed how any equity will be distributed?

As I understand it you are party to neither the mortgage or the deeds and are therefore not a legal owner of the property. However, you might be able to prove you are a beneficial owner but you will need legal advice about that.

Pixie - I didnt but the house in the 1st place, I moved in 2 years later, The house at 1st was brought as a investment for the brothers, But the house prices crashed, So my OH lived in the house and has done ever since.
When the brother asked for his money out of the house i was 5months Pregnant at the time (he likes make things happen when we are not the in the best place) So he said either sell the house or get a loan for the money, So we got the loan, because we were having a baby! And this would be our family home - We went to the money advisor to get the mortagge signed over to just the two of us, But the mortgage said we did not earn enough to take the other two off the mortage - So we thought after id had baby, i would look for a higher paid job so that i could take it over. But sadley like alot of others, that hasnt realy worked out, with child care fees etc! BUT we have been paying the mortgage ourself, So we can afford the house, but to the computer is says No. When the House is sold it will all go to OH, but once the mortgage has been paid off (they had a interest only mortgage anyway) and fees paid , paid off loans, there wouldnt be a great amount left, Not enough for a another deposit, and also because OH is only 7 months into being self employed no one will touch him - I lost my job in December so again i cant get anything either.


OH will not fight, he will not argue, He will just let them walk all over him, They always have done and they will continue to do so, because he wont stand up to them. I have not rights to say what is happening and what he should do, But there is nothing to say that i have anything into the house, apart from the bank statements to say i have been paying the mortgage as much as my OH. We are not married.. So i am left with nothing.

His family are money hungry and they dont care who gets hurt in the mean time. His mother says shes doing this for him? Not sure where she gets thats from, but she said that once brother has brought her house, she will give him some money from the sale! its all money money money too her. Hasnt actually sat and thought about the bigger picture.

This is all 100 % true, even though no on can understand how a family can be like this. But this is them.

We have nothing lined up for when this is sold, Apart from living with friends until we can sort somthing more perm out. But the money from the sale of the house will need to go down as rent for private renting, and then try and build money back up..

I wont be talking to this family ever again, that is for sure.

Mummy2211

Voyager2002 wrote: »

Yes, and I think that I can guess the culture... None the less, they are in the UK now and so bound by English or Scottish law. I do hope that the OP is taking proper legal advice.

All 100 % British - born and bread the south. shocked?

MortgageMamma

Hi Mummy2211

Sorry for delayed reply to your thread my kids have been ill

I CAN actually believe what this family are being like with you, I had something similar done to me back in 1997 and have never been able to afford to buy a house since

I repeat what I said earlier on, with a little more emphasis on your partner

1. You don't say if your partner has signed the papers at the solicitors/estate agents to sell the property?

2. It seems your partners inability to bare his teeth at the family is leaving you doubly compromised, both financially and in your relationship. I hate to point this out but you have to question the wisdom of remaining with someone who will sell his children short for the benefit of his parents,

3. Time to think of yourself and your children, you need damage limitation here. Apply to your local council for housing with a full explanation of whats gone on (so they don't think you are making yourself homeless intentionally). They may be able to give you some support.

4. You need to stop paying for non essentials and get some money in the bank quickly

5. Check your home insurance policy to see if its got family legal cover, if it has, phone and ask for help

6. If you don't have family legal cover, phone a solicitor. You will most likely be entitled to legal aid to get some advice on if and how your partner can block the sale

7. If it all goes to !!!!, go home to your family, thats what real family are for

8. I really sympathise about your daughter who has mental health problems, I have a son with severe mental health problems and I understand completely the awful situation this is for her. Shield her from it as best as you can. Speak to pastoral support at her school, tell them whats happening, they can send you a family support worker who can assist with housing issues. If your daughters still under mental health services, tell them whats happening and ask how is best to handle it. Ask them can they write a letter to support a housing application on health grounds for your daughter. All this will really help.

9. Dont forget to look after yourself in all this. You have to put your and your kids first now. If your partners not prepared to at least say no to his family you seriously need to be asking yourself if there is a future in this relationship. If you can be honest with yourself about that its a good start. If he doesn't get his act together (soon) think about making future housing applications in your sole name and leave him to fend for himself (as he's effectively doing to you and your kids).

Do all this now before it gets too late.

Mummy2211

MortgageMamma wrote: »

Hi Mummy2211

Sorry for delayed reply to your thread my kids have been ill

I CAN actually believe what this family are being like with you, I had something similar done to me back in 1997 and have never been able to afford to buy a house since

I repeat what I said earlier on, with a little more emphasis on your partner

1. You don't say if your partner has signed the papers at the solicitors/estate agents to sell the property?.

2. It seems your partners inability to bare his teeth at the family is leaving you doubly compromised, both financially and in your relationship. I hate to point this out but you have to question the wisdom of remaining with someone who will sell his children short for the benefit of his parents.

It is what most people have said also, I know my family would never do such a thing, and i know my parents would shield me from any money troubles they had, as they wouldnt want me to know.

3. Time to think of yourself and your children, you need damage limitation here. Apply to your local council for housing with a full explanation of whats gone on (so they don't think you are making yourself homeless intentionally). They may be able to give you some support.
The local council have turned their back on me, Because i am currently no in employment, they will not register me and the children in the housing list, because they said i would not be able to pay rent - But as i advised them, i can not claim any benefits while i am living here, So bascially in order for them to register me and the children on the housing lregister, i have to declare me and the children homless. I did the form in good time, well when i knew that these idiots were planning, and said that i wanted to have this done and registered so that i would be in a better chance than becoming homless.

4. You need to stop paying for non essentials and get some money in the bank quickly
I have done, Well because i am not earning at the moment, I dont pay for anything but then i have also stopped doing everything in the house also. I do EVERYTHING normally, But they want the house painted before the photos, But im not busting my gut out for this to be done, and i am not spening out on those sort of things anyway.

5. Check your home insurance policy to see if its got family legal cover, if it has, phone and ask for help
i will double check this, as funny enough the home insurance is actullly in my name

6. If you don't have family legal cover, phone a solicitor. You will most likely be entitled to legal aid to get some advice on if and how your partner can block the sale

7. If it all goes to !!!!, go home to your family, thats what real family are for
I have been considering this, But my daughter is settled into school now, after 4 months off last year, and she has just been placed for her GCSE options, and she has already said she would like to be able to stay where she is because she feels settled there now. But if all else failes i wont have much of a choice, and i will make the driver everyday for her to get to school, Because thats what we do for a our children right? Do everything we can for them .

8. I really sympathise about your daughter who has mental health problems, I have a son with severe mental health problems and I understand completely the awful situation this is for her. Shield her from it as best as you can. Speak to pastoral support at her school, tell them whats happening, they can send you a family support worker who can assist with housing issues. If your daughters still under mental health services, tell them whats happening and ask how is best to handle it. Ask them can they write a letter to support a housing application on health grounds for your daughter. All this will really help.
She is with the mental health team still, and they have been great they have writted to the housing team aleeady, Although i do not know what that letter said, But they confirmed it has been seen by the housing medical team, Not that it made any difference as like i stated before they wont help me until we are actually homeless, which is what i am trying to prevent for the sake of my children, But they dont want to know :mad:

9. Dont forget to look after yourself in all this. You have to put your and your kids first now. If your partners not prepared to at least say no to his family you seriously need to be asking yourself if there is a future in this relationship. If you can be honest with yourself about that its a good start. If he doesn't get his act together (soon) think about making future housing applications in your sole name and leave him to fend for himself (as he's effectively doing to you and your kids).

Alot of my friends and family will say that i dont ever think about myself, and i always put others before me, even if it makes me sad, angry, etc etc, I have to make sure everyone else if happy before i think about what its doing for me. But i have no started to think that actually, My kids and me can do so much better without having to put up with all this too. So i need to think long and Hard.

Hopfully with alot of hard work and savings, I will be able to buy my own house for us all.. One day hey one day [/B][/B]

Do all this now before it gets too late.

He's Signed them for the Estate agents, for it to go up for sale.

Mojisola

Mummy2211 wrote: »

He's Signed them for the Estate agents, for it to go up for sale.

Can you really stay with a man who has agreed to make his family homeless?

Pixie5740

Is the mortgage still in arrears? What is the plan for repaying the capital when the mortgage term ends?

Mummy2211

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Is the mortgage still in arrears? What is the plan for repaying the capital when the mortgage term ends?

No, the mortgage is up to date.

When they house sell, he will repay what's outstanding on the mortgage, Then what ever if left over is OH's.

Had we of stayed here, then we would have gone onto Repayments this year, That was the plan anyway Which would have given us 16 years to pay it off.

MortgageMamma

HI Mummy2211


Thanks for the reply, you sound like a very strong and resilient woman. The councils can be useless until the actual event happens. I can see how you feel your hands are tied regarding the matter.

Still, where there is a will, there is a way. You must stay strong and focussed and pragmatic about things.


My advice now would be to have a big sort out and SELL everything you don't need. Even if it hurts a bit it will put you in a better financial position for the future.


I do this annually - you might think I'm mad but it usually makes a fair bit of cash


Sort out all decent clothing, wash it, iron it, stick it in bundles on ebay and facebook marketplace


Look at your furniture - if there is anything you don't use, no matter how small sell it the same way. Plenty of people about that will buy and restore stuff or just can't afford new stuff


Sell all unwanted jewellery - I can't advise where is best to do this but I've always used ebay


Sell all the kids toys they have grown out


Look around your kitchen - sell any small appliances that get little use, coffee makers etc.


Sell bedding, curtains, linens anything like that you don't use.


Sell any personal items like hair straighteners/curlers/exercise equipment


Not only does it make you money, it empties the house a little so should make your removals cheaper.


Regarding your daughter - if partner is in employment, could he not negotiate with family to pay the next two months mortgage payments to free up capital for you to rent privately? If they want you out so badly perhaps this could be a good point to compromise


Do refuse to do ANY work to the house, you are going to be busy enough.


I don't know how your job search is going and it must be difficult thinking about work amongst all this, but perhaps try and get some temp work to tide you over - it can and often does turn permanent.


There is another option


You could go to the council and tell them that your relationship with your partner has broken down irretrievably due to this situation, and that its causing severe mental distress to an unwell child living there because of the hostilities. Tell them you fear your daughter will make an attempt on her life if you have to continue living in this situation any longer. You could also tell them you feel physically unsafe and need to be rehoused urgently. Its not a far stretch from the truth (if any) and also add in the "harassment" you are getting from your partners family.


I know what I'm saying isn't easy to do, but I think you need to be persistent with the council and play up the vulnerabilities you have to push them into doing something for you.


Have you spoken to Shelter? Its not just for homeless people, they also have advisers who can guide you through the law and your options in these situations


Hope this helps a little, wish there was more I could do for you


MM