Brother wants off the Mortgage.. Havibg to sell

MortgageMamma

Just a thought. Is there nobody else in the "family" who could go on the mortgage with them? To buy out the brother and keep them in a home?


Just my opinion but it sounds like the mother in law has a bit of a dictatorship going on with her kids. She could easily sell her house on the open market and benefit from the equity AND give her sons a lump sum if she chose to do so.

She could also look at equity release.


I'm still struggling to understand how a woman/mother can actually inflict such a financially damaging and toxic situation amongst her children.


Even if the OP and her partner survive this financially and keep the house, there is always going to be bad feelings amongst the sons and from the daughter in law.


Never ceases to amaze me in my job just how ugly people get when money is involved.


Rant over.

silvercar

Why can't brother-in-law sell one of his other properties? Or even remortgage them in order to help his mother.

DCFC79

silvercar wrote: »

Why can't brother-in-law sell one of his other properties? Or even remortgage them in order to help his mother.

I bet he doesn't want to do this and other people will suffer just because he doesn't want to sell.

MortgageMamma

I honestly still can't get my head around why this self proclaimed "matriarch" would do this to her family, she either can't see the permanent strain she's putting on everyones relationships or doesn't care.

To the OP (if you are still reading). Do NOT agree to leave or sell the property. Let brother in law take you to court if he has to, chances are the court would take a sympathetic view given you have a child and have been paying the mortgage

Mojisola

Mummy2211 wrote: »

BUT.. This said brother is still named on our mortgage, The house was brought between three, My other half, His brother and wife. We paid them the £25k they put into the house, But we were then unable to take them off the mortgage, because they said we did not earn enough to take off - so it was just left as it was.

mrginge wrote: »

Yes quite possibly.

Then we could also say that the brother has tied up his own money to help the OP & partner avoid 11 years worth of renting.

He's already had his money back.

WorkingTowardsDebtFree

I really feel for you, OP.

The parental in-laws want cash out of their house to fund their extravagant lifestyle, and they want brother-in-law to (and the brother-in-law wants to) buy their house to free up their cash to do that.

It sounds like the parental-in-laws will do well out of it, and it sounds like the brother-in-law will do to - and he's already doing well in life.

However, you're just trying to keep a roof over your head and not waste paying rent to help someone else.

It seems that your brother-in-law was willing to help you previously, but when the chips are down he's only interested in himself, and it sounds like he gets that attitude from his mother.

I feel for your other half, I think he should be sticking up for you and your kids more, but I also know that's easier said than done and when it comes to family - especially parents and siblings - there's the emotional ties and sometimes people can take advantage and manipulate others.

I know that you've already paid back your brother-in-law the £25k he put in - so that at least gives you some equity, on top of the mortgage you've been paying in. I know your parents-in-law want access to cash in a swap for equity with your brother-in-law... But I think there are a couple of other options that gives everyone what they want....

Could your brother-in-law purchase half their house? Or another percentage? He could get a mortgage for a lower LTV which gives them cash now, and in the future you will have higher equity in your house through mortgage payments (and hopefully rising house prices) - and at that point it might be easier for you to get a mortgage to get him out of the picture... At that point, if he so wishes he could then buy the rest of his parent's house. In the meantime, they get hold of the cash they so desparately seem to want.

Of course, the sensible option is that he sells one of his other properties, but he doesn't seem to want to do that. Are they all mortgaged? Could he re-mortgage one or more of those to free up capital to purchase his parents house?

mrginge

Mojisola wrote: »

He's already had his money back.

My assumption is that the OP and partner protected their 25k investment at the point they handed it over to the brother.

If that is incorrect well that’s the OPs mistake.

Mummy2211

Thank you everyone for your replies. Yes its an awful situation to be in, and very dam stressfully. To answer some questioned been raised.

The house was brought as an investment - But the house prices crashed and no money would have been made, So OH stayed in the property (I was not living with him at the time they got the house hence why I am not on the mortgage)

BIL wanted his money out of the house 7 years ago, So he said we either sell the house or give him his 25k - So we managed to get a loan to pay him back (So nothing was actually in writing that we gave him this money, only it leaving our bank to his bank, Stupid I know, but it was down to OH as its his mortgage, and he assured that his brother wouldn't screw him over)

We tried to take the mortgage over when we paid him the money back, but they broker said we didn't earn enough to take him off, So we just left it until we could. Unfortanly that never came around.

We do have debt old loans and credit cards, Which we have been trying to clear down as much as possible, but still have them outstanding, So not great credit at the moment.

We pay the mortageg every month, his brother pays nothing into the house for anything, its purly his name is on the mortgage, nothing else.

I was not invoted to the "talks" about what was happening, that was between them as a family apprently, even though this envoles me and the children, I wasnt allowed to be there.

I do not know why they havent looked at other options, i have asked the question but get nothing back from them. The fact that his brother didnt tell us about his other propertie, it was actually his estate agent friend who let slip about it. But again when this was raised nothing was said.


I have two children one of which is not my OH, so his family do not take her into consideration at all, and have no interest into her mental health that she is battling with (self harming and suicide) She has just settled in to school and picked her GCSE after being out of school for 4 months! So again when i was crying in their faces saying they can not do this, They just shrugged the shoulders and told me i do not have a choice as it legally is not my house...

Despite me paying into the house for the last 9 years, Mortgage, house insurance everything.


I do feel somthing isnt right some where, because the parents partiular the mother is so money tight, she wouldnt lend you £1 without asking what it was for and when she would get it back, So i do not understand how she has go low on her savings, Surly when booking her 8th holiday last year she would have seen her money going down??. It makes no sence.

My parents cant help me, as they are in their 80's, and i dont have siblings that could even help. Our friends are now in the stage of buying their own houses now too, as we have had a couple who have said they would have loved to help, but cant with their houses, and plus this is a massive ask for friends.

His family are all money hungry - Its a compertition out of them all, on who has the biggest house and biggest bank balance, Well OH has lost that one, as they are happy to take it all away from him.


It has been left down to me to get the house all re painted and packed up, As they plan to have it on the market 2nd week in april. So this week i have done nothing, and i plan on doing nothing too. Because She cant come and tell me to leave the house, as its not hers. and if i am walking anway with nothing, why should i be doing everything? This is how they think basically, Everyone else has to do all the work, but they want all the money.


Fact is when this is sold (which i will hold out for as long as i can) OH will not have enough for a deposit for a house, and is very unlikly to get another mortgage for a year or two, maybe more as he needs to repair his credit. But my worry is, that they money he will get, will be eatten up with having to pay private renting costs, making it twice as hard to save for a deposit, and Im not sure if it true or not, but being self employed we would need a higher deposit than normal?

Could we look at rent to buy? is that any more easier than stright buying from the market?

I just need to minimise as much moving as possible for the sake of the children.

bcfclee27

I have to say whatever happens, when this is all resolved one way or another, if I was your OH my family would be dead to me.

I would cut them out completely once all said and done.

Mummy2211

bcfclee27 wrote: »

I have to say whatever happens, when this is all resolved one way or another, if I was your OH my family would be dead to me.

I would cut them out completely once all said and done.

I dont think my OH would do that - But for me they are all dead to me now, There is no coming back from this at all.