**updated post 34** - Am I being too "doom and gloom" - autistic child

HurdyGurdy

Thank you Maysie and PasturesNew for your further suggestions. I do like Maysie's idea of having a "hideaway" for him, with something comforting for him. He has a Playskool seahorse that he is very attached to (has been since a baby). We have one here that I bought to keep as a spare, but of course, that's not going to have the same feel/smell as his own one, but he may be ok if he hasn't brought his own.

And the food thing is interesting - we have a "dinner winner" plate which we used, to [STRIKE]bribe[/STRIKE] encourage my granddaughter to eat more, which will be perfect for keeping foods separate.

http://www.mollieandfred.co.uk/baby-child-c3/childrens-tableware-c100/fred-dinner-winner-melamine-plate-p3653/s4163?utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=.S%20SHOPPING%20%5BMINT%5D%20-%20desktop%20only&utm_term=4575067883853031&utm_content=other%20brands

The prize at the end probably won't interest the little boy, but wow - was it a good incentive for my granddaughter

dekaspace

Maysie wrote: »

For you son on the train does your grandson have noise cancelling headphones? Some kids really respond well with some as its less stimulation from other people strange noises etc. My son likes to hide behind sunglasses he does not like people looking at him. Fiddle toys like the tangle thingies might be good too. Putting a coat or something over his head might work if his visual cues suggest he is getting upset. Anything to bring down the visual stimuli. Train staff have been brilliant in my experience I have had a couple of problems when trains where they were cancelled and there was no seats. Once made aware they really helped me.

Just to add if you meet one autistic person you have met one autistic person. What works for one might not work for another. Some kids embrace changes for holidays and are excited others will struggle. Some autistic kids do cuddle some don't like it. If you knock into him like brush past it can trigger a flight of fight response yet a firm hands on the shoulder can be comforting. Wishing you all best together.

As a autistic adult and having gone to autism groups I have felt that the noise cancelling headphones are more trouble than they are worth, all they do is cause the child/adult to block out the world instead of teaching them to cope in my case you can say it works too well as I basically fall asleep even in warm bright summer and lose balance not as noticable with kids as they have parents/family to fuss over them but it means by time they are an adult they haven't learned coping mechanisms

HurdyGurdy

Well, it's very early days, as he's only been here for six hours, but as per the thread title - yes, I definitely WAS being too doom and gloom.

He left his mum behind without a backward glance at the station, and hasn't mentioned her since, which is brilliant (for us - for her, probably a bit of a kick in the teeth ). He was perfect on the train down, and kept wanting the train to go faster. He only got a bit restless about half an hour away from the end of the journey.

He has been as good as gold. He is a WONDERFUL little boy. He has come to me for cuddles, and we played a game of tickle at his request (repeatedly!). He has given his grandad cuddles, and when his auntie came in, straight from training for her new job, festooned in Smyth's Toy Shop uniform, he lit up like a Christmas tree. He was mesmerised by her tops, and kept saying "Smyth's Toy Superstore. Proud sponsors of Mickey Mouse Club House". And we could understand pretty much everything he was saying. He is a proper little parrot, and repeats EVERYTHING you say (so we are all on our best behaviour!)

I am soooooooo relieved. He's now gone to bed - no trouble at all - with a fold up bed in daddy's room. Whether he stays there of course, remains to be seen, but for now, all's quiet.

Yes, he is clearly well behind other children of his age, and yes, he is hard to understand when he speaks - very breathy down his nose - and there are still a few things that he's said that we've no idea about.

But I am so happy to have him here, and to be able to bond with him, and spend some time with him.

He's a bundle of energy, and I would love to get a pedometer on him, because he just doesn't sit still :rotfl: . He must easily clock up 10,000 before lunchtime!

Thank you all for your input above, your helpful comments, support and tips. As I said above, it is very early days, and things could turn on a sixpence.

But for now - it looks like we are going to have a fab few days with him. At this rate, we may end up in a custody battle, because we're just not going to want to send him back home again.

minimad1970

That is so lovely to read. My son who is now 22 has Autism and my parents still say "why can't he just do it" or eat it etc. You've done brilliantly to accept that this is how he is, I feel my parents think that my son's doing it to be awkward. I hope you have lots more happy times together.

Pollycat

I'm glad to hear it seems to be working out much better than you (and a lot of posters) feared it would.

Cheeky_Monkey

Thank you for the update OP, that's fantastic news. Let's hope you all continue to have a lovely time this week.

sulkisu

Thanks for the update, hope it continues to go well. One point from your post though, I'm a little confused by the grinning face next to the 'kick in the teeth' comment. To be honest, his mum was probably as relieved as you were that he parted without a fuss or backward glance. There's nothing worse than trying to leave a crying, unhappy child, wouldn't you agree?