Friend Owes Me £174 what do I do?

seven-day-weekend

My friend booked theatre tickets online and the money I owed her was in her bank account before she got the confirmation.

That's the way it should be if you book something for someone else.

She is not your friend. Block her and move on.

JayJay100

Oh, this is tricky, and I've been there.

I presume that this 'friend' is part of your regular life and you'll continue to see her at matches and gigs. Unless you're pretty hard-faced, any bad-feeling between the two of you is going to spoil the matches for you and you will dread seeing her. Do you know if the place she works at is shutting down, or is that just a bare-faced lie? It might be worth trying a different approach and playing a longer game: have you heard of the expression 'keep your friends close, and your enemies closer still'? If her job is going, contact her and say that you're so sorry to hear that, ask if there's anything you can do to help, such as help her to update her CV, keep an eye out for jobs, or refer her to suitable job sites. Tell her that there's no rush for the money back, as you've borrowed some to tide you over, and she can start repaying you, once her job is stable; you could even say that her friendship is too important to you to fall out over this. If she wants you to buy any more tickets, just say that you can't, as your paying your own loan back and have no spare cash, but as soon as your loan is sorted, you'll be able to help out in the future. Make it sounds as though the advantageous friendship is still on the table.

If, and it is if you get the money back, it's then up to you what you do with the friendship. You could easily let it slip it away, but with no bad feeling.

Good luck!

DCFC79

Do a moneyclaim online as advised, thats the only way. I know your mum means well but tell her to stay out of it.

Is it the amount or the principle of what she did for going to moneyclaim online ?

System

why do you keep lending her money when she hasnt paid you back for the last lot she's borrowed off you?

unholyangel

I'm no stranger to advising MCOL (main board I visit here is consumer rights). But in this instance, I don't think I'd recommend it.

Usually these types of debt aren't enforceable because theres no proof of an agreed repayment schedule at the time they loan the money. The worst thing you can do is agree to let them pay you when they can because what if they never can? Also, taking to court doesn't guarantee you'll get your money even if you get a judgement in your favour.

You may have valued your friendship a lot more, but obviously your friend values it at less than £174 if she's threatening you with a restraining order rather than paying you back.

hazyjo

unholyangel wrote: »

Usually these types of debt aren't enforceable because theres no proof of an agreed repayment schedule at the time they loan the money.

Totally agree from what you've said - sounds like you've said on numerous occasions 'pay what/when you can'. Doesn't sound like you stand of chance of changing the rules now - especially if these conversations are all written down (even FB) which it sounds like they are.


If you go through any sort of official claim for it, you'll lose her as a friend. You might as well just dump her now. She sounds awful. My friend at work was in a similar boat and the 'friend' kicked off in a similar manner to yours. My friend disowned her and now says she's not sure why she was ever friends with her anyway. The so-called-friend threatened to ring her work and grass her up (no pun intended) for smoking weed in the past. Really - people can be nasty. Sounds like you're better off without this one...

pearl123

State clearly that you have an bill to pay and that if she is a friend it's time to pay up. If you get a negative response then try some of the ideas that posters have used. Ie threaten her with small claims court etc.

I would not walk away from the money. I would however in your position not give anyone money unless it was obvious they were starving!

unholyangel

hazyjo wrote: »

Totally agree from what you've said - sounds like you've said on numerous occasions 'pay what/when you can'. Doesn't sound like you stand of chance of changing the rules now - especially if these conversations are all written down (even FB) which it sounds like they are.


If you go through any sort of official claim for it, you'll lose her as a friend. You might as well just dump her now. She sounds awful. My friend at work was in a similar boat and the 'friend' kicked off in a similar manner to yours. My friend disowned her and now says she's not sure why she was ever friends with her anyway. The so-called-friend threatened to ring her work and grass her up (no pun intended) for smoking weed in the past. Really - people can be nasty. Sounds like you're better off without this one...

Just aware that courts aren't there to enforce whats fair, only whats legal.

My parents tried to give me the benefit of their life experience by telling me not to loan anything I couldn't afford to lose (because they might not repay you) and if someone did loan you money, you always made sure you paid them back asap (before buying any luxuries for yourself) as they'd be more likely to give you another loan if you needed it.

For me it always comes down to circumstance though. If a friend isn't paying you back yet is going on nights out, holidays, buying luxuries etc and you have to chase them for the money, they're no friend at all. Different if genuinely can't afford to repay and the loan was for something basic like food or heating - I'd happily write it off if it helped them out (although I'll add that I've found those friends typically won't ask for help - you have to offer it and sometimes insist that they accept).

Robisere

By all means try to get it back, but if that does not work, here's a simple message for you to send her: You must pay me back or lose my friendship.

paddy's_mum

£174? Cheap to have obtained that kind of knowledge of this so-called friend's decency/honesty/morals...and cheap for you to have learned that sometimes one can be too nice.