MMD: Should I split my will equally?

Sea_Shell

Bellisima wrote: »

I would give the eldest the “wedding” money now to spend on whatever she wants. My parents did this for me because my husband and I married in secret so did not have a big wedding do, whilst my sisters and brother had big weddings. I spent my share on a new kitchen! Then in your will you can leave them everything split down the middle.

I know of two families who have fallen out due to unequal inheritance amounts. Please treat all your children equally. Do not think oh well one is more wealthy than the other so should inherit less as it can drive families apart. Don not forget you may have nothing to leave if you need to go into a home and pay for your care!

Totally agree with this^^^

BobbinAlong

This is timely as it reminds me I must add a clause to my will saying younger child gets x less than older one as she has had a large loan to buy equipment to help her work self employed in her chosen career. But she will also solely get contents of one specific bank account as this contains the money she has repaid.
And no I wouldn't just give the money, she needs to learn money management and she can pay back from her business earnings. I simply give a better interest rate, flexible repayments and don't have to put my name and risk (low) my excellent credit score as backer to a commercial loan.

penarthian

Leave the same to each but give the other daughter an equal amount now. If not you could make things awkward between the sisters and you will not be there to sort things out.
Also talk to them NOW about your will and your future wishes, burial, cremation, organ donation, all the tough stuff we avoid so we don!!!8217;t upset people. Tell them you love them too!

JayD

I write this with no information as to the daughters' ages or temperaments, but assuming they are both past the age of majority and have reasonably steady lives emotionally and financially I would suggest giving the unmarried daughter a few thousand pounds now, telling her it is for her to put by for her wedding fund.

Then your will can be an equal split and everything will be fair.

If the younger daughter doesn't marry, it will still be fair and in the meantime, it can be earning interest for her.

Red-Squirrel_2

JayD wrote: »

I would suggest giving the unmarried daughter a few thousand pounds now, telling her it is for her to put by for her wedding fund.

I agree with giving her the money but not with telling her its for her wedding! What if she has no intention of getting married? What if she would like to but never meets the right person?

Just give her the money, tell her that its the equivalent of what was given for her sister's wedding so that things are even, but that there are no strings and she can spend it on a house deposit, on retraining for a new career, for a new car or for a holiday of a lifetime, whatever she wants!

Then leave everything 50/50 in your will.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I'm the eldest grandchild; my cousins all got money from my Nan for their weddings. When I bought my house she sent me a cheque for furnishings with the comment "because you're not ever going to get married, are you dear?" I bought a decent bed which I'm confident was a much better investment than a wedding (oh, and one cousin was divorced within six months). Strangely, my Nan didn't need to ask advice on the internet for this obvious solution.

badmemory

Give the daughter the money now. If you leave it to her in your will it will hopefully be worth a lot less than it will be now. You can always make it totally clear that if she marries she will get a wedding present but not a large financial gift.

You could always choose when the time comes to give both daughters another gift. Maybe grandchildren or another wedding but that would depend on your resources. But it is rarely wise to treat children significantly different unless there is a very real reason.

DPS-2016

I feel like I may slightly be a broken record on the MDD's but again, I think the ultimate decision rests with whatever you feel most comfortable with.

If it feels right to you, it probably is.

Ultimately, no one's entitled to anything!!

sammy1234567

If you are not treating them equally and they know it, it may cause resentment between them later.
Yes it's also up to you wha you do with your money.
Some parents do not love their children equally and that is sad, if the children perceive it so.

onlyroz

My parents gave my brother around £20k to fund IVF treatment. Should I be asking them to give me the same amount of money because it;s only fair? Or ask them to rewrite their will to give me a bigger cut? Or perhaps I should ask them if they love him more than me? Or should I just accept that different people have different needs at different times and then get on with my life?

(As an aside, my uni education cost my parents a lot more than my brothers did because I studied in London and he studied in Grimsby. Has he perhaps been seething all these years because I got given more than him back then, and so he views the IVF money as payback for this earlier mistreatment)