MMD: Should I split my will equally?

stmartinsdiver

We had 'secret' savings accounts for each of our two daughters to cover future costs of possible weddings or house purchases. We stopped topping both accounts up when the first daughter got married and handed both accounts across at that time telling daughter #2 that she could use the money as she saw fit and it was duly used to put a deposit on a flat. When she subsequently married we contributed to her wedding and gave #1 daughter the same amount of money which she used to pay for her divorce!

Finchx6

I’m one of three girls. My father moved in with my (estranged) sister when he became unable to look after himself. He subsequently paid £22k for an extension to her house that was for him to live in. Although I didn’t see him often he always said that when he died he wanted my other sister (who lives overseas) and me to have the same value from his estate before any equal split of the residue, his will stated an equal split between the three of us. Each time my response was that he would need to change his will or make a codicil if that was his wishes. He was taken very ill and was hospitalised, my sister came back from overseas to see him, he mentioned his wishes again to her (her response was the same as mine) he saw the light and asked her to organise the solicitor to visit him in Hospital. He re-wrote his will. He left me and my overseas sister each the sum he put into our other sisters home and then an equal split between the three of us. Unfortunately Dad didn’t leave enough for us to have £22k each (he thought he had more money than he had!) but it put his mind at rest that he tried to be fair.

TBagpuss

Mojisola wrote: »

Why should the daughter who has already had a financial gift be allowed to veto her sister receiving the same benefit?

Yes, I wouldn't ask that daughter, although I think it would be appropriate to *tell* both of them what you decide - whether that is to say 'I'm putting in my will that [Older daughter] is to get a lump sum to match what [younger daughter] had for her wedding, that's why the will provides for a lump sum to her before the balance is split" or to say to them both now "I've given [older daughter] a lump sum gift to match what I provided towards [younger daughter]'s wedding, because I want to be fair to you both.

I agree that giving the older daughter the lump sum now is simpler in some ways - you can work out what a reasonable amount is taking into account inflation since you paid for her sister's wedding, rather than having to try to estimate what might be fair at the time you die.

gloriouslyhappy

happyinflorida wrote: »

Do you always ask strangers rather than talk to your daughters?!
Is there a reason why you're asking strangers rather than just discussing it with your daughters first?

Isn't that what's this forum is for, to exchange ideas and get 'impartial' second opinions in a safe anonymous place?

Cimscate

In general terms I agree with other posters that the best way is to give the other daughter the same amount or ask her if she'd rather have it in a savings account. However, do people really keep tabs on what a parent has spent. I am 1 of 7 and while my parents contributed to mine and my sisters weddings they would not have contributed to the same extent to my brothers. I'm sure over the years he probably helped us all out, for example he lent me money for house deposit but not the others (as far as I am aware) None of us kept a tally and the money was divided equally when he passed away. He knows his own daughters best and should do what he thinks will be best for them and him.

crmism

This is clearly something that will prey on your mind, so why not bequeath a pecuniary legacy of the same amount to your elder daughter, then divide the residue of your estate equally between both of them?

That way, fairness is achieved.:)

TensandUnits

I would bequeath them both the same (50% each). You never know, the other daughter may get married or need some money in the next few years.

TomBridges

I don't believe fair equals half.

Parents can't possibly share money out equally while you are growing up. My brother needed help after getting into financial difficulties... I was supported going to uni.

I would be quite happy for my mum to leave more money to my brother as he lives in a much more expensive part of the country.

onlyroz

Unless you’re terminally ill I wouldn’t worry about it. If you want to do something then perhaps an amount of money could be set aside for the unmarried daughter incase she gets married?

Bellisima

I would give the eldest the “wedding” money now to spend on whatever she wants. My parents did this for me because my husband and I married in secret so did not have a big wedding do, whilst my sisters and brother had big weddings. I spent my share on a new kitchen! Then in your will you can leave them everything split down the middle.

I know of two families who have fallen out due to unequal inheritance amounts. Please treat all your children equally. Do not think oh well one is more wealthy than the other so should inherit less as it can drive families apart. Don not forget you may have nothing to leave if you need to go into a home and pay for your care!