Aligning the Stars

[Deleted User]

I find Tesco is alright for online shopping. They have a lot of own brands (Stockwells, Growers Harvest, suntrail farms etc) that have replaced the old Tesco Value things, but are equally as cheap. Some things are cheaper than Aldi there, others comparable. I like shopping there for essentials as I can also pop in a few things I wouldn't be able to get in Aldi at the same time.

efes_shareholder

I've just done a shop with sainsburys to send to my son who is away at university

targeted all off their offers and took advantage of the £18.00 off your first shop when you spend £60 offer

Might be worth looking at , I simply create a new email address or use one of my many work ones

Starmummy

Thank you for the online shopping tips. I will bear them in mind.

In the interest of being frugal I've decided not to do a big shop now. Instead I took inventory of the cupboards and fridge/freezer and I have a small list of bits needed to turn bits and bobs into culinary delights. I should need to spend no more than £20 and that should keep us fed until we go away on 20th- might need to top up milk and bread etc in a few days time.
I will do some baking with SC, she enjoyed it last week, I plan to make pasties, fork biscuits and chocolate brownies to go in lunch boxes, and another vat of soup.

Starmummy

It was parent's evening last night.

I am experiencing a touch of the Mum guilt at the moment. I know I'm a good mum and SC is delightful. I'm really proud of her but I think she could really do with a bit of nurturing and me being more present.
She needs quite a bit of help with her spelling and some encouragement with her maths.

I'm also well aware that from a home perspective she is a bit useless too. I've just never had the time to teach her between working full time, studying and spinning all the other plates it's just quicker doing it all myself. But I find she needs me more now at 10 than ever before. She was so upset that I didn't make her cake this year as "it's her favourite thing about her birthday" I felt just rotten. She didn't eat more than a nibble of the shop bought cake as she really didn't like it.

I need to set us some goals. I know she will benefit practically, but also emotionally having my undivided attention.

I've spent £16ish on Amazon this morning stocking up on some work books, I also need to think about some storage solutions/organisation bits to help boost her independence.

Mummy & SC goals:
1) teach her to cook 5 things by the end of the year.Not sure what yet- I think maybe scrambled egg, a basic sponge...ideas welcome.
2) teach SC to use the dishwasher and put her in charge of loading and emptying it.
3) spend 10 mins every day on maths, and 10 mins on English.
4) give SC more responsibility to get her stuff ready for the next day before bed. hang her uniform up, prepare any club kit and hang on her peg etc
5) teach SC to polish her school shoes every weekend.

natsplatnat

There is a list of "Age-Appropriate Chores for Children" that appears on the Montessori Schooling site (I only know this as it was shared on FB the other day). Part of their education focusses on practical life skills.
Might be worth a look? x

Starmummy

Thanks Nat

SC went to a Montessori nursery and it was amazing- since she left I've not been so good at keeping up what they taught her. She is more than capable she just needs to know that I trust her to do it.
I shall google the list now.

Starmummy

I've poured over my spreadsheets again and again and I'm not going to make my target by the end of the year. I'm gutted. It feels like such a weight.
I'm 2500 short, maybe a little less if I can keep my spending in check.
The reason for this is the £1050 the joint account owes me and the £1970 SC dad should have paid me in child maintenance between June and December but probably won't. I've not had anything in months and he has not been in contact much in that time other than a very stealthy pick up and drop off SC's birthday weekend.
I've stopped including CM in my expected income part of my spreadsheet- if I do get anything it's going to be split between savings and debt. I think it's so disgusting how many parents seem totally ok with shirking responsibility- worse are the people that enable it to happen.
The one time I asked his Father to step in and help he told me I needed to grow up and that his son was trying and I needed to give him a break.
We were together 4 years, I didn't trap him. He is now a 30-something Man, not a child. I'll just stop feeding and clothing her until he coughs up yeah? What about me needing a break from having to do bl00dy everything!

enthusiasticsaver

Starmummy wrote: »

It was parent's evening last night.

I am experiencing a touch of the Mum guilt at the moment. I know I'm a good mum and SC is delightful. I'm really proud of her but I think she could really do with a bit of nurturing and me being more present.
She needs quite a bit of help with her spelling and some encouragement with her maths.

I'm also well aware that from a home perspective she is a bit useless too. I've just never had the time to teach her between working full time, studying and spinning all the other plates it's just quicker doing it all myself. But I find she needs me more now at 10 than ever before. She was so upset that I didn't make her cake this year as "it's her favourite thing about her birthday" I felt just rotten. She didn't eat more than a nibble of the shop bought cake as she really didn't like it.

I need to set us some goals. I know she will benefit practically, but also emotionally having my undivided attention.

I've spent £16ish on Amazon this morning stocking up on some work books, I also need to think about some storage solutions/organisation bits to help boost her independence.

Mummy & SC goals:
1) teach her to cook 5 things by the end of the year.Not sure what yet- I think maybe scrambled egg, a basic sponge...ideas welcome.
2) teach SC to use the dishwasher and put her in charge of loading and emptying it.
3) spend 10 mins every day on maths, and 10 mins on English.
4) give SC more responsibility to get her stuff ready for the next day before bed. hang her uniform up, prepare any club kit and hang on her peg etc
5) teach SC to polish her school shoes every weekend.

Some good goals there. The first few things I taught my daughters re cooking wise were pasta dishes (tuna pasta bake, spag bol) pizza (using a ready made pizza base) and as you suggest scrambled eggs, biscuits, Victoria sponge and fairy cakes. Presumably she will be going to secondary school next year so giving her a bit of guidance before she starts is always a good thing and it is something you can do together to start with and as she gets older she can do one meal a week to help you out.

Have you tried the Usborne books for helping with Maths? They have some good games in there to help with that or they used to. My DD1 is a big fan of the Orchard games series and often buys those for her friends children to help with Maths too. All good life skills and good for you to spend time together doing them.

AdventureWanted

Hi,
Has SC ever tried prodigy maths? My DC1 absolutely loves doing his maths practice using this. In it you have a character that you have to complete battles against computer characters - to win the battle you answer maths questions. I'm most probably explaining it really poorly, but my DC1 likes the game feel of it. You can sign up for free (it's called prodigygame - online not an app). Also English wise you can download the doodle English and doodle spell apps and use them daily free. I think you only get a few questions each day for free, but hopefully it'll all help.X

Suffolk_lass

It is a really good idea to have some dedicated time with SC teaching life skills. In terms of what to teach SC at this stage, I turn to the two books I have (I am 61 now!) - my beloved first cookery book (it covered a range of things including cheese on toast but I remember most that it was about making lemonade, cakes, biscuits and peppermint creams ) and my Housecraft book from my first year at senior school.

I started with making a cup of tea (pre T-bags!), boiling an egg (which end to pierce, what impact refrigeration has, what to do if it cracks, how to use a spoon to put it in water and so on) and other menial things that also taught me about balanced meals, vitamins and protein and portions. There is a Delia Smith basic cookery course book that is straightforward and covers lots of the same things. The rest of my first year stuff was about how to clean things, do laundry and iron, starch (yes, really!) and other life skills like changing a fuse and a light bulb, different fittings and so on. Inherent was not overloading electrics and how much energy things use. In today's consumer led society there is a host of useful information that our children would benefit from.

When our DS moved into his first gigs at 20 on his first day his housemates took the mickey because he had never used an electric kettle and did not know how much water to put or how to turn it on (because we have a range with a stove-top kettle). They all shut up when he was the only one who could make lasagne and roast dinners, however!

I still have both books, by the way!