Aligning the Stars

redofromstart

I don't think I said how very much I admire you for not biting his hand off by the way. I like the way you are sticking to principles, and resisting the theoretically easy option :A

I agree with Lucifa, I never do the casual end of smart casual at work. Always dress for the job you want was what I was advised years ago. I also find it helps my head to come home from the usually high stress jobs and get changed out of 'work' clothes,

Starmummy

Morning MSE Diary land.

Yesterday was a long one so no time to check in. It started with a 4am alarm for a 5.30am train to London and my head didn't hit my pillow until 11pm. This has resulted in me waking up with no voice, Star child seemed concerned...Mr Star was amused :rotfl:

Money-wise yesterday wasn't great. But....my thought processes are totally different than 6 months ago and spending no longer sends me into a wild panic...or worse thinking well F*%$ it! i may as well keep spending.
The early train meant buying coffee at the station. I had a 5 meeting and then a couple of hours to kill before my train home, which is dangerous when you're near Spitalfields. I spent about £80 yesterday! :eek:
My spends were a dress, blouse, earrings and a book in Oliver Bonus (in the sale obvs) I topped up on shampoo bars in Lush and treated myself to lunch. So actually that £80 stretched quite far.
I've looked at how it effects my annual spends on stuff and over the past 6 months I've averaged £50 a month on clothes and beauty. I am going to totally accept that as very reasonable. I have to look smart for my job and the clothing items I have purchased are investment pieces.

I still need to live on this journey. My debt free date is still the tail end of next year and that's with increasing my personal spends at the end of this year. It has meant that my spending money for my birthday trip has been effected...but my emergency fund is still in tact. :A
I shall tackle the spending money issue by raiding the "random jar of various currency" - unfortunately this isn't strong on Euro's but I'm laughing if we go to Morocco or Japan again! The second attempt at tackling this is to ask family for Euros for my birthday (it's a milestone birthday so I hope they are fairly generous)

Not discussed money with Mr Star this week as we have both been working long hours and he is away now until Monday. So it's just me and Star Child this weekend.
Plans for tomorrow: SC swimming, then a wonder around town and to the park, might grab some street food off the market (these comes out of joint account spends which Is still very healthy). then home and blitz the house/do laundry/start studying for next exam.
Sunday SC has swimming again and then should be seeing her dad. I have an appointment to get my nails done (treat from friend) so I shall enjoy a few child free hours.

Plans going forward, Stick to budget but make sure I spend conciously, do not deprive myself, do not punish myself, it is OK to not be perfect.

Take care
SM

Starmummy

oh...there is more money news.

When my car passed it's MOT in April (miracle) it had advisory on the breaks. Mr Star has received the money for scrapping his car at last and paid this into our joint account. He says that I should pay for the brakes from the joint account and use this extra boost to contribute given that I am paying the tax and insurance on a car that he is using.

I guess joining finances isn't that scary is it. I'm just being silly. He is a good egg

backandevenmorebroke

Just wanted to pop in and say hello as you'd been kind enough to comment on my diary!

I've had a read of your diary and it sounds like you are doing great. I have a very similar attitude toward debt I've solely accrued and would refuse if someone offered to help but I think that partly comes from being a single parent and seeing it as having to do it all on your own. Fact is you are not alone now and it sounds like your partner has a lovely attitude and genuinely wants to help.

Anyway, best of luck and I've subscribed

Starmummy

Hello again Monday.

Another weekend has passed and another week closer to being debt free.

Turned out to be a bit of a spendy weekend in the joint account. Mr Star has filled the car up while at his mums which means we have spent double this past month on fuel than normal. Should have been expected. We have had three trips of 300-500 miles this month on top of Mr Star's commute to work.

I also spent £60 in TKM4xx on a new duvet and sheets for the guest bedroom, this was needed as the room is used frequently and the old stuff well worn.

I've noticed the grocery spend go up too. We usually spend £300pcm, last month was £360 and this month is already over £200. must try and cook more batches of stuff but we have been so busy lately. I need to meal plan again.
Time to hunker down and concentrate a bit in the coming weeks. We have a wedding to attend at the end of the month but I'd still like enough surplus in the Joint account to get the brakes done on the car and have a blind made for the guest bedroom.

We also want to look into booking a holiday too and there's no surplus for flights yet never mind hotel and spending money. We don't plan on going until November so there's still time.

I need someone to turn up the brightness on my light bulb, I'm still determined to get rid of this debt and welcome £700+ of money each month to save or spend on travel, but I am finding it too easy to justify my spending at the moment. I need to go back to being brutal. No personal spending at all until my trip in 5 1/2 weeks.

Money chat needed when Mr Star is home.

Take care
SM

redofromstart

I love TK Maxx for sneaky bedding purchases, especially the high count Egyptian cotton.

Meal planning is one of those things I know i should do but just can't make work. The closest we get is 'planned protein of the day' so leftover monday/mince tuesday, etc

Starmummy

On another note I'd just like to say thank you for all the advice and support I got regarding borrowing from a partner. It really has helped me to see the emotions from both sides. I can know see the situation in a way I was totally blind to before.

I am so guilty of building walls and staying strong and proving how dependant I am that I've ended up hurting the person closest to me, achieving the complete opposite of what I wanted to achieve.

I'm hoping that by talking more about things, with Mr Star, through counselling, on here, that I can overcome some of these insecurities.

Starmummy

Feeling positive today.

Mr Star is home and we had a nice chat last night, not really about money just about life and where we are going. He came home saying that he had a lovely time with his mum and he really would love to live near her. It is one of my favourite places in the country and close to some fab work prospects. I'd move there in a heartbeat but I want to stay in my current job for another year or two as I'm involved in a few projects that could really make my career. Plus I'll be debt free in that time too.

Then project relocate to the other side of the country can commence.

We need to come up with some plans for the rest of the year. I am the sort of person that needs something to look forward to to help me focus/distract me from exams. After July we have zero plans I don't like it.
We keep mentioning holidays but never settling on anything. I'd feel better if we had at least booked flights.
Will try and get us to agree a plan this weekend.

I also need another physical challenge after my last open water swim thing this weekend...mainly so i don't spend the rest of summer eating my way to a winter body :rotfl:

Starmummy

Well.... the joint account is all but depleted. We have £125 to last us the next 10 days.
Thankfully the car has enough fuel to last the month and I have a food plan for the next couple of days at least. Shall have to meal plan next week and try not to drink my body weight in Gin and my friends wedding next weekend.

It's a sacrifice worth making though, the reason the account is so empty is because we booked flights!!! We are off to Italy the last week of the school holidays. I'm so excited. I've never been to Italy. We are flying into Verona, spending 4 days hiking in the Dolomites and then a few days exploring Verona itself.
As much as a holiday is a massive indulgence WE as a family are very comfortably off and I'm not going to deny Mr Star and Star Child so I can pay my debts off. Plus we always do things frugally. We always travel hand luggage only and budget flights (the flights were £235 for the 3 of us) We won't be staying in a luxury ski resort hotel, rather a self catering apartment type place (not booked yet but looking to be about £60 per night) and possibly an air BnB in Verona. Hiking is free too...although Star Child will need new boots.

I can't wait until my debts are gone so we can do these things more often.

It's our only real luxury.

Take care

SM

redofromstart

That sounds like a lovely break, love hiking in new places.