Advice required - divorce, separation, kids

Comms69

ganderson1804 wrote: »

I also have 3 children - my middle is only a few months older than his cousin!

Crikey stop getting so defensive. If it was her SOA it might help to sort out her financial stuff. It's not, so it's not relevant. I just explained WHY I asked

ganderson1804

Comms69 wrote: »

Crikey stop getting so defensive. If it was her SOA it might help to sort out her financial stuff. It's not, so it's not relevant. I just explained WHY I asked

Genuinely this was not a defensive response and I apologise if you took it that way. I was just stating that I also have 3 children and my son and my niece are only a few months apart in age.

anna_1977

Comms69 wrote: »

Ok, I was just checking as in the post in mentioned 3 kids, including a 2 year old. So it seemed quite coincidental.

i don't think that's true - my ex was giving voluntarily but I still ended up going through CMA as I knew his pay wasn't what he'd told me.

it may have changed since then (3 years ago)

anna_1977

ganderson1804 wrote: »

I think I will just delete this post as i'm not out looking for anyone to counteract everything I am going to say even if it is the case. I don't give 2 craps about the story from his side and am only looking to try and help protect my sister in law and get away from this lunatic. I wasn't posting all the details for someone to go through it wit h a fine tooth comb but looking for genuine advice about what she can do today, now. I have no idea about womans aid / refuge for help / advice, CAB, police, the solicitors role.

She would be a more irresponsible mother to leave her children with him but that is irrelevant. I want to encourage her to not give in to all of his demands as he is controlling her life and her every move. He thinks he's bigger and smarter than her and has every intention of leaving her homeless and penniless and she's scared of his threats.

I would second changing the locks immediately, tell her to keep a full diary of everything he does AND see a solicitor ASAP.

Sorry if you have taken any advice the wrong way. He sounds like a bully and I know it's easier said than done but she needs to stand up to him

Comms69

anna_1977 wrote: »

i don't think that's true - my ex was giving voluntarily but I still ended up going through CMA as I knew his pay wasn't what he'd told me.

it may have changed since then (3 years ago)

Well if he's not paying enough that's one thing. But because collect and pay penalises the payer (and the payee) the CMS must give people the chance to pay voluntarily.

ganderson1804

Can she change the locks on the house? Its his house too? Thank you for your advice guys x

elsien

Comms69 wrote: »

Nor should she, but take it in steps:


1: change the locks
2: keep a diary of events
3: check benefit claims
4: sort out the basics

If the house is in joint names then she can't just change the locks at the moment, as he has as much right to be there as she does. Or if she does, he has the right to get a locksmith to give him access again. She would need to go down the harrassment/injunction route to make him keep away from her/the house.

Comms69

elsien wrote: »

If the house is in joint names then she can't just change the locks at the moment, as he has as much right to be there as she does. Or if she does, he has the right to get a locksmith to give him access again. She would need to go down the harrassment/injunction route to make him keep away from her/the house.

It'd be a shame if she lost a set of keys this afternoon though...

sassyblue

She can certainly ADD an extra lock for her safety but she cannot change them, ultimately your sister needs to see the police and see if she can obtain an injunction against him. He also should never have behaved like that in front of the children.

Also tell your sister not to talk to him about any financial settlement, if they have solicitors they will sort that, she can ask him about payments for bills though in the meantime - if she thinks it will help. However, personally I would block his calls and have arrangements for the children go through an intermediary.

Whoever's name the car is in is the legal owner

purpleheir

Can't you bring this to court?