MMD: Can I spend less on a second wedding gift?

kookaburra

... not a bidding contest.

Do people really waste time estimating how much a giver spent on them? Just get something you think they will enjoy/appreciate, The cost is irrelevant.

:j

onlyroz

I think we should come up with a definitive algorithm for determining how much to spend on a wedding gift. How about:


Cost of gift = ((number of years known + duration of relationship)/(number of previous marriages)) + ((my salary + amount I spend on my wedding outfit)/(travel time to venue + number of days holiday I had to take))

REJP

How much is a friendship worth?
Did he lose the first present in the divorce settlement?
If you can afford to buy a decent present then do so.
If you cannot afford it, tell him. If he is a true friend he will understand.
I always say friendship is worth more than money.

Augustus_the_Strong

Where are these 'rules' set out? Spend what you like.

Bellisima

I think a gift should be something the bride and groom would love, not just a monetary value. Unless your last gift was a cash sum, I doubt anyone will notice it was less. Some of the best gifts dont cost a lot, but mean a lot to the recipient. The gift should be appropriate, and the sum spent should be what you can afford. Inappropriate gifts? My friend received a book of cute pictures of kiddies for her birthday from her mother in law - my friend cannot have children.

Teamjarjar

If he has a party for his 50th birthday, and you get him a great gift, do you then spend less for his 60th??

Im surprised you can even remember what you bought the last time round, I cant remember what I had for breakfast sometimes....

Teamjarjar

Bellisima wrote: »

I think a gift should be something the bride and groom would love, not just a monetary value. Unless your last gift was a cash sum, I doubt anyone will notice it was less. Some of the best gifts dont cost a lot, but mean a lot to the recipient. The gift should be appropriate, and the sum spent should be what you can afford. Inappropriate gifts? My friend received a book of cute pictures of kiddies for her birthday from her mother in law - my friend cannot have children.

I had the same trouble, the apostrophes were causing it! I’ve had to take them out, it makes me feel all funny though haha!

layna1491

The idea of an algorithm is fab and made me smile!
But...
If the person has not previously married, it requires dividing by zero. Ouch.
If the person has married once before, you divide by one so has no effect on the outcome.
Really comes into it's own for those who have multiple previous marriages though.
(Sorry!)

DPS-2016

Yes, you can.

You don't even have to spend a fortune on a 'first wedding' gift if you don't want.

As always, do what you feel comfortable with - no one is ever really fully aware of your situation except yourself!

onlyroz

layna1491 wrote: »

The idea of an algorithm is fab and made me smile!
But...
If the person has not previously married, it requires dividing by zero. Ouch.
If the person has married once before, you divide by one so has no effect on the outcome.
Really comes into it's own for those who have multiple previous marriages though.
(Sorry!)

You are quite right, I need to think this through more. Broadly, we want a ratio with the things that might make you spend more on the top, and the things that might make you spend less on the bottom, multiplied by the average price of a wedding gift. So:


A = the main person in the wedding couple that you know
B = the person they are marrying


Cost of gift = (average price of wedding gift) x (proportion of your life you have known A + proportion of A's life they have known B + ratio of your salary to A's salary + your position in bridal party + distance of your seat from the top table + cost of your meal)/(number of A's previous marriages + travel time to venue + amount of holiday taken for wedding + cost of your outfit + cost of stag or hen do)