Over 40k in debt and ready to ask for help!

Sncjw

Your being abused financially and mentally. He is knowingly abusing you by keeping majority of the money. Plus you say you can only be on here for so long. This says to me he is controlling you.

He can!!!8217;t hide behind the mental health thing because he is knowingly abusing you. Next will come the physical abuse.

Get out of that situation, contact a refuge and open a bank account where you can put your money into.

MalMonroe

Hello, I'm so sorry that you are in this situation and I'm also sorry if some of the replies have upset you, they would have upset me, I have to admit. I have also been in debt, and was worried beyond belief. I can't comment on your relationship, and won't even attempt to. I can tell you that the organisation that helped me was StepChange. I phoned them and to my relief, they said they would help and they do not judge. They are great. Any of the debt agencies are great but I can recommend StepChange, without reservation. They ask that you just have a list of your budget when you phone and you seem to have supplied that already on here. When you are able to, please phone them on 0800 138 1111. They also have a website, just google StepChange. I am sure they will be able to help. You are very brave, you've taken the first - most difficult of all - step to helping yourself. Good luck.

Toni'sfriend

I do hope I haven't upset you. I certainly didn't mean to but I do think you should speak to someone about your relationship with your OH.
Very sound advice from MalMonroe and I agree you have been very brave to take this difficult first step.
I also wish you good luck and I hope you'll keep posting.

bugslet

MalMonroe wrote: »

Hello, I'm so sorry that you are in this situation and I'm also sorry if some of the replies have upset you, they would have upset me, I have to admit. I have also been in debt, and was worried beyond belief. I can't comment on your relationship, and won't even attempt to. I can tell you that the organisation that helped me was StepChange. I phoned them and to my relief, they said they would help and they do not judge. They are great. Any of the debt agencies are great but I can recommend StepChange, without reservation. They ask that you just have a list of your budget when you phone and you seem to have supplied that already on here. When you are able to, please phone them on 0800 138 1111. They also have a website, just google StepChange. I am sure they will be able to help. You are very brave, you've taken the first - most difficult of all - step to helping yourself. Good luck.

Good advice mal, but I do think it's impossible to not mention the relationship issue when it's at the centre of the OP's problems.

No one should have to live in fear and no one should be ( if I understand it correctly) committing fraud to just feed and clothe their children.

OP, please start as Mal says by ringing Stepchange, just that first step will make you feel a little more in control

I really do wish the best for you but without addressing the serious relationship issues, you will find it so very much harder to move forward.

Take care.