father's day

jellyhead

the lightsabres they had in woollies a few years ago made sounds, on contact so hubby said we needed 2 of them they were about £20 each.

my stepfather and FIL are both early 50's, they appreciate being taken to alton towers, they love it i'm sure, they're not just being polite

honey28

I seperated from my husband a couple of months ago and am not sure what to do about Father's Day. My kids are too young to get anything themselves and Im not sure if the eldest will make something in school or not. I'm loate to buy him a present - he left me on Mother's Day and ruined it so I dont see why he should have a good Father's Day :mad:
Any ideas on what i should do would be appreciated?
Thanks

bernardh_2

Woolies have the 1 kg bar of CDM for £3.49 instead of £4.99. Marked `worlds best dad`or sim. And this year you don`t have to buy a card to get the choccie.

Becles

honey28 wrote:

I seperated from my husband a couple of months ago and am not sure what to do about Father's Day. My kids are too young to get anything themselves and Im not sure if the eldest will make something in school or not. I'm loate to buy him a present - he left me on Mother's Day and ruined it so I dont see why he should have a good Father's Day :mad:
Any ideas on what i should do would be appreciated?

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt!

I know exactly how you feel, and you don't see why you should spend money on him.

However, take a step back and look at it from the childrens point of view. He is still their Daddy and hopefully they will still have some sort of relationship with him for the rest of their lives. They should be encouraged to mark the occasion for him. If you snub the day to spite him, you could also damage your childrens relationship with him which they will resent you for in the long run.

Just a token gift will do like the chocolate suggested above, or you can get things like Lynx shower gel and a deodorant in a nice box for a couple of pounds. Get the kids to make a card to save money there.

Mine were 2 and 4 when their Daddy left. I've never bad mouthed him in front of them and always gritted my teeth and been pleasant when we've met him. Over time and as they have matured, my children have learned for themselves what a !!!!!! he is. Deep down they will appreciate whole heartidly everything you are doing for them, but kids being kids, they don't often show it!

ceegee

honey28 wrote:

I seperated from my husband a couple of months ago and am not sure what to do about Father's Day. My kids are too young to get anything themselves and Im not sure if the eldest will make something in school or not. I'm loate to buy him a present - he left me on Mother's Day and ruined it so I dont see why he should have a good Father's Day :mad:
Any ideas on what i should do would be appreciated?
Thanks

Do nothing. If you bought something on their behalf, then it would really be from you. It has to come from them if it is to mean anything. Do the children miss him? I speak from experience....my husband left me and our daughters when they were aged 11 months and 4 years old. I could never bring myself to get something on their behalf saying "to the best Dad in the world". I just couldn't do it. Now the girls are in their teens (always stayed in contact with him) they do their own things for Fathers Day, but I never, ever did anything on their behalf......it would have grated somewhat! This was not out of spite or anything......I took our wedding vows and parenthood seriously and even now, I cannot believe how he could have just walked out on us, our daughters, our home, our life together.Still, we survived (just!)

Generally, I think that the important thing is to let Dads know how much they are loved all year round!

honey28

We are still on (reasonably) good terms. I appreciate that the present is all about the kids.Like you both, i have never said a bad word about him in front of them (its been difficult tho!). My children are 3 and 6. I just can't bring myself to get all the "great dad" stuff, when he hasnt been one - only thinks about himself - the kids are an accessory when he needs them! Maybe I'll take the kids to Woolworths/Tesco and let them pick something cheap and tacky!!

rchddap1

My partners ex wife left him at Xmas (just as bad). But whenever it comes to Xmas, birthday, or mother's day he always make sure that their daughter has got her Mum something. Although they have split their daughter loves them both and she would only end up getting hurt if there were any arguements between Mum & Dad. Whether he likes or dislikes buying ex wife anything isn't the point (of even if she appreciates it or not), their daughter loves doing it.

Usually its grandma (ex wife's mother) who sorts this sort of thing, which does make it easier. Could you do something similar? Perhaps it would be an excuse for 'Grandma' to take the grandkids out shopping. That way the kids & ex partner's family are happy...and you have nothing to do with it.

This sort of thing is going to crop up all the time. What do you do at Xmas for example? If he doesn't appreciate his children then they will pick up on it in time. They may be young, but quite often kids manage to pick up on things pretty quickly.

Bun

You could dispense with the pressie completely and just help the kids make cards for him. Wilkos do the pom pom balls and paper etc very cheaply and it is good fun for you all (plus cheaper than bought cards). Or you could just have them make him something along these lines. Decorate with some snot or dribble if you feel that way inclined!
I had a lovely time doing thank you cards with pom pom animals on with my little boy - he just really did the glueing as he's only one. Then they can either write what they want or you can just put 'Happy Father's Day' on which shouldn't be as irritating as buying a gushy card.

rchddap1

One thing I encouraged my partner's girls to do one year for their Dad is to make a picnic. I made the suggestion...they did the rest. He absolutely loved it. Some of the sandwiches left a lot to be desired, but that's not the point.

I even got a bonus hug and a kiss once we had dropped the girls off at home. He said "I hope you realise how much that meant to me". I couldn't stop smiling.

Not sure what to do this year.....hmmm.....

honey28

Thanks to each of you for the replys and Sorry to the original poster for diverting away from the topic!