Stuck between a rock and a hardplace

lupi

My first post here and was hoping for some advice.

I split with my ex boyfriend last April (best decision of my life he was a nasty mentally abusive man) 10 months after living in a flat we had brought together declaring equal rights to the property.

Dec 2017 we decided through my solicitor (he had decided to consult a friend rather than using a solicitor) on an amount to settle the equity and put the property in my sole name.

Jan 2018 I reapplied and was accepted for my sole mortgage offer for the 2nd time as the previous one I applied for last year timed out as we could not come to an agreement on money, this for me is affordable as is lower than the current mortgage as making an over payment to reduce it.

The problem is when my solicitor sent him the contract in January to sign he decided at that point to get legal representation. I know he is legally entitled to do so but knowing him he is playing mind games.

Since then I have heard nothing. Solictor has chased him and all we are getting back is it is taking longer than expected but he will get back to us and has ignored further emails since. He also stopped contributing to the mortgage in Dec.

I don't know what to do. This is killing me financially (struggling to put food on the table, as I'm using the last of my overdraft to pay for petrol so i can get to work. I can't ask my parents for any more money as they agreed to help me with the new mortgage over payment (15k loan in their name) and have helped with the solicitor fees. Also they have just moved away so my option of sneaking home from work to pinch tins from their cupboards is no longer available.

My plan was to finish the flat with my current boyfriends father who is a tradesman after the contract had been signed. I would then put the flat on the market and use the equity to pay everyone back the money I owed them.

Probably should state at this point I was bullied into signing the 50/50. I put down the entire deposit, paid for all the renovations to date (about 15k) and payed 80% each month towards bills/mortgage etc.

Is there anything I can do to either take him to court (I cannot afford the upfront cost even if I manage to recoup the money) or talk to my bank or I don't know. Considering selling everything that isn't nailed down in the property.

I'm sorry for the long post but feeling pretty low about everything atm. I can't even just sell the property in its current half finished stateas the money 'owed' to him hasn't been finalised. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Comms69

Forcing a sale costs 10s of thousands.


So the best way is to negotiate, even if that means him getting a bit more than hes entitled to

lupi

Yeah this is exactly why I want him removed from the property.

Is there a way I can get him to respond? Or will I just have to wait and see what he is playing at?

Comms69

lupi wrote: »

Yeah this is exactly why I want him removed from the property.

Is there a way I can get him to respond? Or will I just have to wait and see what he is playing at?

Ultimately no. No-one can force him to respond, ever.


these things unfortunately take time to resolve, and as you weren't married are not able to be resolved as part of a divorce.

lupi

thank you

Comms69

lupi wrote: »

thank you

Sorry, but no-one can compel him to either speak or sign - which in the grand scheme is a good thing, as the shoe could be o the other foot

gettingtheresometime

As you can't force him to do something to make things more financial bearable for you, then I think you need to look at things you can do in the meantime


Firstly I would stop the overpayments. Yes to be mortgage free is nice but that's exactly what it is - nice. What is necessary is that you maintain the payments at their minimum level. If you want (but it doesn't sound like you can afford it) put the difference in a savings account (in your sole name) so that when this is all sorted out you can make a lump sum payment.


Secondly is the flat is a condition whereby you could have a lodger?


Thirdly could you not focus your ex's mind by threatening to withdraw the 50/50 offer?

gettingtheresometime

Oh and the other thing - get a proper valuation of the flat NOW....not an EA one but a proper one.


The reason I say this is that if this drags on with the ex not paying his bit of the mortgage, then you'll have a sound basis in months/years to come of the value of the flat at the time he stopped paying towards the mortgage and hence stopped building any equity in the flat

pearl123

The only thing I can suggest is either get a part time job or ask parents for some extra cash until all of this is over.

lupi

thanks Pearl and GTS

I probably should clarify the 10k over payment was part of the 15k loan my parents are holding onto and are currently making the repayments for me. (bringing current mortgage down from 130k to 120k but i can only make this payment once he has signed the contract drafted by my solicitor to remove him from the property rights)

It is a small 1 bedroom flat in Hertfordshire and unfortunately no scope for a lodger (I have asked my boyfriend but he doesn't drive and would cost more to drive him to work everyday as is in a different direction to where i work).

My current work (full time) contract doesn't allow me to take on any additional jobs however I have asked for some overtime but this isn't erm reliable as can come in spits and spats.

I have a current full valuation from 3 separate estate agents( he wanted an average which is fair enough). Scarily it has depreciated by 10k since we started these negotiations and i am worried if this isnt resolved soon it will continue to do so.

He agreed to an amount of 7,500 (valuation 160,000) which I managed to reduce down from 10k. I don't know whether to try and ask him to accept less or whether in the long run this will cost me more as I know he will dispute it.

Thank you for your time taken to make the reponses

gettingtheresometime

It might also be worth posting your budget either here or on the debt free wanabee board to see if people can suggest ways of reducing your outgoings that you might have missed.