What would you do about neighbour I have suspicion

dekaspace

glasgowdan wrote: »

Stop being so nosey. It doesn't matter if they are hiding something from you. They don't have to tell you the ins and outs of their lives. It doesn't have to make sense to you. It doesn't matter if she sidetracks, or changes her story.

The ONLY thing that should concern you is the noise levels... so keep a diary of it, recordings, describe the severity and go to the council. You're not getting anywhere speaking to them so I would stop it.

Im not being nosey, rude attitude there I already said I don't care about her personal situation.


What I care about is the noise, the noise which she is acting like isn't happening and sounds like a portion of it is due to noise, so if you count that as "nosey" then im just wanting the noise to stop/get to a reasonable level if the noise is created by a male, and shes claiming the male doesn't exist in order to act like the noise doesn't exist thats the only way I "care" or am "nosey" I don't care if its a male or female, adult or child or even human noise I notice you didn't mention what I said about the dog, because you can't use that to imply anything.

Please tell me where in your perfect wisdom you get the assumption that I think they should tell me the ins and outs of their life?

So I guess I have to log the barking as "generic noise" or the kids running and laughing as "generic noise" or am I not allowed to be ageist or discriminate against animals?

And by the way I am keeping a diary


EDIT the overall point was by her acting like she has no male guests it feels like she is saying I am in the wrong, even more so than the idea she has something to hide shes just trying to make me challenge my own sanity so to speak, its very unlikely she ever gets a male guest as her friends have partners so it feels she is lying to my face and insulting my intelligence.

Cakeguts

dekaspace wrote: »

Im not being nosey, rude attitude there I already said I don't care about her personal situation.


What I care about is the noise, the noise which she is acting like isn't happening and sounds like a portion of it is due to noise, so if you count that as "nosey" then im just wanting the noise to stop/get to a reasonable level if the noise is created by a male, and shes claiming the male doesn't exist in order to act like the noise doesn't exist thats the only way I "care" or am "nosey" I don't care if its a male or female, adult or child or even human noise I notice you didn't mention what I said about the dog, because you can't use that to imply anything.

Please tell me where in your perfect wisdom you get the assumption that I think they should tell me the ins and outs of their life?

So I guess I have to log the barking as "generic noise" or the kids running and laughing as "generic noise" or am I not allowed to be ageist or discriminate against animals?

And by the way I am keeping a diary


EDIT the overall point was by her acting like she has no male guests it feels like she is saying I am in the wrong, even more so than the idea she has something to hide shes just trying to make me challenge my own sanity so to speak, its very unlikely she ever gets a male guest as her friends have partners so it feels she is lying to my face and insulting my intelligence.

I know that some people tell you things that you know can't be right but I have found over the years that the best thing to do is to just accept it and focus on what you want to do. The not right stuff will come out eventually probably when she least expects it. You don't need to do anything about that.

Focus on what you want. You want whoever lives in that flat to be quieter.

So keep a diary of the noise. If you can hear a dog barking record that and if possible record it with the date that it happened. Try to concentrate on the barking dog as a noise that shouldn't be there rather than the fact that she has got a dog when she shouldn't have.

How she lives her life or how many men she has in the flat is not the important bit. The important bit is how much noise all those people make. Record the noise levels not who is making it.

Davesnave

Got to say, this thread is a credit to most of those who have answered so far. :A

LandyAndy

Davesnave wrote: »

Got to say, this thread is a credit to most of those who have answered so far. :A

There is a reason for that but it would be unwise to explain it.

csgohan4

You can't control your neighbour or her occupants, but you can control what you do about it, reporting it to the council.


Whether she has guests or children or lies to you is none of your concern, it is not illegal to do so is it, but the noise on the other hand?

Comms69

dekaspace wrote: »

Not sure if this is best board but as they are neighbour thought I would give it a try.

In the 14 months I have lived here, have flare ups of very extreme noise, last Easter I politely spoke to neighbour who explained she does shift work, she had a religious festival on and that was why I had 18 HOURS of noise including admitting there was 20 kids in bedroom playing all that time. She told me the regular noise was that she did shift work and her husband babysat the kids she tried shifting the blame and said it was the couple above her that was making the noise, and confusing and contradictory statements admitting guilt then saying it was neighbours or her visitors kids and the "kids will be kids" line

It calmed a little and then over summer near went silent apart from when they came back from day trips for about 15-30 minutes so tolerable.

Escalated again after summer especially at weekends, she ignored me knocking on door until I got council involved a few weeks before Christmas and they posted a letter through her door a few days after New Year, and she came to my door and apologised but then changed her stories, the man she used to claim was her husband now became the "babysitter" and the noise from him was because he is deaf in one ear and speaks loud because of that and walks heavier, and as before blaming neighbours, and her own friends kids, and what sounded like sympathy story telling me she is single mother, and at same time telling me she is "babysitting" a newborn puppy (that just so happened to be given to her Christmas Eve)


All goes quiet for 3 weeks then every night for past 8 days is noisy and she had a birthday party Saturday night that finished at 4.30am, and I hear dog barking a few times over weekend, and what sounds like pacing about and walking into furniture, been in severe stress for past for days and tonight went up to her flat, knocked on door and child voice said something, then when I didn't answer a loud male voice said the same thing (either who is it, or come in)

I go back downstairs and she is walking in as I get to bottom I speak to her and she confuses again shifting blame onto her neighbours, or her friends kids but now saying things like I can't be hearing dog barking, and her babysitter is female, and the screaming I heard multiple times earlier is her female friend who likes to drink heavy (yet shes the babysitter!!) and the male voice I hear is the flat above hers. then backtracking one moment admitting the noise like having a party then claiming that night was working night shift, then admitting party again, then saying night shift.

But hold on when I knocked on her door it was a adult male voice that was behind the door!!!

And the first time I spoke to her she told me she was Italian, 2nd time she said she was Polish, this time she said she was Polish but then in same conversation said she was Italian and now she also says the reason why she still has dog (without me even asking her) is her Polish friend has decided to stay in Poland and not come back, big coincidence!

After she went back in, now its silence as if a miracle and the voices are like whispers!

Am I being treated like a mug?

And either way I am suspicious of the husband/babysitter/invisible man as maybe shes doing some form of benefit fraud?! If so what would you do?!

Its a council property in Scotland by the way, and laminate and pets/dogs are banned.

And if anyone things I am a soft touch, I am a autistic male, with mental health problems and severe anxiety.

I think you need to find somewhere more isolated to live, you're making life as difficult for your neighbours as they are for you

Comms69

deannatrois wrote: »

I know this is in danger of sounding rude, but its probably to avoid suspicious looks from nosey neighbours lol. I know when my ex comes round I am always very very anxious to explain to people who he is and that he doesn't live with me /has his own place to ward off any problems. You don't know the male voice is living there.

I have actually had to tell him to only come round once a week to avoid awkward questions so I now miss out on a lot of company and support (I have no other friends) because I was getting so anxious about it and he doesn't see his son much.

We can't possibly know if the neighbour is lying, just no way to give a helpful response. I certainly wouldn't. It would be irresponsible.

Just FYI it makes no difference if he comes round 1 time or 7 times. the test for him living there isn't the frequency of his visits (nor if he sleeps there)

Norman_Castle

EDIT the overall point was by her acting like she has no male guests it feels like she is saying I am in the wrong, even more so than the idea she has something to hide shes just trying to make me challenge my own sanity so to speak, its very unlikely she ever gets a male guest as her friends have partners so it feels she is lying to my face and insulting my intelligence.

If she is lying to you its because you've asked questions she doesn't want to give honest answers to, not to trick you or question your intelligence. I suspect she would prefer you didn't ask.
If noise is a problem and she is breaking benefit or housing rules she is likely to be quieter to prevent further problems.
I've had benefit fraud neighbours and neighbours growing cannabis, doubtful they would admit to me what they were doing. Some people have secrets, don't be insulted if they don't share them with you.

Norman_Castle

deannatrois wrote: »

I know when my ex comes round I am always very very anxious to explain to people who he is and that he doesn't live with me /has his own place to ward off any problems.

I have actually had to tell him to only come round once a week to avoid awkward questions so I now miss out on a lot of company and support (I have no other friends) because I was getting so anxious about it and he doesn't see his son much.

Are you worried about benefit agencies or landlords assuming he is living there? There is no reason he cannot visit every day. If you're still unsure explain your worries to whoever you are concerned about and ask how often he can visit.

glasgowdan

I apologise for choice of words ... i did edit it as soon as i typed it as you can see. But i don't know you or why you have tried to make the neighbours private life your knowledge. I would really not approach her again and keep things official.