due diligence a bit too late perhaps - new bathroom

VfM4meplse

A sage lesson: always trust your instincts.

aah

Why do you suggest I would have got his back up.
I was at pains to make sure the email was polite and professional.

Take your own advice, theres a way of doing things that doesnt get peoples backs up, but its done now

happyandcontented

aah wrote: »

Why do you suggest I would have got his back up.
I was at pains to make sure the email was polite and professional.

Take your own advice, theres a way of doing things that doesnt get peoples backs up, but its done now

By mentioning the internet searches you have told him obliquely that you mistrust him.....

Better to just have done nothing at this point, got the 2k initial fittings onsite and then entered into dialogue with him.

Doozergirl

aah wrote: »

Why do you suggest I would have got his back up.
I was at pains to make sure the email was polite and professional.

Take your own advice, theres a way of doing things that doesnt get peoples backs up, but its done now

What I said is a little bit different to writing an email to someone who has £2,000 of your money directly pointing out that you think they're untrustworthy, no matter how politely you think put it.

If what I say gets your back up, then it’s your problem, I wasn’t rude but I don’t need to keep you on side either - you don’t have any of my money!

It would be quite normal to simply say something along the lines of “I hope you don’t mind, but £4,000 is a lot to pay without having anything on site and work started. I’m happy to pay for all the materials in full via bank transfer as soon as they arrive on site.”

It’s a reasonable request, worded entirely positively and doesn’t alert them to the fact that you might be suspicious, just that you are protecting your own interests. What is the point of pointing out that you’ve suddenyl decided to do research and he’s been naughty? It’s embarassing. When people are embarassed, they don’t generally respond well.

I have done it very recently with a company that went bump owing us £1,600. That money has to be written off but the same people (under their new company) had to finish the job as the product was unique and half installed. It would have cost us even more to rip out what had been done and start again. In that situation, they pretty much had us over a barrel. I simply asked to pay the second deposit as soon as the engineers arrived on site rather than 48 hours before. The only mention of the collapse was ‘in the light of what has happened’ because it was already out in the open - I didn’t seek to embarass them into doing what I wanted.

aah

well the benefit of your advice might have been better in advance rather than castigating me for doing it differently

you achieved the same effect with me as you caution me not to have achieved with him

Doozergirl

aah wrote: »

well the benefit of your advice might have been better in advance rather than castigating me for doing it differently

you achieved the same effect with me as you caution me not to have achieved with him

Indeed, the benefit of my advice did come before. I refer you post number 6 which contained no negative language and was a positive way of geting you out of a sticky situation that you put yourself into.

You’re upset with me for pointing out what should be obvious - keep your friends close and your enemies closer. So if my point is made and I’ve upset you, then regardless of whether I’ve upset you, it still makes me right about how you should have approached it. You were embarassed by my simple comment, now referred to as a ‘castigation’ and reacted badly. What do you expect from him when you provide an accusation of dishonesty and criminality? Your sanitaryware delivered before you pay what was agreed to be paid before delivery along with with a bunch of flowers?

That guy has a piece of paper issued to you where you are informed that you need pay up front. You are on the back foot, you need to behave in such a manner that you regain some control in the relationship without upsetting him.

Aylesbury_Duck

Doozergirl wrote: »

Indeed, the benefit of my advice did come before. I refer you post number 6 which contained no negative language and was a positive way of geting you out of a sticky situation that you put yourself into.

You’re upset with me for pointing out what should be obvious - keep your friends close and your enemies closer. So if my point is made and I’ve upset you, then regardless of whether I’ve upset you, it still makes me right about how you should have approached it. You were embarassed by my simple comment, now referred to as a ‘castigation’ and reacted badly. What do you expect from him when you provide an accusation of dishonesty and criminality? Your sanitaryware delivered before you pay what was agreed to be paid before delivery along with with a bunch of flowers?

That guy has a piece of paper issued to you where you are informed that you need pay up front. You are on the back foot, you need to behave in such a manner that you regain some control in the relationship without upsetting him.

Absolutely bang on the money.

aah

Bowing out. Had hoped for some help but nothing new here

was reluctant to post as in my experience along with occasional good advice this forum is full of know alls waiting to catch people out - once again should have listened to my instincts

Doozergirl

Good luck with your bathroom guy if you can’t cope with me?!

SuzieSue

aah wrote: »

Bowing out. Had hoped for some help but nothing new here

was reluctant to post as in my experience along with occasional good advice this forum is full of know alls waiting to catch people out - once again should have listened to my instincts

Wow. Unbelievable.