Gambling husband - mortgage application

ellie101

I know you're asking about the mortgage application.. but would really take the advice of others to speak to gambling charities.

My father had addictions (including gambling). He cashed in life insurance before he died and left my mother with nothing. We kept the house but it was such as slog. My mum had no idea.

Even if you have a quick chat to see how to protect yourself? Good luck.

gycraig_2

I don’t get how it’s a gambling “problem” if he’s 7k up. If he’s simply gambling winnings it’s possible he’s just having fun.

csgohan4

gycraig wrote: »

I don’t get how it’s a gambling “problem” if he’s 7k up. If he’s simply gambling winnings it’s possible he’s just having fun.

Lenders don't see it that way and nor should you. I doubt you would think this way if he was 7 k down. You easily lose money than win it.

Candyapple

I don’t understand this. You’re on here asking about will any of this affect a mortgage application. Why would you want to embroil yourself further with someone who could risk your home? You are already financially linked due to having a joint bank account, what would you have done if you had deposited the entire £60k in there and he had gambled it all and then when he was chasing his losses and to keep up appearances asked the bank for a large overdraft and also a loan and gambled that too? So not only would you have lost your deposit money, you’d also be liable and in debt for £20k on top.

You’ve even said yourself that he has been gambling since at least the beginning of last year and no signs of stopping. I’ve read the horror stories on these boards from women whose husbands have gambled themselves into massive debts, losing jobs, filing for bankruptcy and losing their homes. I’ve also read stories about women finding out that their husband whilst in the throes of chasing their losses have taken out loans and even credit cards in their wife’s name to use when they could no longer get credit themselves. So not only have they trashed their credit histories, they’ve ruined their wife’s too. Do you want to be that woman? You are heading down the same road.....

Andrucy wrote: »

He promised never to do it again.

It transpired he had been gambling again. I immediately took the remaining money out of the account.

I'm deeply disappointed and hurt about all of this. He has been endlessly lying to me and hiding things, and I'm concerned that he will keep doing it.

His word clearly means nothing. This man has zero respect for you. Wake up woman! You have been given a clear red flag warning of what is to come. What you need to do is close your joint bank account and then check all 3 credit reference agencies to make sure he hasn’t taken out any loans or cards in your name or joint loans either.

The free versions to check your credit files are below:
Experian: https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/creditclub
Equifax: https://www.clearscore.com
Call Credit: https://www.noddle.co.uk

Then you need to confront him with the truth that you know he’s been gambling since January 2017 and he is still gambling despite him saying otherwise. Then you need to ask him to seek help. If he refuses then you may as well start divorce proceedings now, yes it is that serious. Unless of course you are a mug and want to be walked all over. If he seeks help for his addiction then he needs to work on building back up the trust he has lost. Full transparency, what he earns and where it goes, even if that means he has to show you his bank statements every month. Then after 6-12 months of this, you might want to consider if you can trust him again not to relapse based on his behaviour and then and only then look into buying a house together. That would be your judgement call.

Personally I think when the trust has gone, the relationship is dead. I most definitely would not want to be thinking about if I was going to get a letter through the door one day about hidden debts or finding out that I was going to lose my home and not being able to fully trust my husband to not gamble the family finances away behind my back.