Gambling husband - mortgage application

Andrucy

Hello

I am just at the stage where I can afford to buy a house with my husband.

We have a £60,000 deposit after saving up for 3 years. A lot of the money has come from our wedding, some inheritance money, and from my own savings, as I earn quite a bit more than him.

He works in a restaurant so a fair amount of his salary comes from tips, so may not even appear on his payslips. We've often had issues with money because sometimes it seems like his money is disappearing somewhere. Then in November, he suddenly told me he had won £6,000 gambling. He promised never to do it again.

We had recently opened a joint account and put some of our savings in there (only around £3,000). I check my accounts quite regularly, and in December noticed that £300 had gone missing from the joint account (£100, then £50, then £150). It transpired he had been gambling again. I immediately took the remaining money out of the account.

On a detailed review of his own bank statements, I have now discovered that since January 2017 at least, he has been making £100s cash withdrawals every month. In November, when he had the big win, he had spent around £3,000 in total, with £10,000 gains. In December he had again spent £100s.

I'm deeply disappointed and hurt about all of this. He has been endlessly lying to me and hiding things, and I'm concerned that he will keep doing it.

Asides from the emotional side to this issue, as well as the knowledge that he can't seem to stop, how is this going to affect my mortgage application, and is there a way to clear it? I've read that 3 - 6 month clean bank statements would do, is that true? Would a mortgage application be rejected at present? Should I even discuss any of this with a mortgage broker or keep quiet?

Really stressed about all this and would appreciate any advice.

Thanks

minimike2

Not trying to judge, but shouldn't the first question be if it is right to look to buy a property just now whilst your husband is dealing with a gambling addiction?

Maybe look to get him help from a gambling charity to work on that so that you can go into the purchase of your new home with a hopefully clean slate? You don't want anything to put your home at risk once you move in.

Andrucy

Hi Mike

I understand your point and agree with you. I just want to know if the application would automatically be rejected now, and if so, how long it would take to be in the clear? Do you have any advice on that?

Thanks

minimike2

It depends on the lender but it is possible to still get a mortgage. If you are wanting to go ahead with an application then you will need to seek the advice of a broker for sure.

Money_maker

Andrucy wrote: »

I'm deeply disappointed and hurt about all of this. He has been endlessly lying to me and hiding things, and I'm concerned that he will keep doing it.

Sorry, but unless he addresses the issue then yes, he will keep doing it. I know someone who had a rotten life married to a gambler, she always said she wished she'd left him. It will always be one big lie which is unacceptable to most people.

amnblog

You can use a Lender that does not ask for Bank Statements.

That does not prevent your husband's habit bringing down the whole pack of cards later however.

csgohan4

OP you cannot ignore the gambling issue, the lender may pick up on this regular occurrence. As Amnblog mentions, if he gets in trouble, he has a long way to fall. It will affect you as well

Get some advice from the gambling charities and get him to seek help. It really isn't worth it

Edtough

Andrucy wrote: »

In November, when he had the big win, he had spent around £3,000 in total, with £10,000 gains.

Hang on, is this even a problem? He's £7000 up according to my calculations on what you've said above; good on him.

csgohan4

Edtough wrote: »

Hang on, is this even a problem? He's £7000 up according to my calculations on what you've said above; good on him.

That's what gambling does, it gives you a false sense of security and luck. You could be easily 7k down as well, because your constantly trying to win back what you lost.


I take it you don't gamble much? Nationally lottery doesn't count in this case


I played poker once and played until 6am before I realised this was stupid, and that was a single player simulation game thankfully.

Thrugelmir

Andrucy wrote: »

I understand your point and agree with you. I just want to know if the application would automatically be rejected now, and if so, how long it would take to be in the clear? Do you have any advice on that?

Any possibility that he is hiding other financial matters from you? That may be disclosed by a potential lenders enquiries.

MysteryMe

In your shoes I'd be buying the house once I'd ditched the deceitful loser in my life.