How do you get over it?

threeofus

yes I know, going to get the paint brushes out next weekend, its hard but I have to get on with it, just so angry that it's happened

FlowerGirl27

I thought HMRC had petitioned for his bankruptcy, he didn’t choose to do this ?

threeofus

He didn’t pay the tax he should have and made no effort to contact them to sort out the mess, he was offered IVAs but just buried his head in the sand, it’s been a really difficult time for us all

silvercar

Last we heard from you, Brightonbelle, was that you were hoping to raise the mortgage to pay the trustee your OH's share of the equity. In fact you had cleared arrears on the mortgage in the hope the lender would treat you favourably. Has the lender definitely ruled this out?

Also you were temporarily separated. Is there any way you can work this out together? After all it must be cheaper to live as one until rather than two. I realise this debt problem is a big barrier, but would you be able to work together going forward?

maxmycardagain

silvercar wrote: »

After all it must be cheaper to live as one until rather than two. I realise this debt problem is a big barrier, but would you be able to work together going forward?

Live together?

If I had to live with my ex id have throttled her by now

threeofus

It's more than bankruptcy although that's been the proverbial straw that broke the camels back, I bore the brunt of his stress for years sadly and couldn't live like that anymore, nor could the children. We all want a calm peaceful life, not one filled with anger, stress and dread x we will get there, although I am now in a very precarious position financially and yes it would be easier to do it together but I wouldn't be happy and can never forgive this.

FlowerGirl27

I hope you get plenty of viewings and lots of offers quickly as no doubt the Trustee will want to get this sold and dealt with quickly now. Is it on the market already? I keep seeing adverts for estate agents who do not charge commission so they might save you a chunk of money?

threeofus

No not on the market yet as I have decorate, fix and tidy up, I have to get maximum money now and want a decent amount to set myself and the children up for the future, i might try Purple Bricks or someone as yes that's a good idea but he will have to pay for the sale and legal fees surely??? That's pretty unfair if the expect me too, the flats next door are up for sale so it might take time, but I will not accept anything other than a decent offer, so will feel in control if I do this myself and have to hope for a quick sale, or at least one that is hassle free, ideally being sorted by the summer. It's a nightmare and bankruptcy is without doubt a horrendous thing x a clean start, fresh slate, I don't think so. I would never, ever, say to anyone it's a good thing

FlowerGirl27

I would think the trustee would be ok with splitting the selling and legal costs as that would just come out of the sale proceeds first, wouldn’t it? I know they have a duty to maximise realisations, but I don’t know if they would expect you to pay all of the selling and all of the legal fees.
Bankruptcy does provide a way for people who are too far in debt to be able to get it off their backs and start again, there just isn’t the stigma there used to be about it all.

silvercar

You've changed your user name or is there someone else with a similar story?