How do you get over it?

threeofus

Oh well despite my best efforts looks like I have no option but to sell my home, I have no idea how I will ever get over it, has anyone been through similar? I am devastated, and feel like my world is in chaos, obviously my marriage has broken down as a result, because of this and also his appalling behavior, so my life is really stressful as you can imagine.

My ex made the decision to go to bankrupt, without discussion,
and because of this ill informed choice our lives have been torn apart to make things worse he lied to me about being able to save our home.

I'm not sure what the next stage is but will have to agree to a sale and hope to god I can find somewhere nearby in budget to buy as renting is not an option - it costs more than paying a mortgage -
albeit we will have to look at a much smaller property, at least its something I guess. The mortgage company have said the mortgage we had as a couple is portable thank goodness, and I can do a transfer of equity once the house is sold. I assume all the costs of the sale are taken from the trustees share, it will cost me a fortune to move and I need to protect all the equity as it's all I have, although ex seems to think he will take claim on some of it as he paid the mortgage whilst I the bills - bloody cheek :-) . Can someone advise what the procedure is? I'm terrified we will end up homeless as one thing mentioned is vacant possession - how can they do this, surely they can not make children homeless?

TheGardener

Take a deep breath - tell yourself repeatedly that you and your family a healthy (I hope everyone is) and remind yourself that your life is now under your control and take some ownership of the future rather than letting yourself get eaten up from the inside by the poison of bitterness and regret of the past :A
Get some legal help with dealing with the ex.
You have to remember that most people on this forum are given new life and saved from desperate circumstances by BR.

theroamingnomad

I'm so sorry that you're in this situation...

Like above, get some good legal advice and go from there

maxmycardagain

1. Change your name to Elsa

2. Let it go

His power is gone

maxmycardagain

Equity is the key here, and who can buy his share once hes bankrupt, he might get a shock once bankrupt with what the IS actually do.

If your a joint mortgage holder can he force a sale?

ACG

If it helps, I have a relative who went bankrupt, lost her business, home and husband.

She now has a new home (albeit rented), a new job and is actually really happy. She goes out with her friends a lot more, goes on more holidays than before and is living the life. It probably takes some adjustment, but imagine being 20 again and being able to come and go as you please. Actually, I might get rid of my Mrs :P

threeofus

I can't raise the equity, so have to agree to a sale but will have the equity to try and put it towards another property, if I can find one in budget. if i don't agree it will be subject to a possession order and vacate the property with nothing and the house selling empty for a much cheaper price.

An absolute nightmare, bankruptcy has lead to these desperate circumstances, and has caused so much unnecessary stress if only I'd know about the choices my ex made to walk away from his debts I would have made sure this didn't happen thats for sure!,

maxmycardagain

How long has your Ex been discharged? the IS may still take a look at his share of the equity to confirm the figures they worked on for his BR

Wouldnt it be sad if the IS wanted his share now...

threeofus

Sadly @maxmycard they do want it now, hence having to sell. My poor girls are so upset at having to move, seems so unfair that he’s left us in the position

maxmycardagain

brightonbelle wrote: »

Sadly @maxmycard they do want it now, hence having to sell. My poor girls are so upset at having to move, seems so unfair that he’s left us in the position

hold it...

you have children?

i believe a court can order a AP to maintain a roof over thier heads till the youngest is 16

maxmycardagain

as a non-BR joint mortgagee with children, you have more say in the sale than your ex