Divorce & Right to Buy

MightyMousesMum

Quote:
Originally Posted by MightyMousesMum View Post
Yes he can afford it - he earns a lot more than me. A lot more, and doesn't pay towards the upkeep of our son. - Well then you need to use the CMS and get child support payments.

Yes I know, that is ongoing, it doesn't mean he is paying anything in the meantime.

And OK, you don't like the word "earned", let's change it to "entitled". I was entitled to the discount as I had been a tenant for 20 years. He was not entitled to the discount as he had been living with his mum. I don't make the rules up - the council offered me £30K discount, I would be an idiot not to take it. View that with controversy if you will, I didn't work hard to get it, but I got it as I was entitled to it. - Yes and then you CHOSE to buy with him, and then subsequently CHOSE to get married. Why do you think you're entitled to ignore 12 years of marriage? I'm sure if he earns 'A lot more' than you, there could be an argument he's contributed a lot more to the house than you have.

There is no argument that he paid more into the house, he did not. He paid his half of the mortgage and not much else. I have paid for improvements, I have paid for most of the utilities, I have paid for most of our sons upkeep. HE spends his money on designer clothes, alcohol and chasing women. Hence the soon to be ex.

My needs are greater because I am bringing up our son. He isn't. - Well your sons needs are greater. And those needs DO NOT mean that a home must be owned.

Correct, my sons needs are greater and the home doesn't have to be owned, but my current mortgage repayments are just £150 per month. If I took over the whole mortgage it would be £300 per month. If I had to sell our home and find a house to rent, I am looking at a minimum of £400 per month rent and that would be in a crappy area. I would much rather keep my home, re-mortgage if I have to pay him off and try and stay within my means. I would rather not end up in the Debt free wannabe forum, thanks.

I didn't come here to be berated for being a social housing stealing scrounger, hell bent on draining my ex dry. - I didn't call you that. I couldn't care less what you do. I'm saying that marriage is an equal partnership, you're married, you don't get to forget about it to suit yourself.
I agree, marriage is equal. Or it should be.

I came on here for help because I hoped that there would be a way I could afford to keep my home for myself and our son and the only way I could see how was if I get to keep the equity which equates to the discount I was entitled to. If that is not the case, thanks, duly noted.


You can keep the home by buying him out. If you aren't able to do that than unfortunately you may have to sell (though it may be down the line, not immediately). That, I can live with.

MightyMousesMum

Gavin83 wrote: »

Why isn't your husband paying you child support? I know you've used the word 'our' but I'll check anyway, I assume he's the legal father? How old is the child?

A judge may well decide you are entitled to stay in the house until your child is older but at some point it's likely it'll have to be sold. Your husband is entitled to his share after all and the discount won't be considered.

I'm also assuming you'll be able to afford the mortgage payments on your own?

He isn't paying anything for our son because he is (excuse my language) an awkward, selfish !!!!. He also has another son from a previous relationship that he has never seen. He pays a small amount for maintenance and denies earning anything near what he actually earns to keep the payments small.

I can afford the mortgage on my own it is a small mortgage because of the RTB discount when buying the house.

Tabbytabitha

MightyMousesMum wrote: »

We have been married for 5 years - when I was offered the RTB discount, I was buying in my own name, but he wanted to be on the title as he wanted to move in with me, and I agreed. Now I can't afford to buy anywhere else if he gets 50% of all of the equity as he is getting the £30K discount that I earned.

You didn't "earn" any discount - it was a gift to you both from the taxpayers.

nicechap

Frankly I'm struggling to believe your argument on this £30k.

If he had won £30k on the lottery before you married and kept it in a separate account for a rainy day, would you want half of it on divorce?

Assets are pooled when you marry.

If he earns a lot, you should be looking at his pension too, and he, yours.

Caroline_a

I think you need to forget the "earned" £30k, it's not relevant. You need to work towards a financial settlement, probably with the help of a solicitor, as it sounds as if your husband won't play ball.

That means that everything, including pensions, savings, shares etc will go into the pot as well as the house equity and the courts will decide on proportions and how they are to be paid out. There are a lot of people out there who will give you'helpful' advice, but really it's all about what the courts decide.

CMS is a good start, but you do need to speak to a solicitor about this to get it all done and dusted.

Ames

The equity in the house is a marital asset, so is anything in his name - savings, pension etc. He'll also have to pay maintenance.

Everything has to be shared out.

MightyMousesMum

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

You didn't "earn" any discount - it was a gift to you both from the taxpayers.

Don't be bitter or blame me for taking up the offer, blame the government, it's their scheme to throw away social housing and then moan that there is a shortage of housing.

I spoke to my Lender, apparently their paperwork reflects that the £30K discount was accepted as a "deposit" paid by me.

nicechap

MightyMousesMum wrote: »

Don't be bitter or blame me for taking up the offer, blame the government, it's their scheme to throw away social housing and then moan that there is a shortage of housing.

I spoke to my Lender, apparently their paperwork reflects that the £30K discount was accepted as a "deposit" paid by me.

Which means its an asset to be split according to the court's determination. The same as if your ex had assets at the start of the marriage.

Spendless

A 50/50 split is usually the starting point. Then it is adjusted for various things such as pensions, earning power, if one is restricted in their work due to having child and so on.

Please seek some professional advice.

ska_lover

OP I do get where you are coming from and how hurt you must be by your marriage breakdown. There is a lot of misquoting and baiting going on, on this thread and I have reported the worst

You building up the discount is, in my opinion, in essence, you putting in a £30k discount of your own money , in your shoes I would feel like that. You agreed to a life with him and he paid you back by going off with other women completely throwing in your face, your entire relationship and trust.

Whether this is 30k cash, or 30K worth of discount, the discount happened because of you - why should it not be protected, I mean if a person pays all of a deposit in cash, they can have a clause to this effect I understand

Your husband has since paid nothing but his half of the mortgage and paid nothing towards any improvements and has turned out to be a womanising pig, and you left with a broken heart and your life in ruins and a kid to raise

I would pursue this if I were you. I am sure it is not the first time this issue has come up in the divorce courts. The council records will show it was your name alone on the rent book and where the payments were coming from. Obviously there is no guarantee that it wil swing in your favour but this man sounds a nasty piece of work and has not played fair with you, or your child and I would be inclined to look after myself and my child, and not be concerned about where he will be living, he can go and live with one of is women

Your best play would be to buy him out I think, whether it is at a reduced rate or 50 per cent if it comes to it