Sunken's attempt to float...

Sunkencosts

So started to pull the credit cards together yesterday and was a bit shocked when I pulled the statement out for one to see that my OH had spent on it the other day. I knew he was getting himself and our lad something to eat before a big football game, but he’d spent nearly £40 on a pub meal for them both (son is under 9)!

IN truth I got a bit arsey. I’ve been scrimping and saving on pennies here and there for the last few weeks, and he’s been saying that he’s doing the same and yet that! I explained how I felt, and he apologised. He then started to offer a defence, saying that if they didn’t park in that pub they’d have to pay £7 parking anyway etc etc. But eventually he realised that it was a bit of a lame defence. I’d honestly expected him to get our son a happy meals from McDonalds. I’d LOVE a posh pub dinner at the moment but it’s not on the cards!

We talked some more, and I explained we would always be able to come up with an excuse to spend money. We’re experts at justifying it to ourselves that somehow we’re saving money by spending (Drop a grand on Top of the range camping equipment? Think of the savings on future holidays!) But so often it’s a false economy for us, hence our debt level rivalling that of a small nation.

It’s too easy for him (and me) to use cards and not really notice it. We have to be so much clearer on budgets and use cash for days out so that when it’s gone it’s gone.
I felt really let down and I think he understood that I don’t want to police his spends but we need to be on the same page. I think he then tried to make up for it but suggesting we don’t have any holiday at all this year if we’re meant to be saving etc – but I pointed out that we’re going to need to scrimp for a few years, and part of that will be learning to save for things and live within a budget, not just exist. A couple of weekends camping which we’ve saved for are perfectly reasonable.

In good news, I think the credit card transfers will go through today or tomorrow. Still really impressed with the 0% fee for that – genuinely never seen that offer before. Because of our overspends this month there’ll still be a couple of hundred or so left on Virgin, so we can make our last payment to them this month and then aim to pay what’s left from £500 onto the new card.

The credit card debt and any savings will be my focus. The rest are fixed loans, so it’s just a case of plodding on with them. But once the cc debt is gone Shawbrook loan will be next in my targets!!

Husband’s new wage slip has been generated and after tax, pension and childcare vouchers he will be bringing home a round £2500 which will be great. That just about covers our budgeted living expenses and savings, so it will be left to how much I can bring in to how much we can reduce debt by each month. As I’ve said, my payslips continue to be a work of fantasy dreamed up by the payroll dept, but these should settle down in a couple of months I hope!

Still 6 days til I get paid from main job. Ridiculous month.
Although, I think this month is the month we get 2 lots of child benefit (anyone else’s mum used to call this the family allowance?) Just off to plot where to put that!

Sunkencosts

Have also cancelled my Amazon Prime membership (did I even include that in my SOA?) Another false economy. Just makes it too easy for me to shop online and also not shop around for the best bargain. I’ll have to be more organised with planning presents/ school costumes in future. We have Netflix and spotify, so that’s film and music covered.

Sunkencosts

Although have just realise d that my sister will be miffed as she regularly takes full advantage of it.

No wonder she has more money than me!

Bigskies

We’ve just cancelled Prime too, as you say, far too easy to browse and buy random stuff.
And yes, we get two lots of Child Benefit -woohoo! It’s made this months budget slightly less tight.

elly68

hi sunken its a long road but will be worth it following your journey ,you might want to look at itison or groupon for cottage deal can work out just as cheap as camping . we have stopped going to pub 4 weekends out of four and doing one night dbb in hotel through these two as treat saving 3/4 of our entertainment budget but still having something to look forward to including a bit of romance .
good luck

[Deleted User]

Hi SC,

You're doing really well, I hate January too as even though it is a shortish month it still seems such a long one.

Have a great day xx

Sunkencosts

Thanks guys. Yes treats will be few and far between this year, and all the more precious for that.

January can really leave now! There's a gap of 40 days between my December and January payday and it's feeling pretty painful.
Need to learn this lesson for next year!

Sunkencosts

A bit of an expensive weekend this weekend as we are having people over for a dinner party tonight. OH has spent 80 already on food and drink and realistically we’re looking at at least another 20. Also I need to buy new placemats and some new dishes – will be going to B & M for these.

However, we’ve been planning this for months (obviously not saving for it!) and there is very little else on the horizon for the coming month so it should be ok. My OH used to be a fine dining chef and relishes the chance to show off his skills. And as he prepares, cleans for it and tidies away afterwards who am I to complain?!

A small amount of tension with OH. He’s really on board with the debt reduction, and has been religiously collecting receipts and telling/checking with me what he’s buying, and that’s sort of where the problem is. He keeps asking if he can buy something – which is better than not asking, but I don’t want to be the one in charge of the debt reduction and spending decisions – what I’d prefer is if he said “I think we need x, I think we could take it out of x budget” and then checked what I thought. Maybe I’m being too picky?

When I get a bit annoyed with it he then points out that he doesn’t know how to access the online banks etc - which is a poor excuse for a grown up really. So when I’ve sorted everything out – the Envelopes in which each account papers are kept can have the online login details written on them. Yes, a gift for a burglar but I’ll take that risk.

I’m hoping that when I get paid on Wednesday I can make all the payments needed, and then it’s clear that whatever is left in current account is for food and fuel and discretionary spends for the month. This will help to guide both our choices. That’s the plan anyway!

Have a birthday party to go to today – it’s for my Godson so I can’t skimp on the present really but hey, we’ve budgeted £30 a month and there will be no one else’s birthday this month (that I can remember now anyway!) so that should be fine.

Bigskies

It’s hard isn’t it when you have to make all the decisions? Same in this house, but then it was mainly my spending that got us in the pickle...I’d say to hubby “fancy a holiday to (insert expensive location)” and he’d say “yeah, go on then”. I’d know we didn’t have the money, but as I was feeling low would just say sod it and book. Now, fifteen years and sixty odd grand later we’re trying to pay it off! But if I died, hubby would not have a clue what bills go out, how to access the bank accounts, who our utility providers are, who the insurance is with or anything. I do appreciate it’s easier if one person has an overview, and I do now know to the penny what it in the account, but it isn’t great when we’ve blown the food budget for the month and he gets a Subway or Starbucks.

Sunkencosts

So hacked off right now.

Payday, and I was expecting a healthy amount as they messed up my pay last month and underpaid me by 24 hours. Well, now make that a running total of 48 hours they haven’t paid me!

Haven’t got my payslip yet, so can’t quite see what has happened, but seem to have been underpaid by around £500.

Need to see my payslip before I call my boss (not in work today) but am so angry. We NEED that money to live. I have given up my other jobs to take on more work for this employer.

Genuinely, if they can’t fix this with a BACS payment I will need to leave the company and pick up other work with another employer straight away. I can’t be fobbed off again with a “we will fix this next month”.

My father in law already bailed us out when the first two payslips came in on emergency tax I can’t ask for any more money.
I will use the money I HAVE been paid to try and make the books balance a bit. But yesterday I was feeling so proud that we had managed to squirrel away about £300 savings for various things – don’t want to have to immediately bring them out to cover food and fuel!

Grrrrr.

Ok, perhaps a reflection of some good things is in order to help calm me down:

This January I have
Not drunk alcohol at all
Low carbed every day except one
Attended 6/7 martial arts lessons
Not bought ANY new clothes
Done 13 hours private work billed @£20 an hour

Haven’t weighed myself because scales phobia, but my clothes are fitting a bit better – my skin is good and I am sleeping quite well at the moment.