Family Issues - Alcoholism

Red-Squirrel_2

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

it is worth noting that some employers will have a policy to support staff with addiction issues, IF they are willing to face them. Equally, some have clear policies about use of alcohol / drugs which may affect performance.

Every employer that provides care to vulnerable people should have a policy about protecting their clients/services users though.

Pollycat

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

If you are worried that she may be a risk to the people she cares for, i’m afraid you have to contact her employers and tell them your concerns.

In terms of helping your aunt, it’s harder, I think all you can do is tell that as soon as she wants your support you will be there to give it.

suki1964 wrote: »

You can't help her, she and her OH are in denial

What you can do is protect your children and stop letting her care for them.

+1 to both the bits in bold.

Why would you allow someone who is drinking to excess be be in charge of your children (regardless of the family connection)?

How would you feel if something serious happened to one of the disabled people your Aunt is supposed to be caring for because she was drunk?
You've already said she's been drunk at work.

Even if your Aunt is not ready to admit her drinking problem (and until she does there is little you can do to help) there are other people who need and deserve to be protected from her.

pearl123

I think a sit down talk with the Uncle could be a good way to start especially if he has had drinking problems but is now clean. He needs to understand that he is enabling the behavior.
If you can get him on your side then perhaps a sit down talk altogether might work.

enthusiasticsaver

You should initially make other arrangements for your boys. If your Aunt doesn't accept she has a drinking problem there is very little to be done for her. I have sadly seen this with a close friend of mine in that they often have to reach rock bottom before acknowledging they are an alcoholic and sometimes not even then. My friend, a highly qualified teacher and university lecturer lost her driving licence, her job, her marriage, children and family support and ended up in prison overnight and is still drinking now four years later although has done a few spells in rehab to get clean.

Savvy_Sue

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

Every employer that provides care to vulnerable people should have a policy about protecting their clients/services users though.

Yes, that is true. I was more wanting to encourage the OP not to assume that reporting concerns to work would lead automatically to dismissal (if concerns proved to be true).

If drug or alcohol misuse is alleged, then a good employer will suspend, to give time to investigate and offer support.

System

Personally I wouldn't allow my children to be in the care of her.

Maybe it'll be a wake up call of sorts? They say that someone has to hit rock bottom before that change.
My husbands a functioning alcoholic, he's impossible. There's little I can say to get him to stop.

masonsmum

Thank you to everyone for the replies. The main problem seems to be that both my Aunt and Uncle are in total denial of what is actually happening.

She was admitted to hospital last night after a house call from the GP as she was delirious and hadn't moved out of her bed since last Thursday as well as her blood pressure going through the roof. She got home from hospital this morning and my Uncle says "she has a bad chest infection - and its not been caused by alcohol"

I cant help but feel that he isn't helping matters and that he is "feeding" her the alcohol to keep the cravings at bay, because she NEVER seems sober to me anymore.

My boys were supposed to go to them after school yesterday but I told my Aunt that she needed to sort herself out as I didn't want my kids to see her like that. My uncle was so angry with me and said that the boys might have helped her "get out of this slump she is in"

I hate to see a relationship breaking down with two people I have always been close to but I cant help or get involved if they cant face the problem.

suki1964

Well done for being strong enough to see that your children need to be kept away. Do not allow your uncle to emotionally blackmail you

Ring AlAnon Get some outside support from them for you. It's very difficult being in the position you are in but the support you will get from AlAnon will help you keep resolve

All the very best of luck to you. No matter what happens to your Aunt, none of it is your fault nor your children's. Protect your children xx