Family Issues - Alcoholism

masonsmum

I am in the middle of some issues with a member of my family and I am looking for some advice on how to handle it.

I am very close to my Aunt (mums sister) and my Uncle. They have never had any children and live very close to us and regularly help us out with childcare when I am at work by getting my boys from school, giving them dinner etc. However over the past few years it has became clear that my Aunt has an alcohol addiction. It seems to be getting steadily worse this year and we have had 2 major episodes in the past couple of months where she has been drunk at work and is spiralling out of control. My uncle doesn’t help as he tries to hide the extent of the problem and tries to make out everything is fine. I am now riddled with guilt as I no longer want to send my children there when she is drunk all the time. I have tried to help on many occasions but they just act as if nothing is happening. She is a carer for people with disabilities role and it can’t be covered up for much longer.

Can anyone offer advise on how I should deal with this. Thank you in advance.

littleredhen

Have you tried talking to her on a one to one basis?

Browntoa

Afraid like most addict's the person concerned has to admit there is a problem , there's virtually nothing a third party can do until they do this

All you can do is make it clear you are no longer happy to let her collect the children due to her alcohol problem

Tabbytabitha

Does she use a car to collect your children or to do her caring work?

masonsmum

Tabbytabitha wrote: »

Does she use a car to collect your children or to do her caring work?

No she doesn’t drive thankfully. My Uncle chauffeurs her everywhere. He is a recovering alcoholic as well and hasn’t drunk for 27 years now.

masonsmum

littleredhen wrote: »

Have you tried talking to her on a one to one basis?

Yes I have but she just tries to lie her way out of things. She makes out she is ill with flu or sickness bug etc and that’s why she is so drowsy and slurring her speech. But I know she is drunk and I’m finding empty bottles all the time.

Red-Squirrel_2

If you are worried that she may be a risk to the people she cares for, i’m afraid you have to contact her employers and tell them your concerns.

In terms of helping your aunt, it’s harder, I think all you can do is tell that as soon as she wants your support you will be there to give it.

suki1964

You can't help her, she and her OH are in denial

What you can do is protect your children and stop letting her care for them.

Ms_Chocaholic

How old are your boys? Are they of an age where they can protect themselves. Is the uncle always there when the wife is providing childcare.

chesky

If she’s fond of the children, then stopping her acting as their carer might actually help her face up to the problem and realise her behaviour has consequences.

Savvy_Sue

Red-Squirrel wrote: »

If you are worried that she may be a risk to the people she cares for, i’m afraid you have to contact her employers and tell them your concerns.

it is worth noting that some employers will have a policy to support staff with addiction issues, IF they are willing to face them. Equally, some have clear policies about use of alcohol / drugs which may affect performance.