Travelling On

[Deleted User]

Karmacat wrote: »

Morning! It's a laptop for me nowadays, all the way - before they came along, pen and paper, of course - but my revision note-taking when I was in college left me with a bad fingerjoint on my right hand, plus my shoulder nowadays. I'm a wreck so laptop is the lightest.

I've just had quite a wakeup call Trying to arrange to see this latest great nephew - the family aren't in London when I'm there, and they suggested calling in to see me at my home before meeting up with her parents at the local airport. But that would be literally within an hour of when I get back from the rabbitsitting gig i.e. no time to vacuum, dust (or get rid of the *other* mould, not the black stuff. Or the ant powder in my living room :o:o). I can't have them here

This has become a really unacceptable situation. So, I've decided, on days when I do an hour's gardening, the rest of my energy needs to be spent on cleaning, not on more gardening. It's all getting a bit desperate. Bit of a shock, really

Oh, KC, I really empathise with your horrified feelings about having visitors:kisses3:. I had the shock of my life about 3 years ago when a friend from University days just turned up without warning at the front door one Sunday morning:eek:. She lives several hundred miles away and was visiting the area with her husband (who I'd never even met before). Had I known in advance that they were to be in the area I might have had a good scoot round the house and made it presentable for them to visit (by invitation of course). I hadn't seen her for over 40 years although we'd kept in touch via Christmas cards and very occasional emails.


I was horrified that she should just turn up like that and I'm ashamed to say I was very 'off' with her. I didn't even invite her in, we had a 5 minute chat on the driveway:o. I'd been deep cleaning the inside of the cooker and was wearing a scruffy overall and had my hair scraped back out of the way with an elastic band:eek:. What a sight I must have been, I felt humiliated somehow. She, of course, was smartly dressed and impeccably groomed, all set for visiting. I didn't dare let her see inside the house:eek:. I've no idea what her home is like but they sent their sons to private schools so I imagine they have a posher lifestyle than us. We hate anyone just appearing without prior arrangement anyway, even family. Luckily none live local enough to even consider just dropping in:j. My parents used to love it if long-lost rellies or people they hadn't seen for years just turned up at their door and couldn't understand when I insisted that they never visited us unless I knew they were coming. My Mum was uber-houseproud though, anyone could turn up any time and the place was like a show home;)


Neither my friend or I have made any contact since, no Christmas cards or anything. I feel the onus is on me to apologise or at least try to explain but I just can't bring myself to do it:o. Your experience has just reminded me of my massive frog which will be forever sitting there challenging me:eek:

Karmacat

Omigod, CBC! I feel for you! What your friend did is incredibly not-okay. **Anything** could have been happening at your place, up to and including a wedding or a funeral! It strikes me there was a bit of manipulation going on there from her - who just turns up after 40 years or more? Blimey. I give you full permission to regard your massive frog as a tadpole thanks to the wonders of the space-time continuum as promulgated by the interwebulator


Personally, I'm whipping through my to-do list, with the addition of lots of phone calls about a new bank account as Executors, to receive the money from the house sale. We already have one, but apparently its not Speshul enough. I sitll have to pay my credit cards, move some money into my cheque account, put the rubbish out including garden rubbish, tidy, shower, and spray the house with bug killer, then I'm good. I'll be glad to get away!

[Deleted User]

Karmacat wrote: »

Omigod, CBC! I feel for you! What your friend did is incredibly not-okay. **Anything** could have been happening at your place, up to and including a wedding or a funeral! It strikes me there was a bit of manipulation going on there from her - who just turns up after 40 years or more? Blimey. I give you full permission to regard your massive frog as a tadpole thanks to the wonders of the space-time continuum as promulgated by the interwebulator

Thank you, KC:T

I'm glad it's not just me that feels that way, I knew you'd understand. I bet you were a brilliant therapist:A. All OH had to say about it when he saw how upset the visit had made me was to say 'she had a damn cheek to just turn up like that'. He was very annoyed, yes, as neither of us wants unexpected callers, but I don't think he realised the personal humiliation, for want of a better word, that I felt.

Incidentally, what would you have done if something similar had happened to you? Please tell me to mind my own business if you think it's an intrusive question.

maddiemay

When I was younger and before ill health I was not super house proud, but it was reasonably tidy and OK for visitors and I never minded anyone calling. Fast forward a few years and it is a different matter, however, like you KC I resolved before I came away that as soon as the weather prevents me reclaiming the garden I will start the process of Kondoing and cleaning indoors. I am recovered enough that I want to be able to invite people in:D Not ready yet to feel up to paying back one or two people who have invited us to eat with them though:(

Today OH and I met and lunched with my friend in Dorset, tasty food and good service in a dog friendly pub, and I know that she was as genuinely pleased to see us as were we to see her. Definitely a frog that was worth swallowing.

Yesterday afternoon we called un-announced on an ex-neighbour and friend, but made it very clear that we did not wish to be invited in so close to meal time and without notice. We had become aware that her home was for sale, in fact she moves very soon and we now know where she will be, she was touched that we had cared enough to call. Very different circumstances to yours CBC, I remember a similar event happening, a few years ago and it unsettled me for a long time, even though the person was dear to me, she had a relative with her and I was mortified that this person should see me looking so ill and unkempt:o

Apologies for the essay and poor grammar, too much to eat, a nana nap calls.:rotfl:

themadvix

Oh Karma, that's a rubbish situation to be in. Could you arrange to meet them at a coffee shop or something? (You could use the excuse that you've not been at home etc... make something up as to why it would be better to meet out of the house)

Our house isn't untidy but because of the cats, it's never clean for people popping in unexpectedly.... my sis often rings to say she's popping round and I manically run the hoover round - cat fur and litter (clean bits that get caught in their paws) are just not appealing, but it would be a constant thing to keep it guest clean *all* the time.

I can't believe how rude your friend was CBC, just turning up like that

Maddie - glad you ate the frog, it sounds like it was definitely worth it!!

Karmacat

beanielou wrote: »

Why dont you have a company in to do a one off deep clean?
Then you just need to keep on top of it

I know I have money from my mum, beanie, but I can't quite bring myself to spend it on that if I really focus on doing it myself, the cleaning (as opposed to paintwork) should only take a couple of weeks.

carbootcrazy wrote: »

I'm glad it's not just me that feels that way, I knew you'd understand. I bet you were a brilliant therapist:A.

Thank you :o:o

Incidentally, what would you have done if something similar had happened to you? Please tell me to mind my own business if you think it's an intrusive question.

To be honest, I don't know ... before I got the chronic fatigue, I always made sure that the living room was okay for anyone to see - as you may remember, I consider the cruise in June as the turning point that proved to me I didn't have the chronic fatigue any more, but I haven't gone back to that "living room is always okay" regimen. I think I'm going to.

Good question, CBC :T

maddiemay wrote: »

When I was younger and before ill health I was not super house proud, but it was reasonably tidy and OK for visitors and I never minded anyone calling. Fast forward a few years and it is a different matter, however, like you KC I resolved before I came away that as soon as the weather prevents me reclaiming the garden I will start the process of Kondoing and cleaning indoors. I am recovered enough that I want to be able to invite people in:D Not ready yet to feel up to paying back one or two people who have invited us to eat with them though:(

Thanks for this! I'm worried that my response to my nephew has offended, I sent it over 24 hours ago and no response, but its more likely sleep deprivation.

Today OH and I met and lunched with my friend in Dorset, tasty food and good service in a dog friendly pub, and I know that she was as genuinely pleased to see us as were we to see her. Definitely a frog that was worth swallowing.

Fantastic! I'm really pleased for you

Yesterday afternoon we called un-announced on an ex-neighbour and friend, but made it very clear that we did not wish to be invited in so close to meal time and without notice. We had become aware that her home was for sale, in fact she moves very soon and we now know where she will be, she was touched that we had cared enough to call. Very different circumstances to yours CBC, I remember a similar event happening, a few years ago and it unsettled me for a long time, even though the person was dear to me, she had a relative with her and I was mortified that this person should see me looking so ill and unkempt:o

What you did is very different from what CBC endured, isn't it! That's when its really, really appreciated :j when you're *genuinely* thinking of the other person.


Staying on this thread to reply to madvix

Karmacat

themadvix wrote: »

Oh Karma, that's a rubbish situation to be in. Could you arrange to meet them at a coffee shop or something? (You could use the excuse that you've not been at home etc... make something up as to why it would be better to meet out of the house)

Well the rabbit sitting return is true, and so is the state of the house ... I told him about the replastering needed from when the mortar failed, and the mould in the living room thats been the result (not black. Orange? The new black but really). Part of me wants to say to him don't worry, your in laws are coming over from Ireland, I'll bow out, part of me worries that he'll experience that as rejection, there are difficulties ... I'll hold on and wait for him.

Our house isn't untidy but because of the cats, it's never clean for people popping in unexpectedly.... my sis often rings to say she's popping round and I manically run the hoover round - cat fur and litter (clean bits that get caught in their paws) are just not appealing, but it would be a constant thing to keep it guest clean *all* the time.

Thats a good point - and I've read discussions about all of this on the lovely Captain Awkward, who is a lifesaver in so many ways. This rabbit sitting is a different lark - at least there's no litter (bits of cardboard that they love to chew, yes!).

I can't believe how rude your friend was CBC, just turning up like that

Maddie - glad you ate the frog, it sounds like it was definitely worth it!!

Amen to both of those I'm having a ball with the rabbit, he loves the smells on the bottom of my shoes and has let me stroke him briefly when he's running about in the room he's been allocated (he can't be out of the run without a person there, thats the deal). It's fun

[Deleted User]

The rabbit sitting sounds fun:j. Different anyway.


Just so people don't think I live in a filthy hovel, I should explain that my home is as clean as I can make it. I confess though that I don't like housework, largely because in this house it is so darn difficult:mad:. There's the slight whiff of mould:eek: as there often is in old houses but no other offensive odours. Whatever I can clean is clean (most of the time anyway;)) but the whole place is like a permanent building site:mad:. What with long-standing subsidence and other structural issues we have sections of most rooms with part of the wallpaper stripped off, plaster chipped off back to bare brick and carpets up or partially rolled back. There's furniture pulled out from it's usual position and some piled on top of other pieces, possessions boxed up because of having to remove some fitted cupboards/units. I'm sure you get the picture.


We are used to it by now, we don't like it but can just about live with it until we get things sorted for good. I certainly don't want anybody to see it like this though:eek:. It's alright for them to think we are in the throes of having work done on the place but when it's been ongoing for years and nothing ever changes I prefer to keep our living arrangements top secret:o


Had my final injection this morning, that's the initial 7 in just over a fortnight over with:j. I'm having more bloods taken on Tuesday so they can see how things are going and then, hopefully, just one injection every 3 months from now on. I deliberately parked my car at the far end of the village where the surgery is and walked there. I've always been a good walker but a month ago I wouldn't have been able to manage it so I was really happy I did that today. It was teeming with rain when I came out of the surgery although it had been lovely and sunny when I went in:mad:. My jacket didn't have a hood and I hadn't an umbrella with me so I looked like a drowned rat by the time I got back to the car:rotfl:. I half ran (jogged anyway) back to it and managed that OK so all in all I felt good.

Karmacat

The rabbit really is fun, CBC - he's discovered a way inside a big cardboard box, so it moves around on its own, just like in a cartoon and then he had a mad half hour.

As far as the state of your own place is concerned - well, I don't feel mine is up to having visitors in, so I accept that you don't want visitors in yours either. In reality, no one would judge either of us, but its about our own comfort - I'm sure there's a self esteem issue lurking in there somewhere, but frankly I'd just as soon not unpack mine - I'm okay with the level of awareness I've got, I'll leave it where it is for now. I bet you're the same!

Glad the injections are doing you good

Anyway, today, I just skimmed about the local shops I know - sorry that Maplins has gone, I used to love the gadgets in there. I really, really need new summer trousers, I only have one pair that fits me, they're black, missing a button, and they're cast offs from my sister, at least ten years old :rotfl: the new ones I bought last year are literally hanging off me, I bought at Peak Weight :rotfl:


And now ... a dvd set is calling me

[Deleted User]

Karmacat wrote: »

Anyway, today, I just skimmed about the local shops I know - sorry that Maplins has gone, I used to love the gadgets in there. I really, really need new summer trousers, I only have one pair that fits me, they're black, missing a button, and they're cast offs from my sister, at least ten years old :rotfl: the new ones I bought last year are literally hanging off me, I bought at Peak Weight :rotfl:

I used to love Maplins too. Spent ages in there although I never actually bought all that much:o. The sales assistants were so helpful and knowledgeable, I used to pick their brains about tech issues all the time. they never seemed to mind though, I think the young men enjoyed explaining things to us oldies:)


I hardly ever buy new clothes but treated myself to some new trousers recently after losing so much weight when I was ill. My old faithfuls were like yours, hanging off me:eek:. I was forever having to hitch them up. The ones I bought were in a size I'd never been able to get into in my whole adult life:j but now the weight-loss has stopped and I expect I'll be creeping back up to my usual size I'm wearing the new ones all the time to make sure I get my money's worth out of them:rotfl:.