Your married surname.

consumers_revenge

Well that's everyone knows your password then lol

Kathy535

chesky wrote: »

The poll is irrelevant, I took my husbands name but that was nearly 60 years ago and I wouldn’t do it now. So my response wouldn’t take my true opinion into account.

I agree with this. I took my first husband's surname, kept it after we divorced so as to have the same surname as my daughter and kept it despite marrying my second husband. Ironically, if my daughter marries her current boyfriend she will have the same surname as her stepdad!

However, even if she hadn't asked me to retain my current surname I wouldn't have changed it for several reasons - it's my name now and I no longer feel I 'have' to subsume part of my identity when I get married, the amount of paperwork changing your name involves is a trial, my professional reputation is built around my current surname, my husband doesn't mind one way or the other, neither does my ex husband care if I still use 'his' name and the idea that you are not making a proposer commitment or some such because you don't change your name to that of your new husband is just outdated and bonkers. Especially when your lives are entwined by finances, children and homes etc.

The only people who think it's odd are my new in laws but they are old and traditional.

So, just like I refuse to conform to the OPs request for no comments I also refuse to change my name. Happy Christmas!

somethingcorporate

We double-barrelled after our first daughter was stillborn so we could all have the same name. We kepts ours after marriage until this point and still retain ours individually professionally.

michelle09

Not long before our wedding, my OH went on a rant about how sexist and unfair it was that the speeches were all given by men. I immediately offered for myself, my mother and a bridesmaid to make the speeches, but then I would expect him to take my surname. The thought had clearly never crossed his mind and the shock on his face still entertains me.

As it is, he has his surname, I have mine. Generally, I am a firm believer that it's no-one's business what a couple does. For us? If my husband desperately needs us to be a 'team' and have the same surname then he can take mine as I won't be changing.

I do take offence at any insinuation that I am not committed to my happy and successful marriage by not changing my surname though! These days it's becoming less and less common for women to change their names after marriage. I've known those change, not change, the man change, double barrel or both taking a whole new name.

moneyistooshorttomention

Being of an agegroup that hasnt attended a wedding for some time - I thought it was now pretty normal for women to make speeches at weddings too.

Or am I thinking "ahead of the times" on that and its not happening yet? Wouldnt be the first time - I've often thought something had become normal - when it wasnt the case till 10-20 years later....

redpete

consumers_revenge wrote: »

No comments please, just a poll.

Pretty much guaranteed to get a comment.

Only take if you are married husband or wife

As a married (heterosexual) man I can't see how i can answer those questions.

consumers_revenge

don't worry about it....

michelle09

Money- I am of the age group where I am attending a number of weddings, it is definitely becoming far more common. I am a terrible public speaker and felt the four speeches we had were more than enough! And if my husband hadn't wanted to either we would have just stood together and thanked everyone for coming.

Honestly I think weddings generally need fewer speeches than more. I used to bartend at weddings so vave seen a fair few.

onlyroz

I did take my husband's surname but I think that perhaps I should have kept my own. I was only 22 when I got married, which is probably a factor.

Gavin83

moneyistooshorttomention wrote: »

Being of an agegroup that hasnt attended a wedding for some time - I thought it was now pretty normal for women to make speeches at weddings too.

I’m in my early 30’s so I’ve attended a lot of weddings in the last few years and have a few due next year. I’ve only known one wedding where a woman made a speech. This was the mother of the bride and I think this was primarily because the father of the bride was not present. It certainly isn’t my experience that it’s commonplace.

Out of those who’ve got married I’ve known two women who have kept their own surnames, all the rest the woman has taken the mans surname.