Can jealousy and possessiveness change?

Attila_the_Bun

Kmx wrote: »

Oh goodness, what unhelpful confrontation responses. Wow, genuinely feeling rock bottom confidence why and wondering whether am wrong or hes wrong or if hell change or what.

Im out too for what its worth.

I just hope the two of you manage to grow up or your kids'll think it's normal to have 2 parents who behave in this way

....and with that, I'm out, too!

LilElvis

Tell him that apologies and promises aren't enough - that you need both couples counselling and for him to see someone by himself too. Set a deadline by which he needs to make the appointments and tell him this is non negotiable if he wants to save the relationship.

Comms69

Why cant parents just act like actual parents?


What's this staying in a hotel with friends nonsense.


Both need to grow up and decide if it's worth saving or not.

BucksLady

Maybe step back and consider how your relationship might be affecting your children. All this animosity between you both must be extremely upsetting to them.

FBaby

Are you beautiful, confident and popular and is he...well... average?

I think you got your own response, he suffers from a fear of abandonment, so any action he sees as a sign that you are going to be snapped by someone better than him. Best way to deal with it, make him feel is the most gorgeous amazing man and that whoever you talk to, the conversation is never has rewarding as coming back to him because he is everything to you.

Mr_Costcutter

[QUOTE=Kmx;73594

Also my sexual history is more than him yes but also I feel hurt he brings mine up. Hes been with 2, me 10 which still to me isnt disgraceful.

.[/QUOTE]

I can't imagine 'why' you would wish to share such information and why you would think anyone here would find it interesting or relevant to your situation.

ManofLeisure_2

FBaby wrote: »

Are you beautiful, confident and popular and is he...well... average?

.

Many relationships fit this profile - but the majority of couples who do so - do not behave in this way.

PositiveVibes

OP sorry you don’t seem to have received that many responses with any real advice so far
Some people on this site are the most negative & judgemental people I have ever come across:silenced:
It sounds to me like on the whole you have a really good relationship with a good man who has some issues. It’s up to you only to decide if this is something you can work through with him as, without being judgmental or mean here, some of the things you may do will encourage his jealousy (like the not telling him about guys you’ve spoken to until a few days after a night out) or allowing yourself to be in situations where you know it’ll upset him (the flirty man in the kitchen.)
I’m not saying the way he acts is your fault at all but if you know he has problems then don’t give him reasons to act out.
So ultimately it’s down to him to seek the help he needs & work through his issues & take control of his feelings but if you want this relationship to work then you need to be by his side & support him along the way
Do what’s right for you.

Attila_the_Bun

PositiveVibes wrote: »

OP sorry you don’t seem to have received that many responses with any real advice so far
Some people on this site are the most negative & judgemental people I have ever come across:silenced:

Funny how you know that, as a new user with only one post to your name!



I'm going to stop posting on this site now, I think.

Money_maker

Attila_the_Bun wrote: »

Funny how you know that, as a new user with only one post to your name!



I'm going to stop posting on this site now, I think.

You're a fairly new user too although 319 posts in 15 days does speak volumes.


OP, I'm with you. After 9 years he wont change. If he takes drugs he's a loser. Dump him and move on.