Advice required please

Sncjw

I’ve read your previous thread about volunteering. Did that come to fruition.

It seems you put a stumbling block for everything that could help you. You seem to find a reason why you can’t do something. You also don’t like to hear negative stuff. In life it’s not always going to be positive maybe use the negative stuff As constructive criticism to try and turn it around.

kingfisherblue

Sncjw wrote: »

I’ve read your previous thread about volunteering. Did that come to fruition.

It seems you put a stumbling block for everything that could help you. You seem to find a reason why you can’t do something. You also don’t like to hear negative stuff. In life it’s not always going to be positive maybe use the negative stuff As constructive criticism to try and turn it around.

This is what I tell my son. Every cloud has a silver lining. Volunteering, for example, may be viewed negatively because you don't get paid. Looking at it from a positive point of view though, you can see the benefits of work experience, an up-to-date reference, evidence of commitment, the possibility of additional training, transferable skills, etc.

With the example of the OP being sent on a course that she feels isn't beneficial to her, I would consider that is shows her time-keeping, her understanding of needing to comply to rules in order to retain her benefit, the opportunity to ask the tutor if further help or more advanced courses are available, and most importantly considering social anxiety, I would consider it an opportunity to try to face the anxiety head on and to start the road to recovery from a debillitating condition. It's also a chance to get out of the same four walls, and of course, it leads to the continuied payment of JSA.

Andrea2528

sangie595 wrote: »

Andrea, even if I didn't have an excellent memory, in responded directly to your original and unamended post. You very clearly stated that you did not go because it was a waste of your time. Yes, you also said that got had told the Jobcentre this. But you have a clear and specific reason for not going - one that had absolutely nothing to do with social anxiety.

Nevertheless, that doesn't change anything you have been told. Nobody is twisting your arm and forcing you to claim JSA, but whilst you do so there are conditions to receiving benefit. You decided to not adhere to those conditions. You seem to think that pointing this out is "negative". It isn't. It's a fact. There are lots of things that are facts, and you not liking them doesn't make them less of a fact. You live with your parents, so unless they intend to kick you out, refuse to feed you, and withhold all fuel, the worst that is going to happen is that you won't be able to afford entertainment (nook online gambling, for example?). That is not a hardship. That is a consequence of your choice.

You are so wrong in stating that I told the Jobcentre that it was a waste of my time to go on their courses and neither did I specify that in this thread. I stated that I wasn't learning anything from the courses but I had always attended them. However, due to my social anxiety being extreme on that particular day, I felt unable to attend because it was too stressful, especially since I wasn't learning anything from them. Those were also the sentiments of most people who attended them at the same time as myself.

Listen, I asked a simple question, which was if anyone who has been sanctioned is entitled to hardship payment, if they already live with their parents.

Let me also tell you this. It wasn't my idea to claim the hardship payment. It was actually the Jobcentre who suggested that I do so. I told them that I didn't realise that I might be entitled to hardship payment if I live with my parents. They suggested that it might still be worth a try and that I had nothing to loose. So, please stop replying with such nastiness instead of replying with some useful information.

Andrea2528

Sncjw wrote: »

You said this;
I'm asking about hardship payments because it's difficult to have to rely on parents at this time of year to buy things.

This doesn’t say about living costs. People are thinking it’s abour Christmas presents.

If you live with your parents they are helping your living costs. People who have hardship payments are those who having to pay their own rents, electricity, gas and food bills. Without benefits they wouldn’t be able to pay these or go hungry especially with children in the household. You are living with your parents so you don’t have this kind of hardship. You have a roof over your head and I would have thought your parents help you out with food and warmth.

It wasn't my idea to actually claim for hardship payment. It was the Jobcentre that suggested it and I didn't realise that I might be entitled to it. I came into this forum to ask if anyone in my situation has ever claimed hardship payment. I didn't get a simple no or yes, which is what I expected. Then, when the responses started getting very negative and accusing me of trying to take advantage, I thought it would be better to try and delete the thread. Then, I realised that I wouldn't be able to do that and I decided to simplify the message. Then, I was accused of editing the message.

Andrea2528

kingfisherblue wrote: »

My son has Asperger's and gets very anxious at times. He also has severe depression and has self harmed in the past. However, he wants to work in engineering. He has pushed himself to attend a college that specialises in his subject, even though it is in a different town where he knew no one. He has to use public transport (a big issue for him, especially if someone sits in his usual place). He has put himself forward for work placements, meaning that he has had to face his anxiety issues head on. He's done this because he knows that to succeed in his aspirations, he needs work experience, and he will have to work with others in the future.

Recently he started working in a bar (small, fairly quiet), and he's loving it. In fact, I'm about to take him there now for this evening's shift. He's happy to earn the money of course, but it also helps his anxiety and social skills, because he has to deal with people all of the time. From this, he is hoping to overcome some of his issues.

Perhaps the OP could consider voluntary work (something that my son has done in the past to try to help himself) - with Job Centre permission of course. Working from home is something that many people want, but few manage successfully. Instead of focusing on this, and avoiding attending courses or signing on, she might benefit from having a commitment to others, and may also help herself to develop coping strategies. Staying at home is not going to benefit her in the long term.

I have actually worked 17 years full-time and recently done voluntary work, so yes, I have also tried.

BorisThomson

Given the length of time you've been claiming, you must understand why the Jobcentre are sending you on these courses, as there is seemingly no chance of you getting employment off your own back?

I know how crippling anxiety can be, but you need to start helping yourself and showing the Jobcentre that you're doing so. How about you make January the month you start voluntary work (not from home), what's the worst that can happen?

Andrea2528

Fireflyaway wrote: »

Social anxiety can be really debilitating but its true you have to make an effort or nothing will change. For example you deleted half your post because you didn't like the replies. Sometimes in life you will hear things you don't want to hear or have to do unpleasant things to get a good end result. Avoiding it will probably make it worse.
Building some resilience might help. Have you tried CBT?
The fact you live at home is a key point. As I said previously I guess you have food a shower and clean clothes. The rest is not essential. What hardship are you actually facing?
I agree volunteering could really help. You can just start with a few hours and build your confidence / learn new skills.

I don't like people accusing me of being the type of person that is out to take advantage of the welfare system. I've been to see lots of psychologists over the years and tried cbt, mindfulness and exposure therapy but nothing seems to have worked.

Andrea2528

BorisThomson wrote: »

Given the length of time you've been claiming, you must understand why the Jobcentre are sending you on these courses, as there is seemingly no chance of you getting employment off your own back?

I know how crippling anxiety can be, but you need to start helping yourself and showing the Jobcentre that you're doing so. How about you make January the month you start voluntary work (not from home), what's the worst that can happen?

Yes, I realise that I have to do as they say. I've already quite a lot of voluntary work and started the beginning of last year. However, I'm still trying to find something that will suit me and I am trying and always researching things.

Andrea2528

kingfisherblue wrote: »

This is what I tell my son. Every cloud has a silver lining. Volunteering, for example, may be viewed negatively because you don't get paid. Looking at it from a positive point of view though, you can see the benefits of work experience, an up-to-date reference, evidence of commitment, the possibility of additional training, transferable skills, etc.

With the example of the OP being sent on a course that she feels isn't beneficial to her, I would consider that is shows her time-keeping, her understanding of needing to comply to rules in order to retain her benefit, the opportunity to ask the tutor if further help or more advanced courses are available, and most importantly considering social anxiety, I would consider it an opportunity to try to face the anxiety head on and to start the road to recovery from a debillitating condition. It's also a chance to get out of the same four walls, and of course, it leads to the continuied payment of JSA.

Yes, and I've tried to explain that I've been doing all of that except for that one particular day out of many days of attending them previously. I turned up on time and always got on with the people running them and never gave them reason to complain about anything. It was only the one day that I didn't attend.

Caroline_a

OP you talk about working from home. What sort of work do you think you could do? I work from home every so often and I'm in a senior administration role, but it took a long time working and working for this company before it was ok to do that. Working from home isn't a learnt skill, so there won't be any courses on it, you need to decide what you want to do which may allow working from home.