Restricting rights of son's father - how?

alicejohnson

Hi there,

I want to restrict the rights of my son's father. I will describe my circumstances and will ask for your opinion at the end. Thank you!

My son (9) was born when I was married, and his father's name appears on his birth certificate.My son's father has not seen his son for 6 years, and since last year has stopped paying maintenance after CSA got dissolved. I have since re-married, and my son and I live with my husband.

Prior to the birth of my son, his father was involved in a road incident and tested positive for prohibited substances. I don't have any evidence, but I think there must be a police record that would probably appear on a DBS check.


I understand that I can pursue several avenues to restrict the rights of my son's father:
- child arrangement order with a view of being able to make short trips abroad without requiring permission of my son's father;
- change of surname;
- adoption by my now-husband;
- as well as removal of parental responsibility on the grounds of a likely DBS record.

My son's father has not cooperated in the past, and I would not be able to guess his willingness to cooperate or inhibit the process.

1. What's the best avenue to pursue?
2. Should I use C1, C100 or any other forms?
3. Should my husband's name appear on one or both of these forms? I understand court's permission may be required.
4. Some sources imply that it is my responsibility to provide evdence of handing the forms to my son's father. Is this absolutely necessary?
5. There's a section on required mediation. I have not been in touch with my son's father for 6 years. What evidence can I provide to support this? Will I still be forced to find him and go through mediation?
6. What's the best strategy to remove or restrict the rights of my son's father on the basis of the likely DBS record?

Many thanks!

elsien

Can you really remove parental responsibility due to a DBS, let alone one that you aren't even sure exists? Seems a little extreme to me.

clairec79

If your new husband formally adopts your son I believe his birth father would have parental rights removed as he would no longer legally be his father.

However he would likely be asked to agree to the adoption and your son's thoughts taken into account

alicejohnson

elsien wrote: »

Can you really remove parental responsibility due to a DBS, let alone one that you aren't even sure exists? Seems a little extreme to me.

Yes, I do want to remove PR of the person who has taken no interest in his son's life - neither personal nor financial, and he may well be a threat to him. These days there is Twitter and other social networks to indicate that one may be alive and well.

alicejohnson

clairec79 wrote: »

If your new husband formally adopts your son I believe his birth father would have parental rights removed as he would no longer legally be his father.

However he would likely be asked to agree to the adoption and your son's thoughts taken into account

Do you have a view on the best steps to proceed to adoption? Would getting PR be a good idea?

triple_choc_chip

clairec79 wrote: »

If your new husband formally adopts your son I believe his birth father would have parental rights removed as he would no longer legally be his father.

However he would likely be asked to agree to the adoption and your son's thoughts taken into account

I don't think this is correct. If they decide to adopt, the op and her new partner would need to both adopt the child. The op would then have adoptive parents rights and no more rights to the child than her partner if they split in the future. However the biological father would keep his parental right. It's a minefield.

A minor offence on a dbs wouldn't have any effect at all, even a lengthy stay in prison wouldn't threaten a father's rights.

Sarastro

I'm sorry but I think you're completely wrong. My parents got divorced when I was just old enough to realise what was going on. I can remember being passed from parent to parent on the driveway of our house and not knowing why. I don't think you have any right to restrict your son's access to his biological father. He might be a complete )(*& but he is still his father. I didn't get to know mine until I was 21 because my mother restricted contact when I was 5. I don't really like him that much, but at least I now know who he is and where he lives and what he looks like. I didn't get to meet my younger half-brother until he was 18 and now he has a child whom I adore with all my heart.

Your son will judge your actions at some point. I hope he agrees with your decision. I mean a potential DBS sounds like a completely good reason to restrict access.

esmy

Have a look at the link - gives you the basics about adoption by a step parent.
https://www.gov.uk/child-adoption/adopting-a-stepchild

Your local Children's Services department can also advise on the process.

I believe that parental responsibility can only be ended by adoption.

System

alicejohnson wrote: »

Hi there,

I want to restrict the rights of my son's father. I will describe my circumstances and will ask for your opinion at the end. Thank you!

My son (9) was born when I was married, and his father's name appears on his birth certificate.My son's father has not seen his son for 6 years, and since last year has stopped paying maintenance after CSA got dissolved. I have since re-married, and my son and I live with my husband.

Prior to the birth of my son, his father was involved in a road incident and tested positive for prohibited substances. I don't have any evidence, but I think there must be a police record that would probably appear on a DBS check.


I understand that I can pursue several avenues to restrict the rights of my son's father:
- child arrangement order with a view of being able to make short trips abroad without requiring permission of my son's father;
- change of surname;
- adoption by my now-husband;
- as well as removal of parental responsibility on the grounds of a likely DBS record.

My son's father has not cooperated in the past, and I would not be able to guess his willingness to cooperate or inhibit the process.

1. What's the best avenue to pursue?
2. Should I use C1, C100 or any other forms?
3. Should my husband's name appear on one or both of these forms? I understand court's permission may be required.
4. Some sources imply that it is my responsibility to provide evdence of handing the forms to my son's father. Is this absolutely necessary?
5. There's a section on required mediation. I have not been in touch with my son's father for 6 years. What evidence can I provide to support this? Will I still be forced to find him and go through mediation?
6. What's the best strategy to remove or restrict the rights of my son's father on the basis of the likely DBS record?

Many thanks!

I think your going to open a can of worms.

badmemory

What do you want your child to see in the future? Remember they will be looking at this for the next (hopefully) at least 70 years. Do you want them to see a parent who said OK your dad turned out not to be the best in the world, but me & your step dad were here for you. Or do you want him to see your dad was an a*** & lets face it you may take after him & be an a*** too.

My son refuses to get in a long term relationship because of the behaviour of his father & his paternal grandfather. This is not something that you want for your child

PeacefulWaters

I think you'd be far better doing nothing, loving your son and explaining to him that you'll be there to support him (as you've always been) should his father eventually show up.

Anything else seems pointless, a tad vindictive for no real gain and will ultimately lead to your son seeing you as the nasty parent as he gets older.