Protecting my home in case of divorce

Udont_knowme

Ok...i recently found out my wife has been cheating on me. We have been together 20 years, married 9 years and have three children aged 16, 11 and 5. I'm not sure what is going to happen in the relationship, but I need to protect my home.
I own a £500k house with a £130k mortgage, solely in my name, bought 10 years ago. My wife has never contributed financially to the home. I pay everything, mortgage, bills, insurance and maintenance etc etc and always have done.
If I sell my house to my sister for a nominal amount, say £10 and "rent" it from her. In the event that we do split up, will my home be safe? I dont want to sell it and i doubt we could both continue to live together. I will of course look after my children but my wife made a choice to play away and I don't know what then other guys intentions are. Please I don't want relationship advice, I just need it in black and white if I can protect my home this way. Thank you.

caprikid1

I understand your anger but with 3 children to support unless you get custody I think the courts will look at the starting point of 50/50. Your wife contributed by looking after your children.


It is not unknown for the mother to get more than 50/50 to ensure a suitable home of the children.


Selling the house to your sister I would think would be a very very bad move and just cost a fortune in legal fee's down the line.

Kayalana99

I know it's not what you want to hear, but whilst she might not have financially contributed I'm sure it was her who did the school runs and raised the kids allowing you to go to work. You've been together 20 years, married for 9 and have three kids...so there isn't much you can do. It doesn't matter if it's only in your name, because you are married what is yours is hers.

If you 'sell' the house to your sister as you say above, it would just be seen as hiding assets when it came to the divorce and you would still have to pay her share. There isn't a legal way around this.

warehouse

Hi OP. Does your wife know that you know about her cheating? IE Is she expecting this?

Comms69

Udont_knowme wrote: »

Ok...i recently found out my wife has been cheating on me. We have been together 20 years, married 9 years and have three children aged 16, 11 and 5. I'm not sure what is going to happen in the relationship, but I need to protect my home.
I own a £500k house with a £130k mortgage, solely in my name, bought 10 years ago. My wife has never contributed financially to the home. I pay everything, mortgage, bills, insurance and maintenance etc etc and always have done. - Not really relevant.
If I sell my house to my sister for a nominal amount, say £10 and "rent" it from her. - It would not make a tiny bit of difference. In the event that we do split up, will my home be safe? I dont want to sell it and i doubt we could both continue to live together. I will of course look after my children but my wife made a choice to play away and I don't know what then other guys intentions are. Please I don't want relationship advice, I just need it in black and white if I can protect my home this way. Thank you.

No, that will not work.

None1066

I'm going through divorce at present, my situation is the same as yours, my wife was cheating on me. I was sensible and mature with our finances my wife was the so called irresponsible one she spent 5k a month on her credit cards for many consecutive months.

With regards to your house it would be an initial 50/50 but there are a lot of factors that can change this, such as who will look after the children, the courts would take this in to account if there was a need for a financial assessment or you both cant agree on who gets what. The courts will put children first in all cases.

A financial assessment if we cant agree in my case without children will cost from 4k to 24k.
This is extremely frustrating as i in my opinion spent my pocket money on my hobby and what i bought has value, this despite my wife drinking and buying flights for her friends and buying shoes handbags and so on and now has nothing to show for her spending legally if she wanted to pursue it could take half of my hobby / collection.

I'm not sure if this helps but basically children will always come first.

None1066

If you sell your house for a low amount way below the market value this could come back and haunt you later on. Unfortunately your house would be deemed as marital property.

None1066

Sorry marital asset

TBagpuss

As others have said, your suggestion won't work.
Also, the house may nbe in your name but it is a matrimonial asset. You and she both have rights to it, and you may find it easier if you start to think of it as a joint asset (which is is ) rather than 'yours'.

Over 20 years of marriage you and your wife had a partnership in which, by mutual consent, you made bigger financial contributions and she (most likely) made more non-financial contributions such as caring for the children, fitting her career around their needs etc. The court will treat you as each having contributed equally.

You are free to end that partnership, but you don't get to then retrospectively change the basis on which the two of you chose to arrange your lives and finances to benefit yourself and disadvantage your wife. And if you try, then you are likely to come unstuck, because the courts have seen it all before and do have options to ensure that it doesn't work!

Of the specific property is important to you, then you will need to think about how you could buy out your wife's interest in the property.

The start point would be that she will be entitled to 50% of the equity, however that may change once you take into account the value of other assets (savings, pensions etc) and how they are to be divided, and your respective financial needs, incomes and earning capacities going forward.

The time to think about keeping assets separate or having unequal shares in them if before you marry, when you can enter into a pre-nup (and review it regualarly to take account of changes such as children being born!)

Pollycat

Did your wife stay at home to look after your joint children?
Perhaps she sacrificed her own career to do so?

Perhaps you should stop thinking about financial contribution to the marriage and instead consider what non-financial contribution your wife has made over the 16 years since your first child was born.

pinkshoes

A marriage is not just about money; it is about ANY contribution whether that be time or money.

I contribute very little financially to my marriage as I left my equally high paid career to do something that fits better around kids and school. I do, however, do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, food shopping, school runs and childcare. If your wife did any of these things then she was contributing to the marriage.

I appreciate you are hurting as she has cheated on you, but you are barking up the wrong tree thinking of money as being yours. 50% is hers...

I suggest you start by asking her to leave the house and insisting on full custody of the kids for now, given her unacceptable behaviour.