Private school extras fee dilemma

unholyangel

willburr wrote: »

I agree i don't think it is helpful or fair of the school actually. And it would be sensible if the school didn't have to keep chasing for money id have thought. My increasing impression is it's all about money, money, money. If you Google private schools bankruptcies etc there are a number of articles with headlines such as some parents are finding it harder getting their kids out rather than in. Also a number of stories about parents being made bankrupt for fees owing of 2k.

Btw, We were never married nor did we live together. But I don't think that makes much difference. My ex gf also said due to a medical condition pregnancy was "impossible" although this was retrospectively changed to "not very likely".

PCOS by any chance? If so I know a friend of mine was diagnosed with it and led to believe she would never conceive. Several years later discovered she could when she had a miscarriage. Professionals do sometimes get it wrong.

Perhaps try get a free half hour with a solicitor, take along a copy of the contract and ask their thoughts on whether your ex can bind you to a new/increased liability or whether the school should be seeking consent of all parties.

Cheeseface

Had you thought about refusing to pay from this point forward, give a term’s notice though?

If you pay your ex maintenance then all school fees should come out of that.

Contact the school, arrange to pay your arrears and say that you are not in a position to fund any further so do not authorise it.

Mojisola

willburr wrote: »

I earn circa 13000 per year. The current extras bill will be around 3700 for one year of 3 terms.

That's totally unsustainable.

ska_lover

Cheeseface wrote: »

Had you thought about refusing to pay from this point forward, give a term’s notice though?

If you pay your ex maintenance then all school fees should come out of that.

Contact the school, arrange to pay your arrears and say that you are not in a position to fund any further so do not authorise it.

This, put it in writing and see what happens.


I feel sorry for you OP I mean in no other way would we just be expected to suck up fees - I mean if I dropped my car off at the garage and they did work to it without my consent I would be furious - and the current agreement could cause you to be in serious financial straits for years!

IAmWales

Do you not work full time, and is there a reason why you don't? £13,000 is less than minimum wage for full time hours.

silvercar

The fact is that extras at a fee paying school are likely to be far higher than they would be at a state school. Mainly because the demand is there to supply higher value options.

To send a child to a fee paying school you have to expect that there will be extra costs that come with that. Even to the extent that the pupils have personal budgets for socialising/ shopping etc that are on average higher than from a state school.

Really it is something that you should have realised when you made the decision to accept the generous relatives offer of paying for a private education for your child. If the parents are seeing the benefit of their child having a private education and all they have to pay for is the extras they are getting value for money.

fred246

How can you see the benefits of a private education? All you can do is send your child to a certain school and then make a guess about whether it has turned out better or worse than sending them to a different school. Just paying for something that is available for free doesn't make it any better, just more expensive. If a multi millionaire is paying the fees why not ask them to pay for the extras?

elsien

silvercar wrote: »

Really it is something that you should have realised when you made the decision to accept the generous relatives offer of paying for a private education for your child. If the parents are seeing the benefit of their child having a private education and all they have to pay for is the extras they are getting value for money.

OP did realise and can/will pay, up to a point. That doesn't make it ok for his ex to load all sorts of extras on without his consent then leave it for him to keep forking out.

z1a

Does she actually benefit from it being a private school?
One of my (rich) neighbours sent both of their kids to a private school, pure vanity on parents behalf, both kids (now adults) were, and still are thick as swine-poo. failed miserably at exams. I guess parents spent well over £100k for schooling.

pinkshoes

You need to write to your ex stating that you cannot afford the extra curricular activities, so as of Easter she will need to pay for them.

(Can you afford half?)

You also need to write to the school giving them the same notice that you are unable to pay for your daughter's extra curricular activities, so as of Easter any contract for these activities needs to be with your ex.

Does she like the school? Are there any good state schools she could go to?