Parents not replying to party invites

Spendless

suejb2 wrote: »

I never ever had parties at places where you had to have a minimum amount going. You end up paying for 15 places when only 7 turned up.
I invited children to be there at ? O'clock until ? O'clock and whoever turned up I paid for,hey you 'miss out' on the organised party and food but in my opinion that were dire anyway. Have you got time to cancel that?
This may end up being an expensive lesson this year but in the jungle of the playground you will need to be strong.

This is exactly what I went to doing after DD's disastraous 7th birthday party. I'd book an event eg bowling that didn't take a deposit. I'd have the kids turn up at my house, then we'd take whoever arrived to the place, afterwards we'd call in a McDs or KFC, or maybe take one home to where the cake would be.

OP- I think your party is further 'complicated' by being December and close to Christmas. My friend with 2 Dec born children, one only a few days before Xmas day, used to complain about people letting her down too. The very last party she had before her boys outgrew them, she had a joint party at the end of November instead.

luxor4t

OP, my 'baby' is 27 and it is disheartening to learn that this still happens!

I'd booked the local swimming pool, and just 4 parents bothered to respond - two to say they couldn't come. That was one of the last 'outside' parties that had to be fixed up in advance. I just couldn't understand the dismissive attitude "oh, yes, I'm not sure right now, I''ll get back to you" just 2 days before the event!

tibawo

Being a single mum I love as much notice as possible so it gives me chance to organise 'our' activities etc. especially in the run up to Xmas. About 90% of the time I respond straight away but must admit sometimes I forget and need a gentle nudge


I think it is rude not letting people know either way. I still remember DD2 was invited to a party at a play centre and she asked if DD1 wanted to stay. I was about to say no as my girls have to learn about etiquette when she continued to tell me that her daughter was a little upset at the no shows and I would be doing her a favour. I really felt for the little girl.


So agree that you may nee to nudge people and just put it as you need to finalise numbers.

Newly_retired

As well as all the excellent advice already given, I think it is inappropriate to ask the teacher to give out invitations. It is not her job, nor part of school life. I just hope this meant that the whole class was invited, as to ask the teacher to be selective in giving out letters is even more inappropriate.
As others have said, keep it small and stick to children of parents you actually know and can therefore easily contact.
A steep learning curve for you.

Newly_retired

I could also add that the last party I gave, to adults, in my own home, two people did not reply, two said yes but then were ill so could not come, two said yes then did not turn up, and three did reply and did turn up. That's life. Planned for 12 ( three of us plus guests), ended up with a total of six, and lots of spare food left over.

kerri_gt

OP I think you need to contact the parents direct and ask, who knows, you might make a couple of new friends / acquaintances yourself out of it.
Whilst I do think it is rude that people don't rsvp, that is assuming the parents have actually got the invites passed from child to child to parent, or teachers child to parent - with small children involved it's not inconceivable that invites have not even made it to the parents in question.
Hope it all works out ok for you.

onlyroz

For future ref, my daughter has a late December birthday. She’s only had one party but I arranged it for the first weekend after the term started in January. And I only invited 10 kids and not the whole class. Far less stressful and far fewer people to chase up.

janninew

I've got recent experience with this OP, having organised a similar party for a week ago. Had it at our local soft play with 10 being the minimum and I invited 15. I was getting worried a week before when I had a flurry of rsvp's. In the end I only had 2 who I hadn't heard from so I didn't include them, I wasn't paying £30.00 for those 2 children if they weren't coming and luckily they didn't come!

Time of year isn't great but can't be helped, people are busy in December with various bits going on. If I were you I'd start asking people at school drop off, pick up times. I've overheard a few mums do this in the playground.

Don't envy you OP, it is stressful organising a kids party!

Good luck.

fabforty

peachyprice wrote: »

This exactly.

OP, 4 weeks in advance was probably far too early to have sent out invites, there are probably quite a few people who don't plan that far in advance and can't answer either way yet, especially coming up to Christmas. I would hold on for now and re-send them 10 days - 1 week before the party.

I do feel your pain, my daughter's birthday is in the summer hols, I soon learnt to have her party before they broke up!

I must say that I disagree with this. I think most people know already if they are free on a particular date four weeks away - you either have something already arranged on the date or you don't. This smacks of 'I'll wait to see if I get a better offer in the meantime', which is not the same thing as being unavailable. Getting an invitation 7-10 days before the date is more problematic, as you are more likely to have something else arranged and less time to make alternative arrangements, swap work days, arrange childcare etc.
OP - it's annoying but it happens, I have had this two years in a row and had to approach parents and just ask outright - is x coming or not? Even an 'I'm not sure yet because..... but will let you know by x date' is better than the outright rudeness of not responding.

sulkisu

fabforty wrote: »

I must say that I disagree with this. I think most people know already if they are free on a particular date four weeks away - you either have something already arranged on the date or you don't. This smacks of 'I'll wait to see if I get a better offer in the meantime', which is not the same thing as being unavailable. Getting an invitation 7-10 days before the date is more problematic, as you are more likely to have something else arranged and less time to make alternative arrangements, swap work days, arrange childcare etc.
OP - it's annoying but it happens, I have had this two years in a row and had to approach parents and just ask outright - is x coming or not? Even an 'I'm not sure yet because..... but will let you know by x date' is better than the outright rudeness of not responding.

I think sometimes there is definitely a bit of 'keeping your options open' going on. DS1 had a party in January, and a number of parents hadn't replied. I caught up with one who said that she was waiting to see if another child was having a party - as their birthday was the same weekend. Another mum was waiting until nearer the time to see if she felt like 'dragging her child to yet another party'!! :mad: