Parents not replying to party invites

fraz_babe

Hi all

Just posting as I am concerned at the lack of replies I have received. I have invited 20 children from my sons school at £11 per head for the play area I need to know numbers ideally in case I need pay extra in advance ( not a problem just like to be organised)

Now one is parent to 3 of the children invited her 3 cant make it
2 are confirmed
1 has replied saying cant make it.

So that leaves me not knowing if the other 14 can make it or not. I understand probably not everyone will reply which I do find extremely rude.

Minimum booking for the party was 10 .. we have no where near I feel like cancelling and I have been crying today silly I know!!

Now I was thinking of sending another lot of invites out with a polite note could parents please let me know either way by such a date. Party is 1 week before Christmas so I appreciate parents will be busy but even a quick text saying cant make it would be much appreciated.

2 of the children invited have told my son
1, cant come as he is going on holiday
2, he cant come as his mum wont let him

A teacher passed on 10 of the invites out of behalf of my son my son give out the other 10 so I don't know whether or not to send another invite out in case parents haven't received them if they've got lost by the child but ask the teacher give them all out this time if possible.

Sorry I am so concerned about lack of numbers. I wont bother again with a party. Gutted for my son to say the least. Of course hard time of year near Christmas but even a no would be appreciated.

Many thanks for any advise given I am not sure how much longer to wait I am just concerned with it being close to Christmas families will be busy anyway so if I do send out another lot of invites to prompt/remind/ in case first ones were lost when to do it.

thank you I just want my son have some friends to be able attend his party even 2-3 would be lovely.

I know I could ask the parents myself but I am not very confident to go and ask in all honesty. I guess if worse comes to worse I will have to.

Saver-upper

Aww,bless you fraz-babe.I have 4 children,and it has always been my nightmare that nobody turns up for my children's party .
I don't think anyone would be offended if you asked them in person.You sound a bit shy to do this,but,honestly,I don't think anyone could take offence with you saying "hey,I wonder if (your child) is able to come to the party.I just need to know numbers to confirm with the venue by next week".At that point,some will say yes/no, others will say "Oh!I haven't seen the invitation.I will check the bottom of his bag" :rotfl::rotfl:(Ask me how I know..........)
You could re-issue invites,but I really don't think you need to.
Of those who have told your son "yes",I would also get confirmation from the parents.
Organising parties for lots of kids like this is a nightmare.I was pleased when kids got older,and invited a few kids for a pizza/sleepover.Even now,before planning a party,I ask parents whether their child would be around for a party/sleepover etc on a particular date.The thought of planning a kid's party but nobody being able to accept has always made me sad,so,now that I don't feel obliged to invite whole classes,I plan the party according to when people can make it .
Good luck,and be brave.I hope your son has a fab time :bdaycake:.

CKhalvashi

I read it actually as the OP would be paying it but didn't want to book 18-ish (brain is too tired to read back through) places if only 10 were going to come.

If that, I agree it's rudeness. If OP is expecting other parents to pay then I agree this is completely unacceptable and can understand the lack of response.

Spendless

Feel your pain. I stopped paying for parties like this after my daughter's 7th due to this very thing. I'd had to pay in advance at the most expensive place in town (it was new so kids wanted to try it) only to have no-showers, people not tellling me or cancelling at last minute. If you are in the playground , I'd go approaching the parents to ask.

thorsoak

Are you expecting the parents to pay for their child/children to attend this party?

katglasgow

Do you have any of the parents mobile numbers to text? I think you either need to just ask the parents if you can make it or not it's not sure to do that but you need to know where the numbers are. Personally if it was me I would change the booking now to the minimum of 10 anyway if more happened to turn up it could be dealt with on the day. It is very rude not to.RSVP but so e.times there is a reason why e.g. i vote went missing or major .familyt.crisis and they forgot it does happen quite a lot. I am sure the party will be great though x

jackyann

Oh fraz, I am assuming you are paying for this. And yes, I do think that you have to walk up to someone and ask, in explaining the need to know, you can make it clear 'I have to pay for the numbers who are coming' so they know the set up.
If this was my own party, then I would be quite harsh (and have been!) but of course you have to do your best for your son.
Lesson to be learned:
1. Be clear about deadline on the invitation (in fact, make it 2-3 days earlier!)
2.Do be clear about payment - if there is even a slight doubt that parents might be expected to pay, they will feel uncomfortable. It is not easy to say 'hey everyone, don't worry, we're not expecting you to pay!' - but you can add a little bit saying 'need to know by deadline so I pay the correct amount' or something similar so parents know.
3. Consider - as I did (all of my kids are Dec/Jan!) - a summer party when all can play outside (home or local park) so you are not crowding Xmas time either for expense or number of invitations. Call it 'breaking up from school party' - or - the one I found best 'day before return to school party' although I did know where to find all the kids that were invited - I didn't have to rely on teachers.
4. I know it is more difficult these days, but putting invitations through doors, or handing them out to the adults at the school gate gets a MUCH better response.

I do hope that you can sort something out - if it is a problem then be brave and explain to your son that it can be a difficult time of year, and talk about what might be done another time. I wonder if a few friends could just come to tea?

unforeseen

thorsoak wrote: »

Are you expecting the parents to pay for their child/children to attend this party?

As having to pay extra in advance is mentioned in the OP then it is safe to assume that she is paying

Fireflyaway

Had to jump on and say a few words on this one! The same happened to me. I find it extremely rude. You spend money and time on people and they don't even acknowledge you. Fine if they can't make it but at least say so! Argh!
Like you I needed to know numbers. I'd booked a face painter who charged by the hour. Did I pay for one or two hours? Then party bags. Didn't want to spend money on bags that wouldn't be claimed, nor look stingy if I didn't have enough. In the end I booked the painter for 1 hour and let the people who replied have a turn. If there was time left the others could also and if we ran out of time then tough, some kids were left out.
Did your invite have a RSVP date? Even that doesn't always work anyway! What I did when this happened to me was to approach any parents I knew ( not friends, just knew by sight- that's Bob's mum etc) and ask if they had received the invite as sometimes the kids might forget to hand it over / drop them etc. ( code for ' I know you just don't have the manners to reply').
Try not to worry though. Most parents of small kids will be happy to offload them on you for a couple of hours so I'm sure they will come! I felt the same worries, will anyone come, does my child have any friends, is it me they don't like etc!
These people are the same people who ignore you when you stop for them at a pedestrian crossing. They must know you stopped ; who would walk out in front of a speeding car? But they are too arrogant to acknowledge you, let alone say thanks!
As you can see, lack of manners really annoys me!
It will work out in the end. You will swear never to do it again then next year you will!
Good luck x

daveyjp

Did the invite state you needed to know by a certain date?

People are busy. Knowing whether they can attend an event 4 weeks in advance may simply be too far ahead and parents may wait until a few days before the event before deciding.

warby68

Plenty of experience

I'm afraid you might just have to pluck up your courage and ask around.

Some parents are rude but forgetfulness, miscommunication (via child), distraction and lost invitations are all equal culprits for that age group.

You've chosen a bad time for all of that unfortunately ( and I have a son with a Christmas birthday - we always did mid Jan after return to school) so even more probable that asking is the only realistic option. But its also a good time for parents needing a bit of childfree time as well so I bet you get the numbers.

The hard-faced ones won't care and the genuine ones will be glad of the nudge - just ask and when you get a nice one or the mum who is 'well-connected' ask them to also ask around. Leave your mobile number with those you can. Its good to have a few playground 'contacts'. I understand shyness but for the most part people are usually ok when you take the chance and direct contact is always the most efficient. Its tricky when you don't know who is who when you haven't invited the whole class but start off with one you do know and then ask them if they know any of the others. Once you have enough 'yesses' stop worrying!

Good luck