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Boyfriend
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MsCooper
Posts: 8 Forumite
Hi all,
Not sure if this post is ok for posting it here? But anyway I have a boyfriend and I have been with him for two months. He has told some lies about his work. He first told me he was developing property with his father and he was self employed and successful! so I thought great, someone who is self employed like me who is successful!
Later in the relationship he said he used to do up property before he got ill, he basically was involved in a car accident that put him into a coma at the age of 21! he said it gave him brain damage, he had to learn how to talk, walk and eat! so this was 10 years ago! he said he was a level 3 qualified electrician and he didn't do properties anymore as in 2007 the market crashed and they lost a lot of money.
I found out three weeks ago he is on disability benefit!! and he said he should of came off it 3 years ago but didn't and he didn't give me a reason why. He gets his rent paid for him £850 for a 1 bedroom house he lives in. His car is paid for it is a Mercedes c class amg sport car. He said he does cash in jobs to top up his income on top of the benefits as he does not get any income from the benefits. Then he lied about that and said he does get money from them which helps with food etc. He pays £70 a month out of it to Sky TV which is a awful amount of money for crap tv, he doesn't watch much tv. He always eats out every morning and lunch time he can't cook and wont.
Trying not to be too negative. But because he has lied to me about his job I have tried to push him into coming off it and getting some goals in place for his future and look for jobs! and he said he does want to come off it! I said Electricians can earn decent money, he is 33 and going no where in life! its quite sad actually. He is nice and I enjoy spending time with him but disappointed with the current situation as I am not 22 anymore I'm going to be 33 and I need someone who wants to buy a property with me in the future!
He said he had £30k to buy property he hasn't! he lied about that. We were talking about the future here as I thought he was on the same wave length as me. He has no savings what so ever and I think he plans to live off the dole forever. I said the best option would be is to move back to your parents and come off with slowly and live a normal life like everyone else does! he moaned about having to buy a car and paying insurance and wouldn't have a flashy car!
Anyway apart from that my question is, do people ever come off this sort of thing? I have now told him I can no longer help him he has to help himself.
Not sure if this post is ok for posting it here? But anyway I have a boyfriend and I have been with him for two months. He has told some lies about his work. He first told me he was developing property with his father and he was self employed and successful! so I thought great, someone who is self employed like me who is successful!
Later in the relationship he said he used to do up property before he got ill, he basically was involved in a car accident that put him into a coma at the age of 21! he said it gave him brain damage, he had to learn how to talk, walk and eat! so this was 10 years ago! he said he was a level 3 qualified electrician and he didn't do properties anymore as in 2007 the market crashed and they lost a lot of money.
I found out three weeks ago he is on disability benefit!! and he said he should of came off it 3 years ago but didn't and he didn't give me a reason why. He gets his rent paid for him £850 for a 1 bedroom house he lives in. His car is paid for it is a Mercedes c class amg sport car. He said he does cash in jobs to top up his income on top of the benefits as he does not get any income from the benefits. Then he lied about that and said he does get money from them which helps with food etc. He pays £70 a month out of it to Sky TV which is a awful amount of money for crap tv, he doesn't watch much tv. He always eats out every morning and lunch time he can't cook and wont.
Trying not to be too negative. But because he has lied to me about his job I have tried to push him into coming off it and getting some goals in place for his future and look for jobs! and he said he does want to come off it! I said Electricians can earn decent money, he is 33 and going no where in life! its quite sad actually. He is nice and I enjoy spending time with him but disappointed with the current situation as I am not 22 anymore I'm going to be 33 and I need someone who wants to buy a property with me in the future!
He said he had £30k to buy property he hasn't! he lied about that. We were talking about the future here as I thought he was on the same wave length as me. He has no savings what so ever and I think he plans to live off the dole forever. I said the best option would be is to move back to your parents and come off with slowly and live a normal life like everyone else does! he moaned about having to buy a car and paying insurance and wouldn't have a flashy car!
Anyway apart from that my question is, do people ever come off this sort of thing? I have now told him I can no longer help him he has to help himself.
0
Comments
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Without commenting on your specific question, I would ask you whether you want to be with - long or short term - someone who lies to you from the very beginning of the relationship whilst admitting that they commit benefit fraud.0
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gettingtheresometime wrote: »Without commenting on your specific question, I would ask you whether you want to be with - long or short term - someone who lies to you from the very beginning of the relationship whilst admitting that they commit benefit fraud.
Not even going into this guy's refusal to go off the dole, his lack of savings at the age of 33, and his expensive dining and entertainment habits.
OP: I'm not yet 30, but there's still a lot of living ahead of you to not go for this 'last resort'... I suppose the first question would be to ask yourself what benefits do you get from him in 5-10-20-30 years?0 -
If I were you I would not have anything to do with this low life.
He knows he is claiming money which he is not entitled to.
The question you need to ask yourself is that all his fraudulent money maybe implicate you in the long run and how will that make you feel.
I am sure you have more self respect than associating yourself with someone like that.0 -
He's lied to you from the outset so you have no way of knowing which parts of his story are genuine and which aren't. He clearly lives in a fantasy land and you need to remove yourself from his influence as quickly as possible. The only result otherwise is that he will drag you down with him.
If you really want to do him a long term favour, report him to DWP. If half of what he claims to be scamming from you and me is true, it's the very least he deserves.0 -
Nobody needs a liar in their lives. You can change most things about somebody - but you can never change a liar.
And, once they know you believe/accept their lies, they get bigger and bigger ... until one day you uncover a HIDEOUS lie ....
You'll wake up one morning with the front lawn trampled down from the rush of Daily Mail photographers ....0 -
Please read the other thread about the man about to go jail for benefit fraud. That could be your boyfriend soon.He said he does cash in jobs to top up his income on top of the benefits0 -
Thank you for all of your replies. I will have to break it off with him at some point. I asked him on Monday if he was looking for jobs and he said he would only go for a £25-30k job otherwise no point! I kind of gathered he wont come off the dole because its too good and he said he was on a good 'thing'! that obviously gave me the answer...0
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Think this would be better on the marriages board.0
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Hi all,
Not sure if this post is ok for posting it here? But anyway I have a boyfriend and I have been with him for two months. He has told some lies about his work. He first told me he was developing property with his father and he was self employed and successful! so I thought great, someone who is self employed like me who is successful!
Later in the relationship he said he used to do up property before he got ill, he basically was involved in a car accident that put him into a coma at the age of 21! he said it gave him brain damage, he had to learn how to talk, walk and eat! so this was 10 years ago! he said he was a level 3 qualified electrician and he didn't do properties anymore as in 2007 the market crashed and they lost a lot of money.
I found out three weeks ago he is on disability benefit!! and he said he should of came off it 3 years ago but didn't and he didn't give me a reason why. He gets his rent paid for him £850 for a 1 bedroom house he lives in. His car is paid for it is a Mercedes c class amg sport car. He said he does cash in jobs to top up his income on top of the benefits as he does not get any income from the benefits. Then he lied about that and said he does get money from them which helps with food etc. He pays £70 a month out of it to Sky TV which is a awful amount of money for crap tv, he doesn't watch much tv. He always eats out every morning and lunch time he can't cook and wont.
Trying not to be too negative. But because he has lied to me about his job I have tried to push him into coming off it and getting some goals in place for his future and look for jobs! and he said he does want to come off it! I said Electricians can earn decent money, he is 33 and going no where in life! its quite sad actually. He is nice and I enjoy spending time with him but disappointed with the current situation as I am not 22 anymore I'm going to be 33 and I need someone who wants to buy a property with me in the future!
He said he had £30k to buy property he hasn't! he lied about that. We were talking about the future here as I thought he was on the same wave length as me. He has no savings what so ever and I think he plans to live off the dole forever. I said the best option would be is to move back to your parents and come off with slowly and live a normal life like everyone else does! he moaned about having to buy a car and paying insurance and wouldn't have a flashy car!
Anyway apart from that my question is, do people ever come off this sort of thing? I have now told him I can no longer help him he has to help himself.
People can and do come off benefits, but I doubt if your boyfriend will. He's far too comfortable claiming disability when he is no longer entitled. However, when he is moved over to PIP from DLA (which is happening for everyone of working age if in receipt of DLA), then he might have a shock, as he will almost certainly have to attend a face to face medical. Some genuine people are being refused PIP. I don't think that your boyfriend will get it, unless he lies through his teeth - and if that's the case, do you really want to be with him?0 -
One way to get him off it... https://www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud0
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