Separating advice

Locornwall

My partner and I need to separate. We are not married but have 2 children, 3 and 5 years old.

We have a house together with approximately £110000 equity, no debts.

She is being difficult about moving on. One minute she says we need to sell and move on and the next minute she says I should move out and just continue paying the mortgage. I work full time and earn and good income, she works part time.

Can I force a sale based on this situation? If I move out she cannot afford the mortgage etc on her own. I dont think I’m asking much, just my share of the house. No problem paying for the kids. Is there any difference if she’s an EU national?

Savvy_Sue

Whose names are on the mortgage?

TBagpuss

Assuming the house in in joint names, yes, ultimately you can force a sale. However this is expensive and timeconsuming to it is preferable if you can come to an agreement.

I'd advise against moving out until you've got an agreement in place.

Start to think about the practicalities. Is either of you in a position to buy out the other?
If not, assuming that the house were sold and you each have £55K from the equity, will that allow you both to buy? Would a shared ownership property for her be an option, if she won't be in a position to buy otherwise?

Although you are not required to, you could also potentially agree to a delayed sale - for instance, as your younger child is 3, you could agree that the house would be sold once they turn 5 and are in school - presumably at that point your partner might be able to increase her hours and therefore have a higher mortgage capacity.

What are your plans for the children? Are they likely to live with you, with her, or to split their time?

TBagpuss

PS - are you sure she can't afford the mortgage? Has she checked to see what she might be able to claim in benefits or tax credits once you and she are not longer living together? It may be that she could afford the day to day costs, in which case you might feel that allowing her to stay in the house for a limited period, at least until the children are both in school, might be in their interests and a reasonable thing to do.

Locornwall

Thanks, some really good suggesti9ns regarding delaying the sale.

I don’t think she will be financially in a position. Even with, tax credits + child maintenance + her income, would leave her with little for anything else

My main concern was that I couldn’t force her to sell until the kids are 18, that’s 15 years away???

Savvy_Sue

Locornwall wrote: »

My main concern was that I couldn’t force her to sell until the kids are 18, that’s 15 years away???

'Forcing' anything is unlikely to be cheap, and won't help with an ongoing relationship - which, given the children, has to happen in some shape or form.

Also you say she's an EU national, so 'forcing' the sale may lead to her returning to her home country, with your children. Is that OK with you?

Have you tried mediation - not to get back together, but to sort a way forward? She may not be able to think rationally all the time, but going through the options with a neutral third party may help you both work out what's best - primarily for the children.