SEN child not responsible for their actions

Timeflies

I'm pointing out that several of the first responses to this thread gave the "child" mentioned by the OP an identity as a "boy." It's worth thinking about #everydaysexism.

pogofish

The school's duty of care to the OP's child and the SEN child are exactly the same.

They both need to be safe and the school cannot excuse or abrogate that duty in any way.

I would certainly be raising it with the head/governors/local authority and do not accept any settlement that leaves your child in continued danger of assault.

seven-day-weekend

I would take the matter up with parents of other children who have been hurt and if nothing is done to your satisfaction, send the children to a different school (assuming there is one). Their childhood should not be traumatised in this way.

The poor child who has SEN obviously is not coping in mainstream school and should be in a special school, imho.

Comms69

Timeflies wrote: »

I'm pointing out that several of the first responses to this thread gave the "child" mentioned by the OP an identity as a "boy." It's worth thinking about #everydaysexism.

No it's not worth thinking about, it's not sexism.

Tygermoth

Sorry, it is worth thinking about - to assign a gender based on aggressive behaviour.

The OP was very careful to not mention a gender.

GwylimT

OP have the school mentioned SENDIASS? They vary county to county, their main role is to assist parents in getting SEND assessments etc, but in some counties they would advise on how to move forward in your situation as well.

maman

Tygermoth wrote: »

Sorry, it is worth thinking about - to assign a gender based on aggressive behaviour.

The OP was very careful to not mention a gender.

Sorry but I thought I'd responded to this yesterday but can't find the post??


I think because OP's child is a boy I jumped to the wrong conclusion. It's an easy mistake but I'm now wondering why OP was at such great pains to conceal the gender of the 'protagonist'.


In my defence, it can difficult on these boards because some people use such poor grammar that it's sometimes hard to decipher gender or tense or singular from plural.


Incidentally my opinion (that the school would welcome support in gaining evidence to find the SEN pupil the best placement) would have been the same whatever the gender.

zagfles

iammumtoone wrote: »

Have you been told everything verbally?

Put it in writing via email to the head stating how disapointed you are how this situation is being handled,

Say that you being told (by whom) that the child is not responible for thier actions does not make it ok that they can phycially hurt your child, list what has happend and when. Keep emotion out of it and stick to facts, it may well be that the child can't be responsilble for thier actions but that is not your problem the school need to make sure they have the facilities to accomadate the child.

You need to include the words that this is a formal complaint and you want to know how they intend to make sure your child is kept safe.

If you dont get a satifactory response take it to the governers but you have to give the school chance to sort first (in writing).

How old is your child?

Yes, this is basically what a friend of ours did in a similar situation, see also https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/education/school-education/problems-at-school/

But it did take a while to resolve - the system is totally screwed, apparently it's better that 30 children are put at risk of violence and disrupted education, than one child with "special needs" isn't excluded from mainstream education. Adults wouldn't put up with a violent mentally ill work colleague hitting them every day, yet children are often expected to.

MothballsWallet

DigForVictory wrote: »

Write to your chairperson of the board of governors. If you don't know their name, ask a school secretary - someone will know. Ask when next Governors meet. Might be finance or estates or might be a full committee - but take a note of the date.

Write a short simple statement-packed letter, finishing with the reminder that school acts in loco parentis in your absence and you as a parent are not happy at the way things are proceeding currently.

Take a copy of it (or three) to the school gates & see if other parents agree enough to use it themselves. (If your letter includes your email address, you can offer to email it around.)

Get as many letters in to the governors before the meeting date as you can. All the best!

And in loco parentis covers the time is travelling between home and school (Ofsted guidance was changed about 5 years ago, iirc).

It might be an idea to point out that, at the moment, the SEN child is doing things on school property: one day they could do something that hurts another person while outside the school and, at that point, the police will be involved.

Dark_Star

Has anyone actually thought about how the SEN child & it's parents feel about all this?
They may not have had a choice over the school; or have been denied a "special" school if the SEN were considered manageable in a mainstream school.
They are probably more than aware of what their child does & are powerless to stop them (short of volunteering in a classroom all day).
I do disagree with the "no reprimanding" as all children no matter what age/IQ can comprehend the word NO & I wonder if the info over this has been miscommunicated.
The parents are probably being ignored at the school gate & only too aware of the mutterings of being THAT child's parents.
Some SEN's are not obvious & it could be - possibly - some sort of developmental delay e.g. child is 6 but mentally assessed as 3 or 4 - that's still in prime toddler biting time for SOME children & no, they don't ALL know that it's wrong to bite/hit/whatever ....no idea if this is the case but without knowing the SEN condition then I don't think anyone can judge.
I also doubt that poor child is getting invited on any playdates. Well unless it's invited over to tea how ARE you going to get to know them? (can always invite their parent(s) too - bet they'd love a chance to get to know other parents & put their side forward).
I fully expect to be shot down in flames for the mere suggestion of thinking about the child & it's parents but put yourselves in their shoes ....new school, new area, no friends - that can upset the average child let alone one that may not cope well with change on top of whatever SEN they have.

Go on - be nice - it's half term - invite them over...have courage & be kind.