Starting over...

Kitten868

Hello there,

I could have sworn I had commented on your diary before. Wow you've changed since I last read it.

I think losing your job is brilliant news - it does fit in with your plans BUT now you have to stick to it. Have more faith in yourself - in Ireland you were running your own business and driving a million miles a day to make it work! You were a one woman whirlwind. As you say in England we are much more densely populated: you can run your business without all the hours driving. I think chasing the singing will reap real dividends when you want to move on to the event planning side of things as you'll have the contacts and network built up again. OR go for the event planning and marketing roles now. You need to work out what you want to do next but more than that believe in yourself as you have the strength and determination to do it.

And please tell me did that Irish wedding cancellation ever refund you that €550? It's been bugging me xxxx

ladymay

Hi Kitten! Thank you for the lovely words of encouragement. Most of me agrees with you; the rest of me is terrified! But I've never been one to let crippling fear stop me from doing anything :rotfl: Still no refund from the wedding fair company - I chase it up every now and then and get the standard "it's not our normal policy and we're making an exception for you so we'll get it to you when we can"... annoyingly, while it'd be really handy to have back, it's not quite enough to warrant faffing about with courts. I've basically written it off at this point and it'll be a nice surprise if I ever see it again. A small part of me wants to slate the person involved all over her business pages, but a) I know it could bite me in the behind, and b) it'd make me feel awful because it's not something I'd be comfortable doing. Actually, I need to email her because I'm closing my Irish account - thanks for the reminder!

I'm starting to get really excited about next year! I have to sort out where my money is coming from first and foremost, but I've got some fun projects ahead - one of my best friends is also a professional singer (we trained together at drama school) and we're putting together an act, I'm launching a new website in January (related to my singing but more community based), and I'm trying to get my first picture book published. Somewhere in there I suppose I need a life as well

I had another nice nursing home show today - the lady who booked me was really happy and has promised she'll call tomorrow with NINE dates for next year :T I'm pretty sure she's hankering after a discount but we'll see what happens. I've told her if she can guarantee a booking every month we can talk about price...

Really productive afternoon and evening - I'VE PAID MY IRISH TAX RETURN!!! Ooooo, it hurt!! But it's done and I don't have to worry about it any more so yay! Started on my UK tac return - I won't have any tax to pay because I didn't earn much before April - only to find they've taken me off Self-Assessment due to not earning in the UK for the past couple of years. Once I've got it up and running again I'll get that sorted straight away, then that's another big tick on my list.

I've also applied for funding for a course on Dementia Care - not exactly the business course I was looking for (ha!), but it's only a few months long and I think it'll be a huge asset in my work. What else have I done? Made butternut squash and sweet potato soup (yum!) and roasted the seeds, emailed a contact at the local business agency to see if I qualify for the free business mentoring, signed up to a networking event for wedding suppliers.

Only spend was on loo roll (an essential, I think we can all agree).

Today has been a good day. Time for some Making A Murderer and a salted caramel hot chocolate.

Night all xx

ladymay

Morning all!

Yesterday was good - lovely gig with a follow up gig booked in, and last night I relaxed with some Netflix. Horrible dreams though - I was paralyzed and numb and the doctor was taking strips off my skin and stabbing my arm to see if I really was numb. All the while my ex and his family were just tutting at me... Very odd!

Busy day today before my personal day tomorrow :

- gig
- menu plan for the week
- shopping
- transfer some savings into current account Already done
- buy domain names for new venture Already done
- check eb@y account is secure Already done - they know it's not me trying to sell a mechanical saw!
- sort out eligibility for course I've applied for
- look through bunch of new music
- go through everything to be sold
- call local venues that hold jazz nights
- laundry

Have a good day everyone!

ladymay

The personal day isn't happening :rotfl: I have a lot of personal time already allocated this month, what with a visit from my American friend including a trip to London AND a free cruise, so I'm going to stay in and knuckle down with some work today. I did, however, treat myself to a lovely lie in!

I have a long old list for November (HOW IS IT NOVEMBER???):

Life:
- Put all the things up for sale that have been lurking for months
- Keep looking for chair for reading nook
- Go through all files on hard drive
- Practice my French
- Sort out phone storage
- All Christmas and birthday shopping
- Sort out Christmas budget

Work:
- UK tax return
- Sort music for Christmas shows
- Sell last few slots for Christmas show
- Research agencies for future work
- Work out Social Media strategy
- Find business courses
- Practice tons of new music
- Edit video from gig I recorded months ago
- Compile all publicity photos
- Buy reverb pedal
- Research in-ear monitors
- Research website hosting options
- Create new website
- Contact local venues which hold jazz nights

Oooooo boy!

ladymay

Morning all! Started to get all the saleable items up online - my bedroom is a total bombsite while I'm sorting everything out :eek: There are some things that I have to keep that will be boxed up, like old tax records, but other than that by Monday everything will either have somewhere to live or be online waiting to a new home. Any extra cash would of course be handy, but mostly I'm just sick of having too much stuff!

Off to Exeter with the mothership this afternoon to get ideas for Christmas pressies and check out some vintage haunts, main plan for this morning is to catch up with finances so I can make a plan for present budgets

Happy Friday! xx

ladymay

The dreaded figures... To help me, I've colour-coded everything!
On track
Waaaaatch it
NOT GOOD, will definitely go over budget

Accommodation: 1600 / 800 / 800
Gifts: 500 / 155.31 / 344.69
Clothing: 100 / 24.34 / 75.66
Hair and beauty: 50 / 22 / 28
Health: 20 / 18.80 / 1.20
Furniture: 100 / 5 / 95
Groceries: 400 / 340.90 / 59.10
Fuel: 350 / 255.52 / 94.48
Phone: 40 / 30 / 10
Insurance: 56.51 / 56.51 / 0
Business: 300 / 166.96 / 133.04
0% CC: 168 / 84 / 84
Misc / contingency: 200 / 197.69 / 2.31

Total: 3884.51 / 2007.03 / 1877.48

Outside of rent, I basically have a grand to last me for the rest of the year. Should be fine, although looking at my figures I need to shift my budgets around a fair bit...

ladymay

Well, a nice day was had by all today, although Mum was very tired by the time I dropped her off. She's recently found out she now has arthritis in her shoulders and neck to add to the wrists, ankles and knee (only one now that the other one's bionic ) and she has to go through the dreaded PIP process... I'm going to help her with the forms but I've asked her if she can find an advocate from one of the support groups she's involved with to go to her interview. Obviously I'll go with her if needed, but neither of us know this process at all and I'm nervous about it all.

She's also been having lots of digestive problems recently and has been told by her doctor to cut out gluten for a while and keep a food diary. I'm really glad I'm moving to land-based work, because I think she's going to become more reliant on me and the car next year. I'm taking her food shopping on Monday because she can't carry heavy bags any more, and we need to go to L!dl to check out their GF range.

I also found out today that she's surviving on housing benefit and ESA alone (apparently we're the only council without UC?) and that her anxiety is getting worse. I need to make the music work next year; it's becoming increasingly clear I need to be around a lot more.

Despite this, we had a lovely afternoon pootling round. First couple of little presents are sorted, along with some cards and some ideas for more presents. I also went to a really old haunt of mine called The Real McCoy, which is where I bought my first item of vintage clothing nearly 20 years ago :eek::eek::eek: and where I first fell in love with the scene. Down the road from there is another vintage shop where I left some business cards and had a lovely chat with the owner. Then I treated Mum and myself to dinner out - Mum HATES taking money from me, but she's happy for me to pay the tab :rotfl:

One other thing I found out today is that Mum has bought a tonne of old sheet music for me for next to nothing - it's all stuff from the 20's - 40's, and while some of it isn't salvageable, a lot of it is in near mint condition. They're all individual songs with attractive covers so when I have time (HA!) I'm going to start framing them to sell as quirky pictures.

Business-wise, it's been a good day too - my enrolment on the Dementia Care course was confirmed (as long as I don't drop out, it's totally free), I've booked in my first session of business advice with the local development agency (also free), and I've booked in four wedding fairs for free, in exchange for singing at a Christmas fair (which I would've done for free anyway for the publicity :T) I definitely have a few more slots left for Christmas shows, must crack on with selling them on Monday...

Plans for tomorrow:

- Work out; honestly, nothing fits atm (she say, drinking cider and eating 75% off Halloween chocolate...)
- Take photos and write descriptions of everything to be sold on Sunday
- Tidy room so I'm not constantly tripping over the things I need to sell
- Make playlist of all the songs I have to learn over the next four weeks and stick on repeat
- Sort out calendar and make sure it's up to date
- Wrap cousin's birthday present and write card ready for Sunday
- Head to The R@nge to buy surgical spirit and look for potential pressies
- Rub down walls with said spirit and put up some of the dozens of pictures cluttering the place up
- Make veggie shepherd's ie and batch of bean chilli to save me cooking for the next few days

My tinitus is playing up tonight, so plan is to just relax with a pint :beer: and some chocolate, and slob in front of Netflix. II'm already sleepy so fingers crossed for some good rest...

Night all xx

ladymay

- Work out; honestly, nothing fits atm (she say, drinking cider and eating 75% off Halloween chocolate...)
- Take photos and write descriptions of everything to be sold on Sunday
- Tidy room so I'm not constantly tripping over the things I need to sell
- Make playlist of all the songs I have to learn over the next four weeks and stick on repeat
- Sort out calendar and make sure it's up to date
- Wrap cousin's birthday present and write card ready for Sunday
- Head to The R@nge to buy surgical spirit and look for potential pressies
- Rub down walls with said spirit and put up some of the dozens of pictures cluttering the place up
- Make veggie shepherd's ie and batch of bean chilli to save me cooking for the next few days

ALL DONE

Today was just lovely until a few moments ago.... sorted Mum out with something she needed help with, did my UK tax return to find I only owe £35 in Class 2 contributions, went to my cousin's to hang out for a bit and drink tea....

I also emailed the lady who owes me money this morning, basically asking her to pay by the end of the year or I would be forced to make a claim in the small claims court against her (the system in Ireland is almost identical). I checked all my paperwork and there's no mention of refund policy anywhere, so I asked a friend's son (who happens to be a contract solicitor in Ireland) and he informed me that if there's no policy in any of my paperwork, then I'm fully entitled to my money back.

The reply I got went along the lines of: Maybe you think I'm made of money, but I'm not. My husband's a student, I have two small children, I run a small business and don't have a penny spare to pay you. If you want to repay my kindness (re: the promise of refund, I presume) with taking me to court, I'll see you there.

I have such mixed emotions right now with no idea how to process them. Part of me empathises - it's tough to make a small business work. But I don't have my own place to live because I can't afford it. I'd love to have a child more than anything in the world, but I can't afford to. I'm out of a job as of January and have to take my business from 25% of my income to 100%, and this money would be so handy right now. And I'm angry. She's had FIFTEEN MONTHS to sort this out.

Part of me just wants to drop it, but it'll feel like I've lost a battle. The two of us used to be very friendly, and I was a very loyal client of hers who was incredibly reliable when it came to payment.

I really don't know what to do at this point...

ladymay

Well, all that nervous energy spill has left me feeling pretty tired! I really hope my brain doesn't keep me awake tonight

Busy day tomorrow - Got to keep on with learning the new songs, two gigs, I need to take mum shopping and then blitz the flat ready for when my friend arrives from America on Tuesday.

Going to get into my pj's, drink hot chocolate and put bits and bobs up online for sale while watching something trashy

ladymay

Had a very odd day of being both stressed and sad - normally I have one or the other, and each on their own are manageable - and even my nursing home work didn't cheer me up. Aaaaaaaand then I realised I had taken my medication for five days :eek::eek: what an eejit! Which made me feel pretty odd - I need medication to feel normal. I speak to people with mental health issues all the time with my volunteering, so I know this isn't a failure, but boooooooy does it feel like it...

I'm also so annoyed with myself that I haven't gotten further with my actions for next year. When I'm rational, I'm know I have to take time out and that I can't work 24/7, but right now I'm kicking myself.

Tomorrow is another day xx