Are we being unreasonable? Inheritance and houses

hygge123

What evidence do you have to say I've not got on with things?

getmore4less

hygge123 wrote: »

What evidence do you have to say I've not got on with things?

Of course there is none, don't get drawn in by posters that make stuff up.

Yorkshireman99

hygge123 wrote: »

What evidence do you have to say I've not got on with things?

It just seems that three weeks after your original post you have not responded to the good advice you have been given. Given the situation it seems rather odd. Perhaps you would be kind enough to do so as lots of people have taken the trouble to offer advice.

eddyinfreehold

Hygge123

I'm fairly new to this forum too and YM99 has helped me out a fair bit. I'm certain he doesn't need my help, he seems to have a very direct approach and is most often on the button. In this case however I would suggest what he is trying to say is that specialist forums (fora?) like this serve two purposes. Firstly they can give assistance to people who ask direct questions and advice. Secondly, and just as importantly they can serve as an excellent archive and resource, answering questions for people using the search function. They can even show how things change with time.

All I am saying is if and when you have time, it is helpful to let the forum know what your experiences are and whether you have manged to solve or address your issues. By tying up a thread like that a full archive of an event can be searched and referred to in the future. If it is left hanging it is next to useless.

A good example happened to me a month ago. I was trying to find out the fate of some SSE shares which I was sure has been cashed prior to my father's death. I had no evidence. Another board on here was able to tell me from a July 2013 posting why they had been cashed (takeover) and what the price per share was. Knowing this from a tied up message I was able to find a cheque book paying in stub for the exact sum to the penny I was looking for. The message board even told me what date to look for the cheque that was paid in. The value of completing a thread.

Sorry long winded post again.

Margot123

Yorkshireman99 wrote: »

It just seems that three weeks after your original post you have not responded to the good advice you have been given. Given the situation it seems rather odd. Perhaps you would be kind enough to do so as lots of people have taken the trouble to offer advice.

I have recounted my own very bad situation, and can only hope that others learn from it before they make the same mistake of letting their role of sister/brother/cousin /friend/whatever come before that of executor.
Not only have I lost all hope of my inheritance, it has also cost me thousands trying to get hold of it.

hygge123

Thank you all for the help offered. It has been very helpful to see that others don't feel we are being unreasonable - I was starting to doubt myself. Obviously this has not been resolved yet, but my brother and I had a very good meeting with our solicitor (acting for all 3 of us) the other day. It was supposed to be a joint meeting to go through the figures before we both signed the probate forms, but my sister decided at the last minute not to attend. I signed them anyway. It gave us a chance to put our side of the story, and will have given our sister a chance too, as she came in the next day to sign the papers. He didn't feel it was necessary for her to stop being an executor and we decided to take his advice. We won't need to open an executor's account yet, as luckily the solicitor already holds funds from an earlier sale of a house that our late father had done through them, and hadn't had a chance to move elsewhere. So the first lot of IHT can be paid directly from this account, with our joint agreement. The plan is to let the dust settle and see what happens in the next week or so - good advice I think, as so much has happened in the last week, it will be good for all of us to reflect a bit.
Oh - and I've probably spent 20 -30 hours clearing out the house so far - and its a good 2 1/2 journey from home. So to be fair, I think I have been getting on with things!

Yorkshireman99

hygge123 wrote: »

Thank you all for the help offered. It has been very helpful to see that others don't feel we are being unreasonable - I was starting to doubt myself. Obviously this has not been resolved yet, but my brother and I had a very good meeting with our solicitor (acting for all 3 of us) the other day. It was supposed to be a joint meeting to go through the figures before we both signed the probate forms, but my sister decided at the last minute not to attend. I signed them anyway. It gave us a chance to put our side of the story, and will have given our sister a chance too, as she came in the next day to sign the papers. He didn't feel it was necessary for her to stop being an executor and we decided to take his advice. We won't need to open an executor's account yet, as luckily the solicitor already holds funds from an earlier sale of a house that our late father had done through them, and hadn't had a chance to move elsewhere. So the first lot of IHT can be paid directly from this account, with our joint agreement. The plan is to let the dust settle and see what happens in the next week or so - good advice I think, as so much has happened in the last week, it will be good for all of us to reflect a bit.
Oh - and I've probably spent 20 -30 hours clearing out the house so far - and its a good 2 1/2 journey from home. So to be fair, I think I have been getting on with things!

That is encouraging! WIth any luck now your sister will stop playing the fool and the solicitor will stop her doing anything stupid. Keep up the good work.

Jenniefour

hygge123. Thank you for updating us, and pleased to hear you have a solicitor now who can encourage/remind your sister how to move things forward properly, as needed. Might take the heat out of this a bit too. It can be very difficult when someone's behaviour is motivated by personal gain/advantage (or just plain awkwardness) at the expense of carrying out their duties as executor properly. Echo YM - keep up the good work!

eddyinfreehold

Hygge123

Thank you for the update. That seems like some progress at least. I hope it continues well. Just a couple of bits of advice which might avoid future conflict...

So the first lot of IHT can be paid directly from this account, with our joint agreement. The plan is to let the dust settle and see what happens in the next week or so - good advice I think, as so much has happened in the last week, it will be good for all of us to reflect a bit.
Oh - and I've probably spent 20 -30 hours clearing out the house so far - and its a good 2 1/2 journey from home. So to be fair, I think I have been getting on with things!

Firstly make sure the estate has all property and chattels professionally valued by a member of RICS. It might cost, but it will be worth it in the end. Secondly, as you are getting through some cathartic cleaning and clearing make sure your communication with everybody is clear. I wouldn't chuck anything away just in case yet. If another sibling came in and said "what happened to that (stick, stool, jacket" etc) and it had gone then there is another source of conflict. I learned a lot about my brother and sister when we went through that process but we got through it in the end. There would have been a fight if we weren't all there at the same time I think. Emotional attachment has a hold on people that can't be valued.