Possessiveness??

BlondeHeadOn

"It's very well paid, and we live a good life. But this means that I need to do a boring job. dont get me wrong... I'd love to go back to the job I used to do and have fun... but I just wouldn't be able to survive on the money!"

- but if your GF joins the police - or some other better paid job - then you would have more money between you and could afford to take a lesser-paid job that you enjoy. A positive outcome of your GF becoming a policewoman!

I've done both, had a highly-paid job where I could afford everything I ever wanted but hated the job, and a lower-paid job that I love because it's so much fun and never boring .... And guess which one I ended up choosing to do in the long term? Go with the fun one every time!

You are only 27 and not married or have kids, you don't need to tie yourself to a job you don't like just because it pays well. You can have the choice to do what you enjoy too!

:j

tsstss7

Hi Peter

try not to be too hard on yourself ...most people suffer from possessiveness sometimes...it's just important that you have recognised this trait before it causes too much damage. I think the main problem you are having is that you GF is very young and just at a different stage in her life and this threatens you.

You say you have a boring job etc but aren't prepared to take the risk of changing...I hate to point out the obvious but you are only 27...in 5-10 years time you will likely have kids/mortgage and not be able to take risks...if you cannot take them now when can you?

Your relationship may or may not work out ..but you will only have yourself to blame if you miss out on your "freedom years" because you were old too soon, join your GF and have a bit of fun, find your own friends through work, clubs etc or invite old friends to visit - once you start to enjoy yourself more you will not feel so wwill be orried about your GF and more focused on yourself.

Finally your GF might very well be trying to better herself partially to help you. (I'm assuming you live together) as a PC she would be on reasonable money and so be abble to contribute more...maybe allowing you to change if need be!

peterc2609

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mummy_Jay

How about you go and look at either joining a gym or starting an evening class for you.

And for her how about you buy her and a friends of hers tickets to a play, cinema or a gig, show her you do want her to be herself in her own right and that way you do know where she is, why not try it as a first step?

conradmum

There are always going to be better men out there.
YOU are the person she's with and she must love you to have stayed with you even though you've become so possessive.
I think that now you recognise these thoughts and feelings you can make an effort to keep them to yourself and try instead to be loving and supportive.
How about treating her to a bunch of flowers or a meal out and apologise for the way you've been behaving? Tell her you love her and want to support her in whatever she wants to do and that's it's only because you're afraid of losing her that you've been behaving this way - because she's such a great person.
It'll do wonders for your relationship, I promise you!
Relationships where you love, trust and support each other 100% are far more fun than the one you currently have, for both parties!