Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

[Deleted User]

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

I slept much better last night.

I have a counselling assessment this morning which I'm not looking forward to . DH is taking me and will wait, as otherwise I'd have to catch two buses there and back. I still feel tired and wish I had the assessment another day. It's bound to be upsetting and they might turn around and say this type of counselling isn't right for me .

After that I MUST clean out the furry moron and do some laundry. Then later on I have Pilates.

Sounds like quite a day. I hope the counselling assessment goes well and doesn't upset you.


Take care x

elizabethhull

HairyHandofDartmoor wrote: »

And losing my mum sometimes makes everything I do seem a bit pointless anyway .

It was extremely difficult with one clothes horse, but luckily we have two now :T. I have one in the kitchen which is the warmest room in the house due to cooking and good insulation. Like you I turn the washing frequently. I also wash it inside out and after about six hours of drying turn them the right way so the other side can dry. With two clothes horses I can space the laundry out more and so it's drying twice as fast.

Well, Mrs Two-clothes-horses (!), I'm so glad to hear the new horse is proving as useful as you imagined.

As for things seeming pointless since your Mum died, I guess people with a religious faith have an easier answer to that.
I'm an atheist, and I find daily living and loving my family are their own point. You have fingers stretching out into the future with your children, possible partners, maybe children, certainly their friends, and the impact they make on the world. You can't know the effect you and yours have on society, one hopes it is beneficial and that there will be others whose lives are enriched by knowing you.

In this little MSE cosmos, you are an inspiration to many, a comfort that however bad things get there are still people who care, a mine of useful shifts with saving money, a warmth of spirit that shines through. Your family know you love them and want the best for them. Your friends feel cared-for, even strangers (and lurkers) feel there is something here that gets them through hard times. This may be a small world, but maybe some who read are inspired to help others - the paying-it-forward concept - or at the very least find some way to make those around them feel better.

It's a very complicated philosophical point, the purpose of life, and if you find it hard, well philosophers for centuries have found it equally hard! I think we find our own purpose, often in the little things of daily life. You clean your rabbit's hutch, you make his/her life nicer. You wash clothes and everyone has clean laundry. You go for a walk and enjoy the fresh air and reinvigorate yourself.
You think of your mother and are reminded of the love she had for you and how, even though you miss it dreadfully, you were lucky to have it.

Most people have times when they wonder, what's the point of it all, and I firmly believe the answer is the giving and receiving of love. If you have that, whether with family, friends, God or animals, you have an answer.

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you Elizabeth. What you've just said is actually very comforting. I'm an agnostic although I was brought up as a church goer. I wish I did believe in heaven, but at least I don't not believe in it. I like what you said about the giving and receiving of love, even if it just cleaning out a rabbit. That's a simple but very comforting philosophy. Thank you.

HairyHandofDartmoor

The counselling assessment was very upsetting, but I knew it would be. She said I'm not suffering from complicated grief, but I do have a lot of issues to do with bad things that have happened to me to do with the family that need addressing, etc, and I am spread very thin and definitely need counselling. But the service they offer is not suitable.

So she's going to write to my doctor and say I need ordinary counselling. She suggested private counselling, but I said as we can't even pay all of our bills at the moment, that's not an option. So I think I'll be on a long waiting list for NHS counselling, but I'm no worse off than before I went.

It's always upsetting talking about the things you're upset about, obviously, but maybe it helped a bit to get some of it out of my system.

Anyway I'll try and shift my mind onto more mundane but less upsetting matters like housework. My friend can't go to Pilates tonight, but I think I'll go anyway as it'll be a good distraction.

HairyHandofDartmoor

@Carboot Mrs Fussey is a fabulous name. When I was a child our neighbour used to polish her garden gate, wash her nets every week and turn her stair carpet around every six months! She should have been called Mrs Cleans Too Much but wasn't .

My DC had a teacher at school called Mr Nutter, but he seemed fairly sane. My sister used to work with a doctor called Dr Fullalove and she said it was a very appropriate name for him .

please-let-me-be-lucky

Glad you had a nice weekend away and hope the Counselling has helped in some way. Perhaps it might seem as a weight has lifted in the next day or two after getting some things out in the open Xx

HairyHandofDartmoor

please-let-me-be-lucky wrote: »

Glad you had a nice weekend away and hope the Counselling has helped in some way. Perhaps it might seem as a weight has lifted in the next day or two after getting some things out in the open Xx

Thanks Lucky. I think counselling can make you feel worse before it makes you feel better, so hopefully I'll get some longer term benefit from it.

doingitanyway

Hi HH, it sounds as if the counselling identified what you need so that's good (although understandably upsetting)
I hope the NHS can provide you with what you need sometime soon

HairyHandofDartmoor

doingitanyway wrote: »

Hi HH, it sounds as if the counselling identified what you need so that's good (although understandably upsetting)
I hope the NHS can provide you with what you need sometime soon

Thanks DIA . Yes it did identify that I do need counselling. I expect the NHS will get around to it in their own sweet time when budgets allow. It took about a year last time so I'm not expecting it to be particularly quick.

HairyHandofDartmoor

After cleaning out the furry moron, putting laundry on to wash and emptying the overflowing kitchen bins, I felt so exhausted that I decided to skip Pilates. I'll save £5 on the plus side.

An emotional weekend, plus travelling, and an emotional morning seem to have wiped me out! So I'm going to rest this evening (apart from cooking and dishwasher filling etc).

I did get out the advent calendars so DS1 is pleased . We've got one fabric one shaped like a Christmas tree with pockets at the bottom containing fabric decorations, then you put a decoration on the tree each day. The other one is also shaped like a Christmas tree, but has empty pockets that I put chocolate coins in .