Finally Debt Free After 34 Years, But Still Need to Live Frugally

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thanks Wannabe and inod.

I don't know whether he has any credit. I don't think he does. He was talking about taking out a credit card recently, but as far as I know he hasn't got one yet.

DH chatted to DS3 on the way to college this morning and DS3 said he thought it was mainly a social visit, that it was natural for DS2 to want to travel and that he was sensible and wouldn't go to the dangerous parts of New Orleans. DS3 said that DS2 always thinks about things before he does them and that he always has a plan.

So maybe DH and I are underestimating DS2. It's just that he never tells us anything and so in our minds he's the same as he was at 18 .

We will insist that he gives us the address of where he is staying (presumably a hotel) and the name and addressof who he is visiting. I'll also ask him to go online every day and tell us he is safe via FB.

He hasn't even booked his plane ticket yet!

HairyHandofDartmoor

in_need_of_direction wrote: »

That's the problem particularly with adult children. When dd was 20 she went and worked for a charity in ny projects. This year she visited New Orleans for the first time and was grand. Remember, the bits you hear about are always the bad bits. I grew up in belfast, was born at the start of the troubles and things could get hairy but I was always ok. In the early 90s, I had some work in Brixton. My mum, also from belfast, was worried that that was where the riots were!
Has he access to any form of credit either personally or via his on line business?

Thank you INOD that does make me feel a bit better. You must have been so worried when DD went the the NY projects :eek:

You can't stop them can you? You can only give advice and hope that they take it.

DH is going to write down a list of things DH2 needs to know (safety advice etc) and then say to him," you've probably already thought of this, but just in case..."

in_need_of_direction

A friend of mine once told me that you have to trust your children's upbringing. It's too easy for us to underestimate that values that we brought our children up with. DS may be naive but he knows right from wrong. Also, if the only hit he has to take is financial, there's clear evidence on here that people can come back from that. He'll be fine

HairyHandofDartmoor

Thank you INOD . That is very good and thoughtful advice and we will bear that in mind.

I've been for my walk thus morning to help with my stress levels and we're focusing on work for the rest of the day. It should be a NSD apart from DS3's bus fare home and I'm hoping for more surveys.

Have a good Thursday everyone.

beanielou

I hope it goes well for both your DS's.
As you say you never stop worrying about them.
My ds is 24 & still my baby :rotfl:

HairyHandofDartmoor

They will always be our babies beanie :rotfl:.

I feel less anxious about the America trip now because DS2 is going to stay in a hotel which he wants DH to help him book and he's agreed to give us the names and addresses of some of the people he wants to meet. He's also agreed to contact us via FB messenger every day so we know he is safe . DH just helped him apply for a visa type thingy which was approved straight away :T.

So just his travel insurance, hotel and plane to book :eek:.

I did two surveys and cashed out £11 from PA which will end up in Emergency Fund 2 eventually . Didn't feel very focused work-wise, but if DH can get the America stuff sorted tonight then it should be easier to concentrate tomorrow . We also have the accountants chasing us for info, so we need to carry on sorting that out for them tomorrow .

I also did two loads of laundry. At least it dries quicker now we've had to give in and put the heating on.

Willowtree222

I'm sure he will be fine. If he is willing to keep in touch and let you know, it will hopefully reassure you loads. x

HairyHandofDartmoor

I've just posted on your diary Nicnak .

Thank you I do feel less worried now, it's just that he kind of sprang it on us and with everything else that's been going on it seemed too much!

I slept really deeply last night and feel much more able to cope with things today .

Willowtree222

A nice sleep seems to make a lot seem a lot better. x

Sun_Addict

Blimey Hairy, what a lot of stress you've had these past few days Just before he got ill Mr SA fell asleep in a car park and got a £60 fine for going over the 3 hours (he was in his van by the way not just lying down LOL). If only I'd known this was the start of his illness I could've contested it.

I would have mixed feelings about DS going to New Orleans too but it sounds like he's being sensible about it and as long as he keeps in touch you'll be certain he's safe. Sometimes you just have to let them get on with it and learn from their mistakes. It's true you never stop worrying about them no matter how old they get.

I think things might seem worse because it must feel a bit flat after the build up to last weekend.

Glad you got a good night's sleep and things feel less fraught