This Duo's debt free journey

ladymay

Hi DFD, sorry to hear you've been struggling recently. Feeling isolated when you need help is the worst...

With regards to your friends, have you contacted them at all? I had a situation once with my two best friends where I was going through a difficult time and secretly seething - when I got in touch with them they were both going through bigger battles than I was. Once everything was out in the open we were there for each other. Not saying that this is similar at all but if you need help, ask for it xx

DebtFreeDuo

Thanks for stopping by ladymay, I guess it would just be nice to know that they actually care. I haven't spoken to one of them for about a week and I know its very silly but it would be nice to know that they even noticed that I had completely shut myself away and disappeared off the face of the earth. I did see one of my friends today which was nice, I just need to pull myself out of this hold that I'm falling deeper into. I'm not very good at asking for help, especially when I don't completely understand why I need help, my life isn't terrible so it feels completely ridiculous that I'm feeling so down.

Pauper1

DFD, I completely understand where you are coming from. I have a friend that suffers with anxiety who tends to pull away from me when she's going through a bad patch, I suffer with depression and do exactly the same. I always want her to notice when this is happening to me but she doesn't always/usually. She gets wrapped up in her own life and own things. It used to bug me because I feel like I start a convo with her if it's been a few days, but I don't feel like she does the same. I try to let it go these days because I'm probably not as good a friend as I think I am haha. If I were to start the convo and say that I'm struggling, 90% of the time she'd be there. Which is probably similar to me! Anyway, I hope you start to feel better soon, mental health can be so difficult to deal with x

DebtFreeDuo

Thank you Pauper, I guess sometimes we just need a little reminder that people do actually care about us without having to ask. I've reached out to my other friend today and we are going out for a catch up in a couple of days. Growing up my family didn't really talk openly about their feelings and when I could see that my mum was upset she would pretend everything was ok, I think this is probably why I tend to be closed off with my feelings. I'm trying to be different with my DS, I don't let him see the grown up issues but if I am feeling sad then I will talk to him about it, I hope that this will allow him to be more open as he grows up.

I've given myself a little kick today and whilst I'm not quite 100% I am getting there, had a run this morning and that certainly helped so I am going to try and make an effort to do this more, I think being active definitely helps my mental health rather than moping around.

ladymay

Do you think it might be worth talking to a professional about how you're feeling? My area has something called DAS (Depression and Anxiety Service) that you can self refer to. I've got my first appointment when I'm back home on the 19th, it's NHS subsidised so it's free... Not sure if it's countrywide or varies in different regions. Anyway, you might feel it's not for you, just thought I'd put it out there as I've only just found out about it x

Willowtree222

Hi,
Just caught up, and hope that you are okay, and getting the support you need. Anxiety can be all consuming and it doesn't matter what our lives are like, if there is anxiety in there, it can make everything seem like an impossible task.

Agree with the others about getting some professional support. They really can help. x

DebtFreeDuo

I did look in to speaking to someone a couple of years back, it took me a while to find someone that I liked the sound of but she didn't have any room for me. There is a healthy minds thing I believe in my area but the first appointment is over the phone where they assess what you may need and book in further appointments. I don't really like the sound of it as I'm very unlikely to discuss what I might need over the phone to a complete stranger.

I am feeling slightly better so I think I will give it a couple of weeks to see how I get on. I think a very big factor for me at the moment is that I am not taking very good care of myself and so my energy levels are really low. I keep telling myself that I need to get myself into a routine but I never actually do it, I think if I just got on top of my routine then I would immediately feel the difference, its just finding the discipline to stick to it.

DebtFreeDuo

Loan payment was made on 1st which now brings me to 34% cleared. Still on target for debt free by Dec 18.

Willowtree222

34% is huge. That is amazing. x

ladymay

Agree with Niknak completely, congratulations on the new achievement - over a third gone!! :beer: