married to an alcoholic and cant take anymore

easilydistracted

Depending on how bad his emotional abuse is you could get advice from Women's Aid about an occupation order. A counsellor told me a long time ago that even when you are perfectly academically intelligent that doesn't really help in these kinds of situations because they're emotion and not logic problems. Still makes a lot of sense

prosaver

hes drinking cause hes not happy with his life and the alcohol is a release for him.. been there

Top_Girl

forgetfullass wrote: »

I am not going to sell my house. I am going to get him to leave one way of another - if he carried on it will be in a box!

thanks

Then you'll have to buy him out. Unless you're planning on killing him. All the bravado in the world doesn't change that, I'm afraid.


It's rubbish, but from what you've said, it seems a small price to pay to get shut of him.

hazyjo

forgetfullass wrote: »

I'm angry now about selling my house when I don't want to and feel why should I have too. its not about being a 'lovely house' its about it being my home that I have struggled to keep and paid for mostly on my own. on top of this I paid his secured loan when he defaulted in the first year of paying it. 9 years down the line its almost paid - I had no choice. why should he now walk away with 50% - £100K. I wont be able to buy and will have to rent. He will spend him money and then end up claiming HB. I know I shouldn't care but I have worked hard for this house and it makes me angry that I should have to do this.

As I said before he is not physically abusive however there is times that I am scared of him. He gets angry and I leave for a few hours. Its no way to live and something needs to change. I need to change

You will have another home. I still don't get why you're not angrier about the life you currently have. You're very bitter about the things you'll have to leave behind - yet you could be so much happier without most of it.


We're all bitter about things we've had to give up. I had a huge 4 bed 4 storey house with my ex-husband and bought something almost half the size on my own when we divorced. Never been happier. (ADDING: What I mean is the bitterness doesn't last and is often misplaced!)


He might not be physically abusive, but you still feel threatened and I bet you hide in bed pretending to be asleep hoping he'll leave you alone or to avoid a row, or avoid going out with him knowing he'll be sweetness and light to everyone else but horrible to you when you both walk through the front door. My BF has been there with his dad, as has my sister with her OH.

forgetfullass

I am angry about the life I currently have and am trying to change it.


anyway thanks for those who replied and lets leave it at this. I am not looking for sympathy. not really sure why I posted and realise that I shouldn't have bothered. I know what I have do and its not sitting around waiting for him to sort himself out as that's not going to happen.

~Gabriel

You no longer have underage kids living with you so it's going to be more difficult to keep the house and throw him out, but you can try. Change the locks, etc and tell the Police you don't feel safe with him being in the house, with his drinking.

Guest101

~Gabriel wrote: »

You no longer have underage kids living with you so it's going to be more difficult to keep the house and throw him out, but you can try. Change the locks, etc and tell the Police you don't feel safe with him being in the house, with his drinking.

...get arrested....


Excellent advice there.