A newbie: can I join the club please?!

JoeHel

I'm sure there's lots on here who will have been in the same boat but I am just so embarrassed of the financial mess I've nearly got myself into!!

I can still make at least the minimum payments on my cards and I've never missed a payment, but I'm getting so close to it that I have just got to do something to reverse things now!!

I cut up all my cards today. It was a lot harder to do than I thought and I got a little bit panicky, but I feel a lot more in control now I know I don't have that option!

I'm basically in this situation because my partner, who is schizophrenic, didn't work for 3 years and I tried to keep things going "normally" instead of just cutting back like we should have. I didn't want him to feel pressured into going back to work. He won a compensation case for a personal injury and we thought that cash could settle at least half of our debt, but the defendant has now gone bankrupt and we don't know if we'll ever see any of the £21k he was awarded...

Anyway, for the past two weeks I've studied this board and I've done my SOA. Just writing it down has made me feel less stressed than I've been for a while - just facing it and doing something about it. I know there's plenty of scope to cut my SOA, so here goes...

Rent £700
my mobile £30
OH mobile £30
Virgin TV £85 (VIP package, stuck with it 'til May next year)
TV licence £27.10
Council Tax £161
contents insurance £9.82
car insurance £33.19
Gas £42
Elec £29
Gym £63 (contract til June 2008)

---

Total £1202.14

Plus repayments to loans/credit cards £1200

TOTAL OUTGOING £2,402.14

Now for the good news....

My income 1,800
average overtime 300
from my OH 800

TOTAL INCOME 2,900

My OH buys our weekly shop on a Sunday using his son's contribution of £70pw and tops it up to the £80-£100 we spend. That buys all our meals - including our packed lunch stuff.

I allow myself a weekly budget of £100 for everything I want. My biggest goal is to quit smoking, as I can easily spend half that £100 a week on ciggies

I often get extra overtime - £300 is usually the minimum - so any extra rolls over to reduce my overdraft.

As you can see, it's manageable. But if my OH gets ill again and can't work ... well we'd be in trouble. I need to get to the stage where I don't NEED his money - and quick!!!

Am looking forward to the challenge and already realise how much harder it is to buy "frivolous" things when you have to hand over hard cash instead of a bit of plastic..

Best of luck to everyone here. There are some truly inspiring stories. I hope I can be one of them one day!!

JoeHel.x

planbetter

Giving up smoking is a win win situation - difficult when you're stressed though but how fantastic would you feel if you managed it? You sound as if you're coping with a lot - hope the brilliant minds on this site can help guide you through all this.

chloebelle

hi OP, welcome to the community


[IMG]http://smileys.!!!!!!/cat/23/23_29_124.gif[/IMG]


[IMG]http://!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!/sig.jsp?pc=ZSzeb114&pp=ZNxmk788YYGB[/IMG]Well done for facing up to reality, that is a major first step.

JoeHel

Thanks, planbetter. My only worry with giving up is that my OH will still be smoking in the flat. With his mental health condition, addiction is a very common thing and much harder to stop (and he's no desire to stop anyway). So I'll still be surrounded by it at home. But I'm going to try the Alan Carr book which apparently makes you very happy about quitting and not minding being round people who still do. I hope so!!

planbetter

I know what you mean - my ex hubbie has mental health problems and I always end up buying him ciggies because he would rather starve than do without his fags - it doesn't really seem to be a choice really, as you say it's a real addiction. Makes it really hard for you but can you imagine having 50 extra quid a week - mind blowing really, that's two hundred quid a month that would pay your Virgin T.V. and your gym AND you'd feel so good having done it. Good luck with the Alan Carr thing - there must be a way that works - it's just a question of finding it (as a food addict I live in hope!)

sjpsam

I smoke! and suffer mental health problems and are signed off on long term sick due to them! so I feel for you both

A. its not easy with mental health problems
B its not easy to live with someone with mental health!

why not come to a comprimise with him! an aid to help him cut down, it worked for me when my OH niece newborn and BF came to live with us!

I do not believe in smoking around children and especially new borns. When they came to stay with us, I went to the back door or in the garden ( have no porch out there would stand at the back door with it open if it was raining, ) It did my a fav because I wasn';t smoking in the house as such because the baby was here. I have 2 kids that are older, I usuallly smoke in the kitchen or in the living room when they go to bed

Maybe if you can get him to vacate the flat to have a ciggy it might help him cut down, because the hassel of going out to have one might help

Worked for me

HTH

tealady

Just a few thoughts TV licence seems high are you paying arrears? I would ebay/amazon anything that is not nailed down. Check via a cashback site that you are getting the best deals on gas/electricity/insurances. What about food, birthdays Xmas etc. Alos put your debts into the snowball calculator to see which should be cleared 1st. Good luck.

Bunnyinthelights

Welcome!
I know you will get loads of support here-
Do you do a spending diary?
£100 a week is a huge amount to be just frittering away (sorry, but smoking is at best frittering! At worst, a filthy health-killing addiction) Can you cut back here?

HAve you also tried the Snowball calculator?
Bunny

JoeHel

Thanks for all your replies and suggestions. To answer the questions:

I am not going to try and persuade my OH to quit smoking, but he smokes roll-ups anyway which are a lot cheaper than my ciggies. We live in a first-floor flat so sending him outside would just drive him crazy and I couldn't do it. I'll just make him buy his favourite cherry and vanilla tobacco instead 'cos I like the smell of that

I am definitely going to quit though. I have a cold at the moment which will make it easier because smoking makes me feel even worse. I already have the book so that's something I don't have to spend out on!

Is my TV licence high? No, there's no arrears. It may be because I moved in May and our previous licence was in my brother's name. So this is my first licence. If I started part-way through the year I think the payments are higher until I get to their "year end", then next year they will be lower as they're spread over a longer term.

I had a massive ebay selling spree before we moved house as we had no spare cash for our deposit. I couldn't believe it but I managed to raise £800 in a month!!! Mainly clothes I didn't wear any more and unwanted competition wins (my hobby!). We still have a spare cupboard full of things we never used (like a top of the range juicer we've used once) that I could probably sell. I'll have a root round and see what I can find.

My OH cover the shopping bill on a Sunday. We use the £70 "board" that his son pays us per week to live with us, and OH will top up if necessary. I work out a meal plan for the week and we only buy what we absolutely need. We also buy any cleaning stuff, etc, that we need. We started out spending about £110 a week and I've now got that down to an average of £60. Still working on getting it lower!

A spending diary is a great idea. I'll start today. My £100 a week is for everything - drinks at the pub, ciggies, birthday pressies/cards, toiletries, etc. My OH is rubbish at buying his own things and this morning asked if I'd get him some more hair wax. Well I went into Boots and looked at the normal stuff he has - £6.50!! So today he has a new one to try, that was £1.90 I am sure that once I manage to quit smoking I will easily be able to stick to a weekly budget of £50 and have some left over. The £50 from my weekly ciggies will then go on my most expensive credit card - £200 extra a month will make a lovely big dent!

I get a christmas bonus from work which is equal to one week's salary, which we get paid in our November salary. I have not put that into any of my spreadsheets and I'm pretending it doesn't exist. That will cover EVERYTHING we need for christmas with some left over. There's only dinner for the 3 of us to get and we're getting VERY small token gifts this year. There will be some of my bonus left over for some drinks on New Year's Eve.

I had my 40th birthday at the end of August and was sooo lucky in that about 6 people brought me bottles of champagne. I haven't touched them, so we have plenty of posh bubbly for christmas without me spending a penny!

I've done the snowball. I thought it would take me about 6 years to clear the debt I've amassed, so it was very encouraging to see that I may be able to do it in about half of that!

Thanks again for the support and advice. :T

skintscotslass

Hello, I'm new and the biggest help I've had is keeping a spending diary and using cash. I've worked out a budget for the month and withdrawn the cash. I'm finding it much easier not to spend cash on crap, rather than sticking it on plastic. Are you spending up to £100 pw on food? Thats a bit high. Maybe try menu planning and head over to the Old Money board for ideas. I pay £11.97 a month for tv license. Good luck xx

JoeHel

I'm definitely going to try and keep a diary of what I spend.

I've got our weekly shopping bill down to about £60 for 3 of us. My OH's son pays us £70 a week rent and we use that for the food shop. I meal-plan on a Saturday and we buy only what we need. That includes all breakfasts, packed lunches for us all and our evening meals. Plus we get all cleaning/washing/toiletries stuff then too. I think for 3 adults that isn't too bad, but I'm always looking at cheaper ways to cut it down. I'm going to start getting our veg from the local market on Saturday afternoon instead of at Tescos on Sunday morning and see what difference that makes. We have NO pre-packed convenience foods at all any more so our health is better too!