Boyfriend Not Saving

han_nah95_2

Hiya


Hopefully someone can help and let me know how to approach!


5 years ago my dad bought a house which he rented out and I would pay him back the deposit (£50,000) Last year me and my partner decided we would both pay my dad back within 5 years.
We have worked it that we would need to save £350.00 per month in order to do this. All was ok when we suggested it and it was do-able for both of us. He is on a more money and less outgoings, I am finding it tight.


However we are now 2 months in and he hasn't bothered and isn't showing any signs of starting to save. I have asked him about it to which he replies he can't afford to save the £350 however can afford to buy "luxury" items. When I ask about it he just gets annoyed and says I don't have a say on what he buys. I have offered to reduce the saving and pay dad back over a longer time but says he will have it and to not get involved. I have asked if maybe he doesn't want to buy the house back which is ok I just want the truth.


I don't want it to get 5 years down the line, I have my half and he doesn't have anything. Last year we were buying the house and then re-mortgaging after the fixed rate and paying dad back that way, he freaked and didn't want to buy it anymore so we are now renting (paying double to what the mortgage monthly costs would have been)


Is there anything else I can suggest or am I being to selfish asking him about the "luxury" items?


xx

lika_86

Your post is somewhat confusing. Who owns the house? Who lives there? Are you just renting the house? Or another house?

Ultimately you and your partner need to decide what you both want to do about this as it's a big thing and it sounds at the moment like he doesn't want what you do. Then if you both agree I suggest you both sit down and work out a budget and put away whatever savings you need to and can afford at the start of the month.

mark5

I'm guessing they have bought her dads buy to let off him or are planning to do so?

goodwithsaving

Did your Dad buy the property to do this and you hoped that your partner at the time would go along with it? Does he like the house? Is he the same age as you (and even if same age, if he's early 20s, does he want that commitment?).
It isn't clear why you would need to pay your Dad the deposit, you'd still need to raise the mortgage. If you're struggling to save £700 a month, you'll struggle with a mortgage and maintenance

Guest101

han_nah95 wrote: »

Hiya


Hopefully someone can help and let me know how to approach!


5 years ago my dad bought a house which he rented out and I would pay him back the deposit (£50,000) Last year me and my partner decided we would both pay my dad back within 5 years. - renting to you? is he declaring this income?
We have worked it that we would need to save £350.00 per month in order to do this. All was ok when we suggested it and it was do-able for both of us. He is on a more money and less outgoings, I am finding it tight.


However we are now 2 months in and he hasn't bothered and isn't showing any signs of starting to save. I have asked him about it to which he replies he can't afford to save the £350 however can afford to buy "luxury" items. When I ask about it he just gets annoyed and says I don't have a say on what he buys. - indeed. I have offered to reduce the saving and pay dad back over a longer time but says he will have it and to not get involved. I have asked if maybe he doesn't want to buy the house back which is ok I just want the truth.


I don't want it to get 5 years down the line, I have my half and he doesn't have anything. Last year we were buying the house and then re-mortgaging after the fixed rate and paying dad back that way, he freaked and didn't want to buy it anymore so we are now renting (paying double to what the mortgage monthly costs would have been)


Is there anything else I can suggest or am I being to selfish asking him about the "luxury" items?


xx

It depends on what it is and what you spend. Saving £700 a month is a big ask for many couples

Ozzuk

You have two issues, one your boyfriend obviously has issues he isn't willing to discuss with you. Sit him down and ask to discuss it calmly and find out what his concerns are. Maybe setup a direct debit each so it can be forgotten about.

Second issue, I have no idea what the ownership arrangement is but its a mess. Does the mortgage company know your dad is 'renting' to family? Does he declare the income? There could be tax implications for him and you. Why are you paying back a deposit? Are you intending to buy the property? If so, just get a mortgage. All seems very odd.

han_nah95_2

goodwithsaving wrote: »

Did your Dad buy the property to do this and you hoped that your partner at the time would go along with it? Does he like the house? Is he the same age as you (and even if same age, if he's early 20s, does he want that commitment?).
It isn't clear why you would need to pay your Dad the deposit, you'd still need to raise the mortgage. If you're struggling to save £700 a month, you'll struggle with a mortgage and maintenance

My dad bought the property 4 years ago for me to pay him back gradually - however things happened quicker than anticipated and a year ago my partner suggested buying the house off my dad, during the buying process my boyfriend freaked so we ended up moving in but renting it. He has lived in the house for the last year and has helped decorate and sort the garden. I am 22 and my partner is 24.
The mortgage we would have had when we were buying it was £420 we are now paying £750.00 rent. For all rent and bills we both pay in £550.00 and then the supposedly £350.00 saving.

han_nah95_2

Ozzuk wrote: »

You have two issues, one your boyfriend obviously has issues he isn't willing to discuss with you. Sit him down and ask to discuss it calmly and find out what his concerns are. Maybe setup a direct debit each so it can be forgotten about.

Second issue, I have no idea what the ownership arrangement is but its a mess. Does the mortgage company know your dad is 'renting' to family? Does he declare the income? There could be tax implications for him and you. Why are you paying back a deposit? Are you intending to buy the property? If so, just get a mortgage. All seems very odd.

Sorry - I didn't explain myself properly.


I am 22 and he is 24. My dad bought the property 4 years ago for me to pay him back the £50,000 deposit and then the house was mine. (I was to young to be put on the buy to let mortgage) Yes he declares it along with his other 3 properties!


We were just going to buy it last year to save all problems however during the process he freaked and wouldn't go further - a year down the line and renting and living in the property he decided 4 months ago he was ready to start paying it back. Agreed £350.00 a month each and due to start 2 months ago however he hasn't started saving.


We are paying the deposit back to buy the house off dad. We can't "just get a mortgage" as we would have to pay to get out of the fixed term, this runs out in 5 years - hence the paying dad back for then.

[Deleted User]

Your boyfriend seems to 'freak' at the drop of a hat.

Is he ok?

han_nah95_2

Deleted_User wrote: »

Your boyfriend seems to 'freak' at the drop of a hat.

Is he ok?

He is very good at communicating and I don't have any doubts about him (I think because he is so open about everything). He knows I am confused why he suggests and then when we go through with it he just freaks. He did leave me for a week when we were buying last year.


Sometimes I get the feeling he says what I want to hear?!

[Deleted User]

He sounds great.