Can anybody give me a definitive answer on this?

horsecalledseptember

Well, yes, but we do have enough to live off as my husband works. It can be quite a difficult marriage though. Not always but sometimes.

I would never earn enough to cover childcare costs. I have hardly any recent experience and not such a great cv. Just trying to be realistic. All good reasons to keep working at the marriage.

gettingtheresometime

horsecalledseptember wrote: »

I don't think I should be entitled for a moment, but a handful of other people were so very insistent I should be I thought I would ask!

The problem is I have no real way of earning money myself, and so the houses are all I can really leave my children.

Your children are young so what can be their inheritance is, hopefully, a very dim & distant problem

Concentrate on the here & now.

Also have you thought about marriage counselling either as a couple or on your own?

IAmWales

horsecalledseptember wrote: »

Well, yes, but we do have enough to live off as my husband works. It can be quite a difficult marriage though. Not always but sometimes.

I would never earn enough to cover childcare costs. I have hardly any recent experience and not such a great cv. Just trying to be realistic. All good reasons to keep working at the marriage.

There's nothing to stop you training to increase your prospects. You could do that now, that would be a good start towards a new future.

horsecalledseptember

Well, there are a few things unfortunately. Childcare remains a problem. I don't know what I'd train in. It's unlikely I would be very good at it. And so on.

I just want to have something to leave the children.

Red-Squirrel_2

horsecalledseptember wrote: »

I just want to have something to leave the children.

You won't be leaving them for a long long time!

Worry about your life here and now first!

Mojisola

horsecalledseptember wrote: »

I just want to have something to leave the children.

Wouldn't they rather have a happy life now than an inheritance in 50 to 60 years time?

TBagpuss

horsecalledseptember wrote: »

Well, there are a few things unfortunately. Childcare remains a problem. I don't know what I'd train in. It's unlikely I would be very good at it. And so on.

I just want to have something to leave the children.

Why take such a pessimistic view of yourself? How old are your children?
If you want to be able to leave something to them, your best bet is to ensure that you can be self sufficient, which will give you options.

Right now, you won 3 properties, plus your husband's pensions and savings. If you were to split up, then all of those assets would be part of the 'pot' to be divided. Do you have mortgages on any of the properties?

Unless you have disabilities which mean that you can't work, it's not unreasonable to expect you to do so, at least once your youngest child is in school, and were you to divorce then a court would expect you to work towards becoming independent.

Regardless of whether you chose to stay married (and bear in mind that if there are issues, then it's always possible that your husband may make that decision) i'd suggest that you do start to think about what you could do as employment, what training you might need. If your children are still below school age then it may not be cost effective immediately, but perhaps starting to plan, and to consider training now, might benefit you n the long run.

happyandcontented

Op you seem to have quite a negative view of yourself, is that as a result of issues within the marriage?

If you think that further down the line you will need to support yourself then now is the ideal time to gain qualifications, by returning to education either via a college setting or the OU.

thorsoak

You say you want something to leave to your children - in my opinion, the most important thing that you can leave to your children, all of whom are very, very young - is the example of a happy, positive parent who loves them and who has built a happy home.

Who knows what the value of your three properties will be in 30/40 years? Who knows how much you will have to pay out in maintenance on the said properties during those years? Of course you keep the property that you live in, regardless of whether you and your husband stay together - that way you and your children have the security of knowing that you will have a roof over your heads. But the other two? Have you spoken to a financial adviser about your financial needs, both now and in future years?

From your posts, it would seem that you are lacking in self-confidence - be kind to yourself - your parents thought that you would be capable of managing their inheritance, or they would have left it in a trust for you - so grow your confidence - to leave a marriage with three young children might appear daunting at the present time, but other women have done so and made successes of their lives without the cushion that you have.

Be brave - seek financial advice and career guidance - don't do anything in a hurry - but do something!

horsecalledseptember

It is a sort of disability, I suppose, but linked to mental health. Anyway I can only realistically work part time if at all. Thank you for your replies. Ultimately I want to stay in the marriage and so does my husband.