I feel trapped and have very few options

bugslet

I haven't suggested you go to your GP, other people may have. I was merely pointing out the limitations of what they can do.

Nor have I told you not to go and faff with your alternative therapies, I have merely commented on their lack of scientific basis and that for me three that I tried didn't work and I referred to the one that did in case you had never thought of it and you might find it useful.

I'm off this thread now, I wish you well.

heartbreak_star

readingfan wrote: »

My son builds computers - he's built several. It's not a great idea to be building rigs for other people for profit. Way too much can go wrong - what would the OP do if she screwed up the installation and blew a £200 part? She certainly can't afford to replace it.

Sooooo she doesn't screw it up then? It is a fair point thought haha!

Am pretty certain partner just does it for friends - I wasn't suggesting general public

HBS x

heartbreak_star

Cynicism alert -

Quote from an Arabella Weir book regarding her mother's retort on her daughters teasing her about her expensive alternative therapies...

"Oh p!$s off both of you. He pays me attention and that's what I like."

I do often think that's the case with this kind of [STRIKE]charlatan[/STRIKE]practicioner...

On a happier note, I agree with whoever said put your prices up now. If you do get a lump sum payment, get the fridge and cooker paid off. You are entitled to a bit of time off, but sadly that often doesn't happen when you're trying to start up.

Best of luck!

HBS x

warby68

Your reply to me was very long so I don't want to ignore it and I should say say I DID read your thread before posting and my views are after your various reasons and explanations for everything.

I don't speak from no knowledge - I'm an employee of 30y , my husband has his own business. We have children, have had severe health issues and ongoing caring responsibilities. Of course everyone needs a break (I'm on one now) but unfortunately the self employed are not paid for their breaks - my husband takes next to nothing in terms of leave. He isn't alone - its the nature of the beast and where you are heading. That's what I mean about reality. It isn't a softer or easier option for the more 'fragile' (apologies can't find an encompassing word) - its actually a harder one with no safety net (other than benefits).

Also what is it about a part time job which flares up your mental health problems that a full time self employed role won't? Not intending that you disclose here just an obvious question for you.

I still think your way will become clearer when you start to deal with the problems you have based on the remedies actually available to you and not the ones you wish were there (such as more benefits or taking the child benefit from the other parent).

Tackle the debt with a remedy based on your current realistic income level. I know you don't want people to focus on it but its actually fundamental to your situation. You don't like comments on past decisions that can't be undone but as they still impact now they are relevent.

Tackle your budget to live within the current level of income.

Surely then , the pressure to be fully productive (as in a 40h per week worker) is reduced and the reduction in stress should help your health and improve your abilities in the longer term.

Unfortunately 'deserving happiness' and 'enduring much' don't earn you any credit in life - life is unfair. Many of us wear that badge. However much of a bum deal you've had, and I don't doubt any of it, your responsibility at the moment is primarily that of provider and your needs and wants have to be secondary. You're still fighting the unfairness of it all though. I do understand but also know that doesn't help.

I'm not a benefit expert (or even amateur !) but aren't there specific rules on self-employment so that you only have so long to prove its a viable business to continue to qualify for tax credits etc? I guess that would give you your initial targets to see whether the business option is viable.

In summary, I think you need a plan to survive assuming your income DOESN'T rise. Once you can survive on a standstill basis the PRESSURE to succeed goes down and with that the ABILITY to succeed often goes up.

The good news is that your non-negotiable living costs are not high - your rent at £70 a week is still a pretty modest housing cost so if you are willing to pursue a robust debt solution and tackle your budget there should be a strategy for you - not an ideal one or a luxury one but certainly a wolves from the door one even if its benefit based.

Good luck.

LannieDuck

"was a very successful consultant and manager for a large weight loss organisation"

How much were you earning per year before all this kicked off?

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

AngelPie78 wrote: »

Hehe well that's the problem then - the GPs can't do anything and alternative therapies are there which do work for me so what option do I have? You guys are all telling me to go to my GP and I tell you that I do but thatthey can't even offer me counselling so I just do nothing? lol.

I think if you're going to tell someone to not do something, then your alternative should be a viable option. A GP, for me, is not a viable option - other than prescribing me meds which, they say, helps. I would prefer to go and talk to someone and have ANY treatment which actually enables me to live my life to some quality. Alternative therapies seem to work for me.

If you don't know what my GP can do to help, then why suggest I do that instead of going to see someone who I've told you CAN actually help? Apart from the cost implication, there doesn't seem to be any good reason to suggest that.

They don't work for you, any more than prescribing you a sugar pill does.

As for your counselling, presumably from somebody with no medical qualifications, here's some general replies for you. Just talk at random and then imagine someone has said one of these, it will save you a great deal of money.

"Oh?"
"I understand why you feel like that."
"That happens to a lot of very creative people."
"You need to start thinking of yourself more; you are too focused on helping others"."
"You're a really good person."

I can't give an alternative for a genuine mental health problem other than the NHS because there simply aren't any better options. If your doctor won't treat you it's because they don't think there's anything wrong with you that can be treated, and science agrees with them.

Carry on if you want, feel free. It doesn't hurt me, only you. If you won't listen, that's your problem.

ScorpiondeRooftrouser

bugslet wrote: »

But I can comment on my own experience of acupuncture, homeopathy, kinesiology and Bowen Therapy, all of which I have tried. The only one I felt did me any good, was the Bowen. Whilst I went for help with a bad back, on one occasion she did a different treatment as an antidote to a staggeringly bad day and it definitely made me feel more relaxed. This may be something you may find helpful.

In other words you felt naturally better after one of them, but not after the others, simply by chance.

Are you aware that all homeopathic treatments are water? All of them, whatever they say on the bottle, are pure water. Homeopaths don't deny this - it is in fact the point of homeopathy.

AngelPie78

Lol ok well I think I'm out of here.

Thanks to everyone who offered help and valid options which I have taken on board and will use to move forward.

For those of you who have been judgmental and a little harsh, I would urge you to consider how you come across when addressing someone who has mental health issues. Something's that have been said on here would have been very damaging to me a few years ago. It's not that you have to sugar coat things at all, bit people with mental health disabilities can take things to heart badly and it can have a detrimental effect on them.

bugslet

ScorpiondeRooftrouser wrote: »

In other words you felt naturally better after one of them, but not after the others, simply by chance.

Are you aware that all homeopathic treatments are water? All of them, whatever they say on the bottle, are pure water. Homeopaths don't deny this - it is in fact the point of homeopathy.

Bowen is touch therapy like osteopathy is. I have an injured muscle in my back that constantly causes some degree of discomfort, sometimes very painful. I do exercises from the physio and that helps a lot, but sometimes it hurts a great deal and Bowen helps more than osteo and chiro, both of which I have tried.

Yes I am aware of what homeopathy is, I tried it, thought it was rubbish, but at least I've come from a point of personal experience and I wasn't brassic, so my money to waste.

As we are more or less on the same page Scorpion, I'm not sure what your point is.

AngelPie78

warby68 wrote: »

Your reply to me was very long so I don't want to ignore it and I should say say I DID read your thread before posting and my views are after your various reasons and explanations for everything.

I don't speak from no knowledge - I'm an employee of 30y , my husband has his own business. We have children, have had severe health issues and ongoing caring responsibilities. Of course everyone needs a break (I'm on one now) but unfortunately the self employed are not paid for their breaks - my husband takes next to nothing in terms of leave. He isn't alone - its the nature of the beast and where you are heading. That's what I mean about reality. It isn't a softer or easier option for the more 'fragile' (apologies can't find an encompassing word) - its actually a harder one with no safety net (other than benefits).

Also what is it about a part time job which flares up your mental health problems that a full time self employed role won't? Not intending that you disclose here just an obvious question for you.

I still think your way will become clearer when you start to deal with the problems you have based on the remedies actually available to you and not the ones you wish were there (such as more benefits or taking the child benefit from the other parent).

Tackle the debt with a remedy based on your current realistic income level. I know you don't want people to focus on it but its actually fundamental to your situation. You don't like comments on past decisions that can't be undone but as they still impact now they are relevent.

Tackle your budget to live within the current level of income.

Surely then , the pressure to be fully productive (as in a 40h per week worker) is reduced and the reduction in stress should help your health and improve your abilities in the longer term.

Unfortunately 'deserving happiness' and 'enduring much' don't earn you any credit in life - life is unfair. Many of us wear that badge. However much of a bum deal you've had, and I don't doubt any of it, your responsibility at the moment is primarily that of provider and your needs and wants have to be secondary. You're still fighting the unfairness of it all though. I do understand but also know that doesn't help.

I'm not a benefit expert (or even amateur !) but aren't there specific rules on self-employment so that you only have so long to prove its a viable business to continue to qualify for tax credits etc? I guess that would give you your initial targets to see whether the business option is viable.

In summary, I think you need a plan to survive assuming your income DOESN'T rise. Once you can survive on a standstill basis the PRESSURE to succeed goes down and with that the ABILITY to succeed often goes up.

The good news is that your non-negotiable living costs are not high - your rent at £70 a week is still a pretty modest housing cost so if you are willing to pursue a robust debt solution and tackle your budget there should be a strategy for you - not an ideal one or a luxury one but certainly a wolves from the door one even if its benefit based.

Good luck.

Hiya - my problem is that my current level of income is not enough to even pay the absolute essentials. It's not that I don't want to consider paying my debt I but should I be paying back debt over paying for food and petrol?

My plan is keep the business running or get a job. Not sure what other plans there are?

I've already mentioned what happens when I've tried working before so I don't mind sharing - my blood pressure goes up, my anxiety and stress levels increase, I can't sleep, can't eat and end up having weekly migraines. Fun times.

I agree with needs and wants being second but where does health come? Surely that's the MAIN priority? Like I said earlier today, if I work and get signed off/hospitalised then where does leave us? Surely it's better to carry on the way I am so I can keep my health in better shape and then the potential is there to increases income, then go for the income at the detriment of health and being back in this position? That's how I feel this might go if I get a job.

I could really do with talking to a career advisor or something.