Ex has stopped paying child maintenance.

Guest101

badmemory wrote: »

It's written in the deadbeat dad handbook. Avoid paying by going self employed. The one good thing to come out of this as Fbaby says is the freedom from not having to sit and wonder if it will turn up. Our legal agreement said pay by SO but he never would. He just liked to think of me wondering whether it was going to turn up. Then having to bank it, then wait for it to clear.

If HMRC want to investigate anyone for not paying tax, they should start with the ones that start paying maintenance & then go self employed. I would bet they will find large cash in hand transactions & then they should check their figures for mortgages.

The thing to avoid of course is letting the ****'s offspring know just what a **** their father is. They do work it out for themselves unfortunately, mine worries that he may turn out like the ****. But at 14 he told me to stop forging the ex's signature on gift cards and birthday cards because he knew it must be me! Sometimes you just can't win.

And good dad's who just want to see their kids and are happy to pay above and beyond the set amounts get a bad reputation - often the first question being: are you paying maintenance? - Yes, but thanks for thinking I'm a p***k....

gonzo127

Guest101 wrote: »

And good dad's who just want to see their kids and are happy to pay above and beyond the set amounts get a bad reputation - often the first question being: are you paying maintenance? - Yes, but thanks for thinking I'm a p***k....

so true, although i actually had one of my ex's friends (during numerous occasions of being accosted in the street by different ones) telling me i was a deadbeat dad because i didnt pay enough, usually i dont bite but this one i had to and informed them that i actually pay well above the calculated minimum, even though i dont think they believed me, as my ex had told her that i dont pay enough so who is she going to believe

rae123

As sad as it is your child will realise when they are older what a dead beat their father is. Having a non-existent father has made me and my mum closer than any of my friends and their parents.

Art_Deco

Sounds like you and the kids are better without him!! Only thing you can do to make up the loss is maybe do an extra shift at work yourself ,show him hes not wanted or needed.

Geoff1963

From Fierce Creatures, Kevin Kline to his often-absent Dad ( also played by Kevin Kline ) :
Vince: ... you screwed up my whole childhood !
Rod: How could I have? I wasn't even there.

Amyfirework

Thanks everyone.
You are right in that this is the last bit of control he has over us, so by managing without maintenance I've taken the control back. I have no contact with him whatsoever. Contact was supervised by his mum (as requested by social services) but then she went behind my back and let him take them out unsupervised. When I asked her about it she went ballistic and refused to supervise anymore. He's probably glad he has a fab excuse now to use when people ask why he hasn't seen his children - obviously it'll be my fault.

I don't work as I care for my son with autism, so it's even more difficult to increase my income!

X

Butch1985

Out of interest why does he have to be supervised when seeing the kids? Is there a worry over their safety?

Amyfirework

Yeh, risk of emotional abuse. The middle daughter told social services about when he hit her (just before he left). Also he left them home alone while he had them once