Ex has stopped paying child maintenance.

Amyfirework

... well, he stopped in March actually, but we haven't had a penny since. He was violent and abusive while we were together, he left me, I'm trying to divorce him but he's ignored the petition(s), he's seen the children twice in four months and now doesn't pay.

The child maintenance service had just put a Detachment of Earnings order on him which was due to start in September. I couldn't bloody wait! We've had to cut back loads. But now he has apparently gone self employed, and the CMS have confirmed that he is no longer in employment. They've admitted that it will be very difficult to get any money from him now, and if they do it will take a very long time.

I'm gutted. Is there anything I can do?

Thanks

Guest101

Not really. It's sad but if he doesn't earn he cant pay.

Butch1985

It's terrible he's doing this. I have a young son myself and pay regular CM to his mother, we are on good terms now but initially we weren't but it never stopped me paying. I wouldn't dream of not providing for him!


Sounds like he is claiming to be self employed so as to avoid paying CM. You may still be able to get arrears from March until he 'went self employed'. The CMS can apply to take money directly from their bank account. As for any further payments it indeed will be very difficult. If you somehow had proof that he was working and earning money then you'd have a case.

Amyfirework

Thanks Butch. I assume you don't have drink and drug problems?! That's his priority and we have to suck it up...

There are arrears going to back to March (still growing as he hasn't given them any income details), but I'll probably never get them.

And yes Guest, but who said he isn't earning?

Loz01

He probably is earning but declaring he's only making a very low amount a week to get out of paying a decent amount, thats what a lot of self employed people appear to do. My friends ex boyfriend was flying to Dubai and Indonesia and drove an Audi but told the CMS he only earned £120 a week....!!!! So he paid about £23 a week for his child

Geoff1963

You have my sympathy Amy ; but that won't pay any bills.

The only good aspect of the situation, is that he is no longer being a bad influence on you and the children.

Amyfirework

Loz - yep, I can see that being the case here! Well, within reason. I can't imagine my ex being motivated enough to book a holiday or even apply for a passport...

Geoff - yeh, that's true. Sometimes it really is better to have no dad than a rubbish dad

BrassicWoman

So sorry this is happening. Sometimes it's best to just cut all ties.

xx

FBaby

There is nothing you can do. It's one of the few ways that desperate fathers can use to avoid supporting their kids.

In the end, when it gets to this, however tough it is financially, it is peace of mind to know that you don't need him for anything at all any longer. You don't have to constantly worry when/if he is going to pay, having to chase, panicking how you are going to pay your bills when he doesn't.

This way at least you know where you stand and have full control over your budget, and your kids will be even more grateful one day, when they realise all you've sacrificed for them when their dad couldn't have cared less.

Guest101

Amyfirework wrote: »

Thanks Butch. I assume you don't have drink and drug problems?! That's his priority and we have to suck it up...

There are arrears going to back to March (still growing as he hasn't given them any income details), but I'll probably never get them.

And yes Guest, but who said he isn't earning?

HMRC said it. Look it's a common tactic, go self employed, declare the minimum. Eventually CMS can make calculations, but being self employed means that the tax returns aren't due until Oct/Jan the following year.

badmemory

It's written in the deadbeat dad handbook. Avoid paying by going self employed. The one good thing to come out of this as Fbaby says is the freedom from not having to sit and wonder if it will turn up. Our legal agreement said pay by SO but he never would. He just liked to think of me wondering whether it was going to turn up. Then having to bank it, then wait for it to clear.

If HMRC want to investigate anyone for not paying tax, they should start with the ones that start paying maintenance & then go self employed. I would bet they will find large cash in hand transactions & then they should check their figures for mortgages.

The thing to avoid of course is letting the ****'s offspring know just what a **** their father is. They do work it out for themselves unfortunately, mine worries that he may turn out like the ****. But at 14 he told me to stop forging the ex's signature on gift cards and birthday cards because he knew it must be me! Sometimes you just can't win.