Garden fence lights = neighbour war

*Kat*

Slightly exaggerating. BUT...lol

So basically, we've lived here for two years and get on pretty well with our neighbours. We are in a new build, and when we moved in we couldn't afford the fence, so were waiting until we moved in.

My neighbour on the right side got a free fence because they messed up her kitchen. So. She recently added horrible fairy lights, intertwined along the fence. Now, as much as I like nice lighting, and I really do, these lights are really ugly.

I sent her a really nice message (that was pre-approved by friends), asking if she would mind moving them so they're not in my garden - it took her two weeks, and a really snotty reply "I told you I would remove them from MY fence"...oh here we go...

So basically, she moved them and I sent her a text thanking her.

It's now been a week, and I keep pushing her lights through to her side, and then she goes out and pushes them back on mine! Infuriating, and really annoying. I'm trying not to cause any drama, but it's like she's basically asking for it.

Does anyone have any recommendations on how I can fill in the gaps temporarily until we can afford to build our own fence?

Davesnave

*Kat* wrote: »

Does anyone have any recommendations on how I can fill in the gaps temporarily until we can afford to build our own fence?

She lives next door and you sent her a text rather than raise this in conversation? I wonder why.

Yes, her reply was snotty, but your passive-aggressive way of approaching the matter might have had something to do with it.

The straight answer is that you can't interfere with her fence by filling the gaps in it, nor would it be sensible to try. As she's hinting, not very subtly, it's hers, not yours.

It sounds as if you are right at the beginning of a mini power struggle. These things can escalate out of all proportion to their importance, causing regret on both sides. Right now, your neighbour has discovered a button she can push to wind you up, so if you keep responding, she'll find others, you'll retaliate and it won't end well.

Modern housing, and a lot of the old stuff too, rams random people into close proximity, so a degree of tolerance is need to co-exist amicably. Most of us would agree that hanging fairy lights facing someone else's garden is insensitive, but we might not rush to complain about it, because in the spectrum of things that a neighbour can do to cause upset, it's small beer.

There's a fence there already, so if it was me, I'd plant some tall shrubs and the problem would go away all by itself, eventually.

moneyistooshorttomention

Me - I'm trying to picture whether they are hanging over your garden. Any bit that hangs over your garden would, presumably, come under the "overhanging trees/shrubs/etc are allowed to be trimmed back and the trimmings must be handed back to the owner" law (whatever it's called again).

If they're not overhanging/in your space = they're still something you find to be an eyesore...but not on your "territory" so you just have to hide them from yourself (eg with tall plants there). Sooner or later they'll break or she'll get fed-up with them (probably waiting longer to "get fed up with them" than she otherwise would just to be awkward). Could be a worse eyesore - those concrete block walls instead of "proper" walls for instance and you'd be stuck with eye ache.

First case scenario - (politely) mention that law and they are literally not allowed to overhang.

Second case scenario - hide them from yourself and wait for them to wear out/break anyway.

Nathaniel_Essex

Trying to picture in my head how a few fairy lights can be such an annoying eye sore that you don't have the patience to simply wait a few months until you can get your own fence installed. Sounds to me like you're being quite petty.

Some neighbours can be so bad that they force people to move, bring on depression, anxiety, stress and so on. In a way, you should be thankful it's just few fairy lights with a obvious solution just a few months away. Being so petty, you can encourage her to be that terrible neighbour you have to think about every time you leave or enter your house.

Advice? Let it go!

d0nkeyk0ng

Fairy lights wouldn't bother me, even if they were ever so slightly over the boundary. However, if it was intruding or interfering in any way, I would either put my own fence up (ensuring it was high enough to block out the lights as well as remain legal) or add lots of shubbery to hide it all.

getmore4less

is it the physical entity or the light that is the bother?

if the light then there are solutions without pushing them back through.

if it is a decent fence then I would consider the screening option to hide the fence and the lights.

Wilco will be having a sale soon last year they were doing 2m high 4m lengths for less than £5. (down from £30)

http://www.wilko.com/screening+trellis/wilko-willow-screening-4mx2m/invt/0416859

other sorts/sizes/suppliers available.

Hong_Kong_Phooey.

getmore4less wrote: »

is it the physical entity or the light that is the bother?

if the light then there are solutions without pushing them back through.

if it is a decent fence then I would consider the screening option to hide the fence and the lights.

Wilco will be having a sale soon last year they were doing 2mhigh 4m lengths for less than £5. (down from £30

http://www.wilko.com/screening+trellis/wilko-willow-screening-4mx2m/invt/0416859

other sorts/sizes/suppliers available.

What do you suggest they attach the screening to?

warehouse

Fairy lights break real easy.

*Kat*

Oh it's the light, my garden has it's own warm (yellow) lighting and then these things protruding through. It just makes it look a bit ****.

My neighbour and I get on really well, we've text each other about house'y stuff before, like when our bin was left on her path she just gave me a quick text and we moved it, absolutely no drama at all and I didn't expect my request would cause any drama either.

I know for a fact that if the roles were reversed she wouldn't be happy either and would've asked us to remove them and we wouldn't do that in the first place. We have lights on the other side, but we've made sure that they don't interfere with other neighbours garden.

I'm not being petty. I've spent a lot of money on my garden to look the way it does, with the lighting, sleeper boxes, plants, etc and I want it to look the way it's meant to. I don't want to cause a neighbour war about it, which is why I'm asking for advice on how to get around it, considering I now know I can't fill the gaps.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable, and other neighbours have commented on why I've put those lights in my garden, I've told them that they're not mine and asked their opinion also, whether I'm being unreasonable - and they're in agreement with me.

I know it's harder to envisage without pictures, but yes, it bothers me every time I'm in my kitchen and will bother me when the sun finally comes out and I can enjoy my garden.

Sorry, that's an essay right there!

spirit

I would disagree that you get on really well with your neighbour if she texts you about moving your bin.


On bin day, the neighbours here bring each others bins in from the road (especially if they are out/away) so the house doesn't look un occupied. Wouldn't bother me one jot if their bin was on my path or vice versa.


struggling to visualise what sort of fence they have if they are showing on your side?

comeandgo

If it's the light that's the problem and you want to sit in your garden in the sun, then surely they won't be light, is it not at dusk and night that you have a problem? I would agree there should be nothing from your neighbours protruding in your garden. Can the lights be moved along the flex a bit so you just have the wire on your side of the fence?