Friend never worked a day in his life

System

Chloe_L wrote: »

I have spoken to him briefly tonight, and whilst he was the one who approached me initially for advice, he appears to be touchy regarding the subject if I put forward ideas, which has led to a bit of a falling out, which is kind of upsetting. He needs to grow up before he makes himself completely unemployable.

You have the patience of a saint.

You can still be a friend to him and help him in the future. Just make a promise to yourself that you don't do anything that makes you unhappy or holds you back from moving forward in your life.

sangie595

Forget about it. This is not going to end happily for you. He doesn't want to turn his life around. He wants you to do it for him. Don't become a second mother. There are plenty of people paid to help him do this - if he wants to do it. And if he doesn't, he'll find out that there are plenty of people paid to force him to do work that is "beneath him". That will give him the dose of reality he needs. £25k indeed! There are people not earning that who didn't drop out of university! A college drop out whose life experience is contained in his bedroom? No chance.

SouthernTeeze

xapprenticex wrote: »

Why? Tell him about it and let him look into it. He's good on computers so im sure he can use google.

Indeed, don't enable him OP. He's a big boy, he needs to start doing things for himself.

I agree with volunteering, it's a good way to get experience. Or he could try apprenticeships although employers seem to automatically want young apprentices e.g. 16-24. So that may be tricky.

Rosemary7391

Does he have any qualifications? Volunteering whilst doing a course might indicate to future employers that he isn't just going to flake out on them. I suspect at this stage it's more important that he does something worthwhile than gets paid for it, so suggesting eg an OU course (if he's academically up for it) might get him back to the real world without him getting touchy over it...

andygb

If the guy is claiming JSA, then I am very surprised that the DWP has not insisted on him compiling a CV, signing up to UJM, and doing a regular (30 hours a week at least) jobsearch.
I would also expect him to be sent on mandatory courses, where they test basic numeracy and literacy skills, and again, take course attendees through the essential tasks of jobsearching - CV's and covering and spec letters.
There is a lot which does not ring true about this, because the DWP need to have very obvious evidence of jobsearches and applications, particularly if someone has been out of work for quite a while.

Rosemary7391

andygb wrote: »

If the guy is claiming JSA, then I am very surprised that the DWP has not insisted on him compiling a CV, signing up to UJM, and doing a regular (30 hours a week at least) jobsearch.
I would also expect him to be sent on mandatory courses, where they test basic numeracy and literacy skills, and again, take course attendees through the essential tasks of jobsearching - CV's and covering and spec letters.
There is a lot which does not ring true about this, because the DWP need to have very obvious evidence of jobsearches and applications, particularly if someone has been out of work for quite a while.

I'd hazard a guess at him not claiming, since mum pays for everything.

DCFC79

andygb wrote: »

If the guy is claiming JSA, then I am very surprised that the DWP has not insisted on him compiling a CV, signing up to UJM, and doing a regular (30 hours a week at least) jobsearch.
I would also expect him to be sent on mandatory courses, where they test basic numeracy and literacy skills, and again, take course attendees through the essential tasks of jobsearching - CV's and covering and spec letters.
There is a lot which does not ring true about this, because the DWP need to have very obvious evidence of jobsearches and applications, particularly if someone has been out of work for quite a while.

I was thinking the same.

Chloe_L wrote: »

I have spoken to him briefly tonight, and whilst he was the one who approached me initially for advice, he appears to be touchy regarding the subject if I put forward ideas, which has led to a bit of a falling out, which is kind of upsetting. He needs to grow up before he makes himself completely unemployable.

You have done your best, you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink it.

andygb

Rosemary7391 wrote: »

I'd hazard a guess at him not claiming, since mum pays for everything.

Post#5, the OP has said that he is claiming JSA, since being entitled to it, which for a person aged 26 is a very long time, particularly as they have never worked before.

"Yes he has been claiming Job Seekers Allowance since being entitled to it, I think since he dropped out of college."

andygb

DCFC79 wrote: »

I was thinking the same.
You have done your best, you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink it.

I think that the big problem with this guy, is that he has not any pressures on him to actually get a job.
He lives at home, most probably doesn't pay any bills, and is enjoying all the creature comforts of someone who has a full time job paying their own way in life.:(
Until the safety net is removed, he isn't going to change his ways.

coffeehound

Chloe_L wrote: »

I have spoken to him briefly tonight, and whilst he was the one who approached me initially for advice, he appears to be touchy regarding the subject if I put forward ideas, which has led to a bit of a falling out, which is kind of upsetting. He needs to grow up before he makes himself completely unemployable.

It sounds like he's been in denial for a long time and the cold reality of his situation is more than he can take on board at the moment. All you can do is make the suggestions given here and leave him to make his own move. The mother may have allowed him such a comfortable living situation that only some kind of major change will force him out of it now.